Why should I feel guilty that I prepped my kid
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
Yes, I prepped my kids and they both got into AAP. And yes, I am Asian...
Why do some parents on DCUM make a big deal about it? I have seen parents prepping their kids for sports..Do they feel bad or guilty about it? Then why is it that prepping for education is considered as taboo? Some races are good in sports while some are good in education..We need to accept the fact that everyone is different. Everyone preps their kids the way they think their kids will do well. For me pepping for sports is weird. I see lot of Americans spending time on weekends teaching their kids basketball, soccer etc..Why? Because you want your kids to succeed...same applies to most Asians...We feel education is more important. That's why we prep!! |
Anonymous
|
Who cares?
In 20 years you'll be writing a post about "why should I feel guilty my kids hate their lives and never talk to me? I pushed them to be doctors because it's MY CULTURE!" Signed, married to a successful Asian man who hates his mother |
Anonymous
|
You re teaching your kids to do better on tests, not learning more knowledge. This is the problem. People like you are why AAP is struggling: Instead of focusing on learning, which is the goal, you are focusing on the scores of tests.
In my family, we "prep" by taking walks talking about how the water currents change the land forms; how water flows down hill, how we can predict thing using physics and math. We put very little effort on specific tests. Your hyper-prepped kid my score better on the CogAT -- I don't give a f*** how my kid does on that. But, my kid understands what she is doing. Oh, she is an A student in Middle school at an AAP center. |
Anonymous
|
I certainly help my kids prep for an academic test in school (math, social studies, spelling, etc.).
But typically for the standardized tests, they are designed to NOT be studied for. So prepping for those seems a little strange. And there is also the idea that if you have to prep for a standardized test, then the child might not be able to handle a traditional classroom environment, or that the test scores might not be relevant to actual knowledge or ability. However, if your culture says to prep, then just go with what you are used to. As the PP says, who cares? And who knows? |
Anonymous
I'm Asian but I do not agree with you. While I agree that some races are good in sports while some are good in others, I do spend afternoons and weekends taking my kids to various sports activities, and this is not just so that they can succeed, but because they learn from these experiences too. |
Anonymous
Are you prepared to pay for tutors for the rest of his education? What I have observed is the those that had to prep intensively for things like AAP also had to have tutors in MS and HS and even college. The kids always were fighting and working hard up until they burned out. They never felt smart and always felt defeated. Kids can't go full bore and needed the crutch of tutoring for the 20 years it takes to get a graduate degree without fall out on their psyche and happiness. |
Anonymous
| This is so true...I know a family whose kid goes to kumon for Math and English, plus an extra math class (dunno much abt it) but no sports |
Anonymous
|
OP here: You think we just prep for tests, no we also do everything what PP mentioned about focusing on learning, taking walks and talking abt current weather, logical reasoning. Prepping is just one extra step.
No kid can score on COGAT or NNAT if they are not smart. It's just getting them familiarize with the test pattern. |
Anonymous
|
OP here: You think we just prep for tests, no we also do everything what PP mentioned about focusing on learning, taking walks and talking abt current weather, logical reasoning. Prepping is just one extra step.
No kid can score on COGAT or NNAT if they are not smart. It's just getting them familiarize with the test pattern. |
Anonymous
|
I wouldn't feel guilty if I were you, as long as you aren't worried about suffering the consequences of prepping for tests.
My DS got into AAP, but did not have stellar test results. But we spend our time around the dinner table just talking about stuff - playing math games, talking about science and hypothetical situations, and whatever else comes up in the normal dinner conversation. I want my kids to be inquisitive and learn about the world around them, not what is on the piece of paper in front of them that day in school. Yes, we review spelling words and math problems as well. But I'd rather my kids learn how to learn rather than memorize. |
Anonymous
| I was in the FCPS gifted program years ago. Here's my take: there were those of us who got a high score on the test without prepping. Some had to work harder to get in and stay in the program. The latter were the ones who are now more successful in life because they had to work harder to get where they wanted to be, they were less likely to give up when things got hard. So I say to the OP--don't feel guilty, as long as you aren't chastising your children if they get one answer wrong, you are teaching them the skill of perseverance and hard work. |
Anonymous
Wrong! There is a strong practice effect. If your child could score high enough naturally, what would be the purpose of prepping? Some tests are meant to be prepped for and some are not. IQ are not. If your child took a WISC or a WIPPSI, the test would be invalidated if the tester learned you had prepped. |
Anonymous
|
I think you're wasting your time and money. I never prepped any of my kids. I'm not even all that concerned about homework or grades. We have five. Three out of college. One in college. One in high school. Of the five, three were in gifted programs. One is "highly gifted" (whatever that means). My third was a National Merit Scholar. Again, zero test prep.
We focus on the process of learning. I could not possibly care any less about test scores. The college scholarships were great! But I certainly can't take credit. Smart kids do well without test prep. |
Anonymous
|
You shouldn't. We didn't prep but if we did I wouldn't feel guilty. All these people who complain about test prep, talk to them when their kids get ready to take the SAT or ACT and I dare them to suggest no PSAT was taken and no prep courses were paid for.
AAP wasn't important enough for us to prep for so we didn't. 2 of my kids got in and 1 is too young, but had it been important to us, we would have prepped with no guilt. I can say with 100% certainty when the time comes we WILL do SAT prep for every single child. I had SAT prep, as did my husband. We got great scores and both went to Brown. I went on to get my JD from Harvard (with LSAT prep) and my DH got his MBA from Wharton at UPenn (he did GMAT prep). No guilt. No shame. |
Anonymous
| OP - you shouldn't but it makes no difference in life whether your child got into AAP or not. |