Teacher blabbed to older sibling

[Anonymous]

My youngest DS is in the 1st grade. Yesterday, I got an email informing me that he'd hit and kicked a classmate on the playground and that he'd thrown mud on the way in. The teacher stated that had separated him from the rest of the class for this behavior. Despite the rather dramatic tone of the email, I responded immediately that we agreed this was unacceptable and we'd address it with DS that evening. I did ask for more information about what may have precipitated the behavior, because it is very out of character for my kid, although DS is kind of impulsive so the mud-throwing is more believable. At any rate, if he had a problem we want to address it ASAP.

Here's the thing that got my dander up, though. DS's older brother (4th grade) told me last night that he saw YDS's teacher in the hall as his class was coming in from the playground and mentioned to him that his little brother was in his class. YDS's teacher proceeds to tell him all about the incident, including "your brother punched someone in the stomach and kicked him on the ground" (which we think is a bit of an exaggeration of what happened). I'm not mad that my YDS was disciplined, but I am mad that this teacher told all this to his brother and it front of the rest of the 4th grade class. I think that's really inappropriate for a lot of reasons. I would like to address it with the teacher and possibly the administration, but my DH says to let it go. This isn't the first instance of this teacher displaying questionable judgement, so my patience is thin.

[Anonymous]

The 4th graders don't care about gossip involving a first grader. Listen to your husband (not to sound like Kirk Cameron).

[Anonymous]

I'd address it with the administration - it's totally inappropriate for the teacher to discuss her student with another -- regardless of familial status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The 4th graders don't care about gossip involving a first grader. Listen to your husband (not to sound like Kirk Cameron).

although i agree with this, it isn't really the point. definitely questionable for a teacher to be discussing disciplinary issues, in public, to another kid (sibling or not).

that said i'm a little confused. this happened and then the same day coincidentally, this late in the school year, your older kid randomly introduced himself to your younger kid's teacher?

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure I understand how this happened. The fourth graders stopped and crowded around while this teacher told a several minute story to the older brother? And the teacher did not even know the older brother before this?

Are you sure the older sibling is telling the whole truth? You are quick to question the teacher's story ("dramatic tone" "bit of an exaggeration") but I wonder if you should be questioning your older son's version.

[Anonymous]

So, your kid punched another kid in the stomach and then kicked him on the ground, and you feel that the teacher's email reporting the incident was of a..."rather dramatic tone"?

Forget whatever the teacher did. You need to address the behavior with your kid. Your ire is misdirected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, your kid punched another kid in the stomach and then kicked him on the ground, and you feel that the teacher's email reporting the incident was of a..."rather dramatic tone"?

Forget whatever the teacher did. You need to address the behavior with your kid. Your ire is misdirected.

Seriously. I'd be mortified if my kid behaved like that.

[Anonymous]

In an ideal and perfect world, you would be right.

In the real world, let it go.

I volunteer at my children's schools extensively, and I can see first hand how much administrators and teachers have to worry about, manage and deal with. Don't waste their time over piddling little details like that.

There are many more things that bother me about schools: for example, that parent volunteers in MCPS, stuffing Friday folders, can see all the grades earned by all the students in the class. That some teachers yell at their students way too harshly. That some schools punish the whole class for the misbehavior of a few students. That some schools punish students by taking their recess time without allowing them other means to get their energy out, which aggravates their misbehavior. The list goes on...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
In an ideal and perfect world, you would be right.

In the real world, let it go.

I volunteer at my children's schools extensively, and I can see first hand how much administrators and teachers have to worry about, manage and deal with. Don't waste their time over piddling little details like that.

There are many more things that bother me about schools: for example, that parent volunteers in MCPS, stuffing Friday folders, can see all the grades earned by all the students in the class. That some teachers yell at their students way too harshly. That some schools punish the whole class for the misbehavior of a few students. That some schools punish students by taking their recess time without allowing them other means to get their energy out, which aggravates their misbehavior. The list goes on...

