Why should I feel guilty that I prepped my kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If FCPS says don't prep, then I don't think you should do it.
To the best of my knowledge, FCPS has never come out and said this.
Basically, the critical comments represent a culture clash. This is just the way it is done in Korean and China and India. Not surprisingly, these groups are hugely over-represented in AAP and at TJ. And at Harvard, Stanford etc., etc.

They may not say don't prep through taking a pra tice test boot camp but they do say that the best way to prep is with a good night's sleep and a good breakfast. When you are going to take the SAT, you are not told to only prepare with sleep and food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think there is any doubt that public education at all levels, ES, MS HS and college, has been changed by the arrival of large numbers of Asians. They are just simply outperforming academically, and what you are reading here is angst over that. They are taking spots at the most selective, prestigious institutions that used to go to other groups. Rather than work harder to compete, some people in these groups want to kvetch and make accusations - sad really.

What you are really seeing is a clash of cultures comparing people coming from a resource limited society to a rich society: we have the resources to educate all, and as such prefer a well rounded student. Frankly, the biggest medical problem facing this country is obesity. Fighting that requires time spent active, not studying. In addition, it has been shown that leadership is best developed in unstructured time. So, kids need time to just play. If you look at the creativity of the countries these immigrants come from, you find a lot of excellent technicians, but few leaders. That is why samsung copies apple. That is why, per capita, The US and the EU far outpace Asia in Nobel Prizes per capita https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_Nobel_laureates_per_capita, with about 10/10 million people whereas Japan leads asia with 1.6/10 million people.

Humans are more than just a career. How would we have art? Music? Literature?

And the irony..........Asians are the least obese ones

[Anonymous]

They DO say not to prep. Each time I have gone to a Back to School Night for one of my four children when they were in the second grade, there has been one (Asian) parent who has asked "What can I do to prepare my child for the CoGAT?" And every single time, the teacher has said, "Nothing. There is absolutely nothing that should be done besides making sure they get a good night's sleep and a good breakfast."

One of my children said that before taking the CoGAT, the teacher asked the students to raise their hands if they had seen this test, or one like it, before. Half the hands went up. The teacher told them they should not have seen the test and she wished they'd spent that time outside playing instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think there is any doubt that public education at all levels, ES, MS HS and college, has been changed by the arrival of large numbers of Asians. They are just simply outperforming academically, and what you are reading here is angst over that. They are taking spots at the most selective, prestigious institutions that used to go to other groups. Rather than work harder to compete, some people in these groups want to kvetch and make accusations - sad really.

What you are really seeing is a clash of cultures comparing people coming from a resource limited society to a rich society: we have the resources to educate all, and as such prefer a well rounded student. Frankly, the biggest medical problem facing this country is obesity. Fighting that requires time spent active, not studying. In addition, it has been shown that leadership is best developed in unstructured time. So, kids need time to just play. If you look at the creativity of the countries these immigrants come from, you find a lot of excellent technicians, but few leaders. That is why samsung copies apple. That is why, per capita, The US and the EU far outpace Asia in Nobel Prizes per capita https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_Nobel_laureates_per_capita, with about 10/10 million people whereas Japan leads asia with 1.6/10 million people.

Humans are more than just a career. How would we have art? Music? Literature?

And the irony..........Asians are the least obese ones

I used to think that, too. But more and more, that's not the case. The longer they are here in the US, the American ways seem to take hold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If FCPS says don't prep, then I don't think you should do it.
To the best of my knowledge, FCPS has never come out and said this.
Basically, the critical comments represent a culture clash. This is just the way it is done in Korean and China and India. Not surprisingly, these groups are hugely over-represented in AAP and at TJ. And at Harvard, Stanford etc., etc.

They may not say don't prep through taking a pra tice test boot camp but they do say that the best way to prep is with a good night's sleep and a good breakfast. When you are going to take the SAT, you are not told to only prepare with sleep and food.

True; do you think that is code for “don’t prep?” It seems to me they would issue a stronger statement than that if they really discouraged prepping. They must know it goes on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If FCPS says don't prep, then I don't think you should do it.
To the best of my knowledge, FCPS has never come out and said this.
Basically, the critical comments represent a culture clash. This is just the way it is done in Korean and China and India. Not surprisingly, these groups are hugely over-represented in AAP and at TJ. And at Harvard, Stanford etc., etc.

They may not say don't prep through taking a pra tice test boot camp but they do say that the best way to prep is with a good night's sleep and a good breakfast. When you are going to take the SAT, you are not told to only prepare with sleep and food.

True; do you think that is code for “don’t prep?” It seems to me they would issue a stronger statement than that if they really discouraged prepping. They must know it goes on.

It is more politically correct to say what you should do, rather than what you shouldn't do.

Ever try this method with your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I prepped my kids and they both got into AAP. And yes, I am Asian...

Why do some parents on DCUM make a big deal about it? I have seen parents prepping their kids for sports..Do they feel bad or guilty about it? Then why is it that prepping for education is considered as taboo?

Some races are good in sports while some are good in education..We need to accept the fact that everyone is different. Everyone preps their kids the way they think their kids will do well.
For me pepping for sports is weird. I see lot of Americans spending time on weekends teaching their kids basketball, soccer etc..Why? Because you want your kids to succeed...same applies to most Asians...We feel education is more important. That's why we prep!!

