Teacher blabbed to older sibling

[Anonymous]

If there always something private that was said I guess I'd be bothered. But what your younger son did was very public. There was no secrets shared here. And I agree with those who think you are making light of some pretty awful behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If there always something private that was said I guess I'd be bothered. But what your younger son did was very public. There was no secrets shared here. And I agree with those who think you are making light of some pretty awful behavior.

Exactly - it's not like he had a pee incident and the teacher broadcasted it!

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry this happened, OP. The teacher was completely out of line and unprofessional and you have a valid complaint.

On the other hand, I would be mortified if my child did that and would focus on my child's behavior and let it go. I'm not minimizing the behaviors but this type of hitting and kicking is more common than you might think. As a part-time substitute teacher I think that at most schools, even "good" ones, the administration or teachers are responding to these types of conflicts every day if not multiple times a day. It's most common among boys and those in the younger grades like your son.

[Anonymous]

It's somewhat unprofessional, but I would definitely let it go. Your child engaged in the inappropriate behavior openly, it is not a secret. You have bigger issues to address

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's somewhat unprofessional, but I would definitely let it go. Your child engaged in the inappropriate behavior openly, it is not a secret. You have bigger issues to address

Indeed, it's just gossip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's somewhat unprofessional, but I would definitely let it go. Your child engaged in the inappropriate behavior openly, it is not a secret. You have bigger issues to address

Indeed, it's just gossip.

What amazes me is the OP's apparent disregard for the kid who was punched and, perhaps, kicked. Imagine the OP's outrage if her little darling had been the one punched. Deal with your child and stop blaming others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, your kid punched another kid in the stomach and then kicked him on the ground, and you feel that the teacher's email reporting the incident was of a..."rather dramatic tone"?

Forget whatever the teacher did. You need to address the behavior with your kid. Your ire is misdirected.

Seriously. I'd be mortified if my kid behaved like that.

I agree. You're feeling angry, but you're getting mad at the teacher instead of your kid. You want the teacher to tell you about your kid so that you can parent your child well. Don't get the teacher in trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
In an ideal and perfect world, you would be right.

In the real world, let it go.

I volunteer at my children's schools extensively, and I can see first hand how much administrators and teachers have to worry about, manage and deal with. Don't waste their time over piddling little details like that.

There are many more things that bother me about schools: for example, that parent volunteers in MCPS, stuffing Friday folders, can see all the grades earned by all the students in the class. That some teachers yell at their students way too harshly. That some schools punish the whole class for the misbehavior of a few students. That some schools punish students by taking their recess time without allowing them other means to get their energy out, which aggravates their misbehavior. The list goes on...

You just made this post all about your problems with your school. That has nothing to do with what the OP has stated.

OP-- you are right to address your concerns to the school about the teacher. It is humiliating enough to have your child act out this way. It does not need to be broadcasted out to the rest of the school. The teacher acted unethically.

No, these are systemic problems in MCPS.
And I'm not making it all about me.
I am explaining to OP that her issue is a very minor one compared to all issues in schools these days. Having been a parent at multiple schools, I can ASSURE you that teachers and staff talk about kids, and parents, often in inappropriate ways. I mean inappropriate the way OP means inappropriate. Which again, will never change. But, go ahead and complain on principle if it makes you feel better. You might be labelled as the annoying parents, or you might not. What's certain is that nothing is going to change. I've been there, done that.

I have not seen this happen at any of the schools my children have attended over the past 14 years. In fact, the administrators and teachers where my kids attend go to great lengths to safeguard the identities of children and confidential matters. A teacher would face severe consequences at my kids' mcps schools if they did what OP's teacher did. It is definitely not systematic.

[Anonymous]

Okay, sure, the best practice would have been to not say anything. But honestly, I don't think a little embarrassment over bad behavior is a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

The problem is your kid really pretty seriously misbehaved if he kicked someone and punched them in the stomach. You minimized than at 3 least three times in this post ("dramatic tone of email" "doesn't sound like him" "teacher has poor judgment") so dragging this to light is only going to make you look like a deflector parent who doesn't want to admit their child acted up in school. It's possible it did not happen exactly the way your 4th grader said but even if it did/ he would have found out anyway, it's his brother? And you have bigger problems, which are your son's behavior.

