Daughter having panic attacks- advice please!!

[Anonymous]

My daughter will be 10 in October and had her first panic attack a couple of weeks ago. I didn't know what I was dealing with at that point so we took her to her pediatrician. DD said that she was having trouble breathing and the dr wanted to make sure that it wasn't anything more.

Dr. talked to DD and I together (and then at my request, individually). Figured out that the anxiety was triggered by the thought of going back to school after being out sick for three days. She was worried about being behind and the pressure of catching up. She was sick right before spring break so she was away from school for about two weeks (even though she only missed 3 days).

Last week it was something seemingly innocuous that one of her teachers said about himself being injured that triggered another panic attack (but not until the next day).

DD uses a relaxation app that REALLY helps- but it's a band aid. Also, every night we talk about her ups and downs of the day. She feels like this is ruining her life (her words).

I'm going to see if I can get her into a summer group to help her manage the anxiety. She's on the early end of puberty and i think that hormones are factoring into this as well.

I would love to any advice from parents whose kids have faced this. All tips and words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Maybe her school is too much for her and she would be better off in a less demanding environment.

[Anonymous]

Where is she getting pressured about school, is what you need to be looking at.

Always try to find the original source of the problem in order to solve it.

[Anonymous]

I have a very anxious child and it's a multi step process. Counselor at school could help and be a place for her to check in if she is stressed at school. There are a couple of good books - can't remember name since I'm not home, also have her keep a journal or draw pictures or take a walk - give her strategies to cope when she is feeling out of control.

[Anonymous]

You need to post this on the SN Forum where people have more experience with this and not suggest that it's a school issue.

[Anonymous]

Hi,
Sorry to hear it but good that you are on it. I have a little recent experience with them but the context is much different for our teen who has breathing issues that can cause hyperventilation that turns into a panic attack.

Here are things he has tried but keep in mind these are tips for a group of illnesses he has which people online found useful: breathing into a paper bag (something to do with CO2 concentrations - you can tell her teachers she has a breathing problem and she may pull out her paper bag and breath into it- hard to do in front of other kids but see if she'd be up for it). Teach and practice deep belly breathing when she's not anxious so she can go to it right away. Also drop head between knees and deep breathe or use paper sack. If she can walk slowly and maybe hold something in her hand like warm tea - if she is at home and deep breathe to stop the hyperventilation that can help.

He is using an inhaler to get a message to his brain about his breathing but that isn't allowed in general panic attacks. However, after a particularly bad attack, we had to request the next level for our kid which is the lowest dose of ativan to be given at onset of attack. Haven't used it yet.

Good luck - try whatever you can to break that pathway. Teach her meditation pronto too - sit for a few seconds, start repeating a word or sound in your mind, mind drifts, when you become aware bring mind back to word/sound. Do for 10 minutes. Stop, relax. Get up and move along with your day.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry this is happening to your 10 year old. My panic attacks started when I was an older teen. Long-term, I found that regular yoga and mindfulness helped me a lot. I know that there are kid's yoga and mindfulness classes in the area - Circle Yoga in NW DC does this. Chevy Chase elementary school has even integrated it in their daily school life! What's important is to be very self-aware and be able to parse out what is triggering an attack, and how to self-talk into reasoning it to a manageable level of anxiety. This took me years to achieve, but then I had no support. Yoga and mindfulness are respectively physical and mental exercises to develop self-awareness.

Depending on the frequency of her attacks, this could be in addition to more emergency measures and conventional therapy for her anxiety.

Big hugs to your daughter.
One more thing - I'm sure she's quite academically capable. Placing her in a less academically-demanding environment would really be a last resort.

[Anonymous]

My 10 year old DD also has panic attacks (and intrusive OCD-like thoughts which cause them). She has done very well with a great cognitive behavioral therapist who has taught her skills to combat anxiety. (This is our third therapist though - the first two did not help.) She also now takes anxiety medication as it was affecting her and our lives so much that she couldn't leave the house.

Here is a good website to start teaching her some of these skills. (While she may not have OCD, the OCD section is helpful for those sudden intrusive thoughts like being injured that it sounds like she may have.)

https://www.anxietybc.com/parenting/complete-home-tool-kit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to post this on the SN Forum where people have more experience with this and not suggest that it's a school issue.

Yes, where everything's a "chemical imbalance" and can only be successfully treated with drugs.

Why not first try to find the source of the stress first? Isn't that exactly what you're "supposed" to do? Why so opposed to this?? Good to have drugs as a last resort, but only then. You must know how long it often takes to find the "right" drug, and then you have to find the "right" dose. And then you have to constantly change it up to allow for the healthy weight gain for growing children, assuming their appetite isn't affected by the drugs.