Being busy and overwhelmed does not relieve a teacher of their obligation to be professional. The teacher was clearly unprofessional in this instance. If this were a one-time slip-up for an otherwise good teacher, I'd email the teacher after you had discussed with first grader and include that you expect that the teacher will never again discuss 1st grader with 4th grader as it is inappropriate for her to do so. If this slip-up is just another in a long line of slip-ups -- talk to the administration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
In an ideal and perfect world, you would be right.

In the real world, let it go.

I volunteer at my children's schools extensively, and I can see first hand how much administrators and teachers have to worry about, manage and deal with. Don't waste their time over piddling little details like that.

There are many more things that bother me about schools: for example, that parent volunteers in MCPS, stuffing Friday folders, can see all the grades earned by all the students in the class. That some teachers yell at their students way too harshly. That some schools punish the whole class for the misbehavior of a few students. That some schools punish students by taking their recess time without allowing them other means to get their energy out, which aggravates their misbehavior. The list goes on...

Agree with all of the above. In our school nobody knows how to keep their mouth shut (teachers, administrators, parents). It sucks OP but nothing will probably come out of doing anything. And it almost certainly isn't the first time this teacher has shared information inappropriately.

[Anonymous]

Right now, it's your job to correct your CHILD'S behavior, not that of the teachers.

[Anonymous]

Everybody saw what happened, its not a secret. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
In an ideal and perfect world, you would be right.

In the real world, let it go.

I volunteer at my children's schools extensively, and I can see first hand how much administrators and teachers have to worry about, manage and deal with. Don't waste their time over piddling little details like that.

There are many more things that bother me about schools: for example, that parent volunteers in MCPS, stuffing Friday folders, can see all the grades earned by all the students in the class. That some teachers yell at their students way too harshly. That some schools punish the whole class for the misbehavior of a few students. That some schools punish students by taking their recess time without allowing them other means to get their energy out, which aggravates their misbehavior. The list goes on...

You just made this post all about your problems with your school. That has nothing to do with what the OP has stated.

OP-- you are right to address your concerns to the school about the teacher. It is humiliating enough to have your child act out this way. It does not need to be broadcasted out to the rest of the school. The teacher acted unethically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, your kid punched another kid in the stomach and then kicked him on the ground, and you feel that the teacher's email reporting the incident was of a..."rather dramatic tone"?

Forget whatever the teacher did. You need to address the behavior with your kid. Your ire is misdirected.

Seriously. I'd be mortified if my kid behaved like that.

+1,000,000

OP, you are subconsciously redirecting here. Not only with the teacher talking to your other son (if that is what happened) but the fact that you want to get the story straight because it is out of character. Listen to what happened and deal with it. Stop questioning. Do you think your teacher actually has it out for your son? Come on now. Doesn't matter what led up to it, doesn't matter what happened after. Deal with your child's behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
In an ideal and perfect world, you would be right.

In the real world, let it go.

I volunteer at my children's schools extensively, and I can see first hand how much administrators and teachers have to worry about, manage and deal with. Don't waste their time over piddling little details like that.

There are many more things that bother me about schools: for example, that parent volunteers in MCPS, stuffing Friday folders, can see all the grades earned by all the students in the class. That some teachers yell at their students way too harshly. That some schools punish the whole class for the misbehavior of a few students. That some schools punish students by taking their recess time without allowing them other means to get their energy out, which aggravates their misbehavior. The list goes on...

You just made this post all about your problems with your school. That has nothing to do with what the OP has stated.

OP-- you are right to address your concerns to the school about the teacher. It is humiliating enough to have your child act out this way. It does not need to be broadcasted out to the rest of the school. The teacher acted unethically.

No, these are systemic problems in MCPS.
And I'm not making it all about me.
I am explaining to OP that her issue is a very minor one compared to all issues in schools these days. Having been a parent at multiple schools, I can ASSURE you that teachers and staff talk about kids, and parents, often in inappropriate ways. I mean inappropriate the way OP means inappropriate. Which again, will never change. But, go ahead and complain on principle if it makes you feel better. You might be labelled as the annoying parents, or you might not. What's certain is that nothing is going to change. I've been there, done that.