[Anonymous]

My youngest DS is in the 1st grade. Yesterday, I got an email informing me that he'd hit and kicked a classmate on the playground and that he'd thrown mud on the way in. The teacher stated that had separated him from the rest of the class for this behavior. Despite the rather dramatic tone of the email, I responded immediately that we agreed this was unacceptable and we'd address it with DS that evening. I did ask for more information about what may have precipitated the behavior, because it is very out of character for my kid, although DS is kind of impulsive so the mud-throwing is more believable. At any rate, if he had a problem we want to address it ASAP.

If you thought there was something that "precipitated the behavior," why didn't you just talk to your own kid when raising it with him? He's in first grade, not a baby. He's capable of telling you if there was something you needed to

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My youngest DS is in the 1st grade. Yesterday, I got an email informing me that he'd hit and kicked a classmate on the playground and that he'd thrown mud on the way in. The teacher stated that had separated him from the rest of the class for this behavior. Despite the rather dramatic tone of the email, I responded immediately that we agreed this was unacceptable and we'd address it with DS that evening. I did ask for more information about what may have precipitated the behavior, because it is very out of character for my kid, although DS is kind of impulsive so the mud-throwing is more believable. At any rate, if he had a problem we want to address it ASAP.

If you thought there was something that "precipitated the behavior," why didn't you just talk to your own kid when raising it with him? He's in first grade, not a baby. He's capable of telling you if there was something you needed to

Because she would rather pretend the incident was the fault of another kid and the teacher than her own son.

[Anonymous]

Ok, people....this is the OP. I am not minimizing what my kid did. It was completely unacceptable and will not be tolerated. He has received consequences at home for his behavior, which will continue until he comes home on "green" again. He usually has a "green" day, so we know he can do it and expect that he will control himself no matter the provocation. But, at the same time I am dishing out consequences, I am trying to find out what instigated the behavior because it IS out of character for him and I think a good parent should try to find out why her child suddenly starts lashing out at people. I am not unconcerned about the other kid involved, but I was told by the teacher that the other child was also hitting and kicking and those parents were also notified, too, so I don't believe my kid was the only bad actor in the situation. Nevertheless, the behavior has been addressed and will be addressed further if it continues.

Now I know that I came off as defensive and skeptical about how the teacher raised the issue. That stems from a lot of smaller issues with this particular teacher's professionalism and judgement throughout the year. Just a few examples:
-early in the year, he showed the kids a couple of episodes of Goosebumps, featuring a vampire and a werewolf, which in my opinion is totally inappropriate for 1st graders. Since then, my DS sleeps with the light on and has had nightmares because the show scared the s*&t out of him.
-he lets the kids watch YouTube videos during free time and the kids have found some inappropriate content (violent video games, etc.)
-apparently shows movies in the afternoon several times a week. A movie every now and then is fine. Several times a week, however....
-gave a kid (not mine) an unflattering nickname at the beginning of the year still uses it. (calls the kid Lurch)
-has made snarky, sarcastic remarks about "can't wait for the weekend.." or "really looking forward to that school holiday" while rolling his eyes at the kids. He does this in front of parents. While we all make these kind of comments about our jobs, we usually have the good sense not to make them to our clients and customers. I can imagine it's nice to have a break fro a room full of 6 year olds, it's probably best to pretend that you enjoy your job when you are talking to those kids' parents.

I've addressed with him the issues that affected my kid over the year and have avoided going to the administration to make a big deal out of anything because my kid is doing well academically and seems generally happy at school. I figure we just got a bad roll in the teacher lotto this year and will hope for better next year. But, given all this, I think I had cause to be a bit skeptical about the actual events and whether or not he was laying it on a bit thick. I may say something to the teacher directly about not discussing YDS's discipline issues with his older brother but probably won't go to the admin at this late stage in the year. But I do think it's unprofessional and inappropriate to discuss that kind of stuff with anyone other than the parents, much less other kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
In an ideal and perfect world, you would be right.

In the real world, let it go.

I volunteer at my children's schools extensively, and I can see first hand how much administrators and teachers have to worry about, manage and deal with. Don't waste their time over piddling little details like that.

There are many more things that bother me about schools: for example, that parent volunteers in MCPS, stuffing Friday folders, can see all the grades earned by all the students in the class. That some teachers yell at their students way too harshly. That some schools punish the whole class for the misbehavior of a few students. That some schools punish students by taking their recess time without allowing them other means to get their energy out, which aggravates their misbehavior. The list goes on...

+1

[Anonymous]

You are mad because your kid acted poorly and the teacher told other kids who in turn will tell their parents and you know those parents are now embarrassed. It's a you problem not a teacher problem.