Developing brains of young children can easily be affected in ways you don't want. This is very important to remember.

Again, just so you don't twist what I'm saying here, the drugs can be useful in severe circumstances when nothing else is helping.

[Anonymous]

Take it seriously. Get her help - the summer group that you mentioned but I would also suggest getting her an individual therapist as well as evaluating her for medication. This will not go away on it's own.

[Anonymous]

OP, you have an opportunity here to get her help sooner rather than later; please don't miss that opportunity.

Two things in the original post were red flags to me.

I'm not sure why you refer to waiting for a "summer group" for her to work on her anxiety-- do you mean group therapy in the summer only? Why wait until then? Are you concerned that adding therapy or counseling to her life at this time will create more stress somehow? It shouldn't, if you get a good therapist or counselor who is experienced at working with kids her age. And a group setting may or may not be right for her - a professional needs to determine that. I don't see why waiting for summer is somehow preferable to getting her evaluated and possibly seeing someone now, rather than later.

I also note that you mention she's at the starting end of puberty. That can affect a kid's reactions to things, of course, and as a parent of a teen girl, I've seen it happen - but not to the point of actual, diagnosable panic attacks. Please take care not to buy into the idea (which I see a lot on parenting forums here and elsewhere) of "It's hormones kicking in" as a way to downplay girls' emotions. I know you don't mean to do that, OP! But I've also known well-meaning parents who thought that girls' emotional issues or mental health issues were "just hormones, we need to just ride it out" for too long before realizing that there were other issues in play.

The fact that she says this is "ruining her life" sounds like it's just preteen drama to us adults, and it may be. Or it may be the tip of the iceberg. My DD has a friend she's known since preschool (now they're high schoolers) and what were dismissed as just hormones and drama in this girl have turned out to be serious mental health issues requiring ongoing treatment. I'm not saying that every girl your DD's age who has tough times is on the road to years of therapy! I'm just noting that when a kid is having anxiety bad enough to cause panic attacks, it's time to get a professional on board to assess things and start giving your child coping skills. You sound very open to getting your DD help, for sure -- just please don't wait.

Do ensure that you also have the school counselor and your DD's classroom teachers in the loop too. And if your DD clicks with the school counselor, find out if the counselor will meet with her to work on skills to handle her feelings in the situations that may come up at school. But I would not let the school counselor replace the idea of seeing whatever outside mental health professional is appropriate to get your DD evaluated and maybe into talk therapy.

[Anonymous]

I started having panic attacks around that age. In my early 20s, I developed a severe problem with panic-anxiety disorder, to the extent that I became extremely agoraphobic ad could only leave my house under certain limited circumstances. (I was also extraordinarily good at hiding this--I don't believe my parents or anyone else understood the extent to which this was a problem for me.)

I strongly, strongly, strongly recommend professional help. Cognitive behavioral therapy is a very good place to start.

[Anonymous]

I have panic disorder and GAD, and I started having panic attacks in my preteen years.

I agree 100% with PP who recommended cognitive behavioral therapy -- I haven't had a panic attack in 10 years (since I started CBT), even through having my kids, buying a house, all the super-stressful life stages that previously would have had me in the hospital for a panic attack, thinking I was dying.

Another huge help is exercise outside in the sunlight. No idea why, but outdoor active time makes me much more stable. That and good sleep habits.

Your DD will be fine! I am an otherwise VERY happy person who has had a great life so far. Let her know it's common and she can get help to deal with it. Poor kiddo!

[Anonymous]

Thank you all so much for your input!

Finding the source of the stress or trigger isn't always easy (but the panic attacks have "only" happened twice so far). I mentioned the summer groups because super social DD is likely to enjoy them most, however DH and I will not wait until the summer to start therapy. The process of finding someone has begun and I hope to have an appointment next week. In the meanwhile we do what we can at home with meditation, breathing awareness, etc.

14:41- Thank you SO much- I wish I could hug you.

[Anonymous]

Trying to handle my anxiety, here is what has worked. When an attack starts, drink water and take deep breaths.

I have managed it enough to skip medication so far and I take valerian and st. johns wort on the worst days. I exercise a lot and that helps. Taking long walks and doing yoga help, as do other forms of exercise.

Finding triggers wasn't easy for me until I worked through a few breakdowns. That is not the way to do it. I had 3 therapists and no one caught the anxiety. I didn't know until after a breakdown when I woke up not able to breathe. But knowing was a blessing. I have probably had this my whole life and not known.

What really helped was figuring out my options. If staying home sick and catching up would cause a panic attack, I would figure out all my options up front so that as the situation changed, I would just change my plan.