Prepping for an IQ test is cheating. It makes the results of the test invalid. IQ tests are supposed to measure inherent cognitive abilities, not achievement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If FCPS says don't prep, then I don't think you should do it.
To the best of my knowledge, FCPS has never come out and said this.
Basically, the critical comments represent a culture clash. This is just the way it is done in Korean and China and India. Not surprisingly, these groups are hugely over-represented in AAP and at TJ. And at Harvard, Stanford etc., etc.

They may not say don't prep through taking a pra tice test boot camp but they do say that the best way to prep is with a good night's sleep and a good breakfast. When you are going to take the SAT, you are not told to only prepare with sleep and food.

True; do you think that is code for “don’t prep?” It seems to me they would issue a stronger statement than that if they really discouraged prepping. They must know it goes on.

It is more politically correct to say what you should do, rather than what you shouldn't do.

Ever try this method with your kids?

yeah, “you should eat your peas.” Never seems to work very well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AAP has enough space for everyone who qualifies, so what some other families do has no bearing on your child.

Sure it does. The teacher has had to give up trying to do much that requires real thinking and going more into depth now in my child's AAP center classroom, because half the class is the product of prepping and can't actually think at the level that a gifted program should bring out in gifted children. Oh but they can study and grind their little worker bee hearts out. They belong in gen ed, and gen ed should be higher quality. Ultimately I don't blame anyone for clawing and cheating their way out of the teach-to-the-lowest-ability gen ed mindset. Just don't kid yourself that it is without consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AAP has enough space for everyone who qualifies, so what some other families do has no bearing on your child.

Sure it does. The teacher has had to give up trying to do much that requires real thinking and going more into depth now in my child's AAP center classroom, because half the class is the product of prepping and can't actually think at the level that a gifted program should bring out in gifted children. Oh but they can study and grind their little worker bee hearts out. They belong in gen ed, and gen ed should be higher quality. Ultimately I don't blame anyone for clawing and cheating their way out of the teach-to-the-lowest-ability gen ed mindset. Just don't kid yourself that it is without consequences.

And that's why Asian kids are admitted at lower rates to elite schools than their scores would suggest. They're hard workers, but they aren't creative or innovative thinkers. They aren't as smart IQ-wise as the white kids who have the same scores. Their scores overestimate their abilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares?

In 20 years you'll be writing a post about "why should I feel guilty my kids hate their lives and never talk to me? I pushed them to be doctors because it's MY CULTURE!"

Signed, married to a successful Asian man who hates his mother

His mother doesn't care that he hates her. She cares that he is successful. His feelings on the matter are probably of little interest to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AAP has enough space for everyone who qualifies, so what some other families do has no bearing on your child.

Sure it does. The teacher has had to give up trying to do much that requires real thinking and going more into depth now in my child's AAP center classroom, because half the class is the product of prepping and can't actually think at the level that a gifted program should bring out in gifted children. Oh but they can study and grind their little worker bee hearts out. They belong in gen ed, and gen ed should be higher quality. Ultimately I don't blame anyone for clawing and cheating their way out of the teach-to-the-lowest-ability gen ed mindset. Just don't kid yourself that it is without consequences.

And that's why Asian kids are admitted at lower rates to elite schools than their scores would suggest. They're hard workers, but they aren't creative or innovative thinkers. They aren't as smart IQ-wise as the white kids who have the same scores. Their scores overestimate their abilities.

I don't think this is actually true. I think this is something white people tell themselves to feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If FCPS says don't prep, then I don't think you should do it.
To the best of my knowledge, FCPS has never come out and said this.
Basically, the critical comments represent a culture clash. This is just the way it is done in Korean and China and India. Not surprisingly, these groups are hugely over-represented in AAP and at TJ. And at Harvard, Stanford etc., etc.

They may not say don't prep through taking a pra tice test boot camp but they do say that the best way to prep is with a good night's sleep and a good breakfast. When you are going to take the SAT, you are not told to only prepare with sleep and food.

True; do you think that is code for “don’t prep?” It seems to me they would issue a stronger statement than that if they really discouraged prepping. They must know it goes on.

It is more politically correct to say what you should do, rather than what you shouldn't do.

Ever try this method with your kids?

yeah, “you should eat your peas.” Never seems to work very well.

How about:

You should eat your peas and NOT the candy.

Tell me what your kid will say.
I will guess your kid will say, but I WANT the candy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AAP has enough space for everyone who qualifies, so what some other families do has no bearing on your child.

Sure it does. The teacher has had to give up trying to do much that requires real thinking and going more into depth now in my child's AAP center classroom, because half the class is the product of prepping and can't actually think at the level that a gifted program should bring out in gifted children. Oh but they can study and grind their little worker bee hearts out. They belong in gen ed, and gen ed should be higher quality. Ultimately I don't blame anyone for clawing and cheating their way out of the teach-to-the-lowest-ability gen ed mindset. Just don't kid yourself that it is without consequences.

And that's why Asian kids are admitted at lower rates to elite schools than their scores would suggest. They're hard workers, but they aren't creative or innovative thinkers. They aren't as smart IQ-wise as the white kids who have the same scores. Their scores overestimate their abilities.

I don't think this is actually true. I think this is something white people tell themselves to feel better.

I think the poster meant...They aren't as smart IQ-Colorwise...since color has so much to do with IQ.

[Anonymous]

Some races are good in sports while some are good in education..We need to accept the fact that everyone is different

Is this really what you meant to say? That people are better or worse at different skills because of their race?