What would you do -- houses, schools, commute, mortgage, retirement?

[Anonymous]

We live in a SFH in a low-end school district. Our house is paid off. DH travels 50 min. each way (driving, stressful). But, sometimes (once a week), he goes downtown. We are close enough to a metro, so that is how he gets downtown. On occasion, he has to be at his office for the morning, but then downtown for the afternoon ... so he has to drive there (office) in the morning, then re-position his car at the metro (closer to our house) then metro in for the afternoon, and come back so that his car in closer to home at night. Kids are approaching ms. DH is 12-15 yrs from retirement (i.e. 55 now). We love our neighborhood and all the amenities/retail that are close by. Life is easy. If we stayed, we would have to get tutors to fill in what is missing at school. But, if we are going to move for better schools and shorter commute, it has to be now (b/c of the kids' age/school situation).

Option 1: stay where we are (financially beneficial, but not so great for schools and really bad for DH who will be committing to the long commute for 12+ yrs -- which is only going to get harder to do as he ages -- might make him retire earlier than he would otherwise choose to do).

Option 2: move to Vienna where it is close to metro and a 20 min. commute to office, BUT, financially very hard b/c we'd have to spend $160K and probably get a mortgage for $100K more. obviously, schools will be good and there is activity around.

Option 3: move to Chantilly where we would get good schools, 20 min or less commute to office, but difficult to get downtown. Would have to spend $100K, but no mortgage. Not really walkable to anything in the neighborhood, but close drive to retail.

Option 4: move to Ashburn where we would get good school, 20 min. commute to office, difficult to get downtown. Would only have to spend $10-20K, no mortgage. Not much for retail except groceries and gas. 15-20 min. to most real retail. Has trails, pools and seems easy to get around (although not sure what people do other than drive to somewhere else). Financially attractive.

We are not used to having a mortgage. Net monthly income 10K. We have been saving about $5K per month and living on $5K. If we get a mortgage, savings will be reduced. The thought of committing to a mortgage at this point in life is weighing on me. I like the idea of living within or below our means -- b/c it allows us to feel wealthy -- we can generally do or have what we want (and we don't want for much). But, with a mortgage, we have to be more budget conscious. What would you advise?

Is it crazy to increase expenses at this point even if we get better schools and shorter commute?

[Anonymous]

Most people choose where to live based on two things: schools and commute. I find it odd that you have essentially set those two critical things aside in favor of living life without a mortgage.

I think any of your options is better than killing your husband gradually with a crappy commute and ensuring your kids get a sub-par education.

[Anonymous]

Education and a commute should be a priority. If you buy in a good area, it is also an investment. I would buy in Vienna. Right now you are "wealthy" at the expense of your children and also your husband's quality of life.

[Anonymous]

Go cheap in Vienna. Or Mclean. What's the realistic price point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people choose where to live based on two things: schools and commute. I find it odd that you have essentially set those two critical things aside in favor of living life without a mortgage.

I think any of your options is better than killing your husband gradually with a crappy commute and ensuring your kids get a sub-par education.

We only recently became aware of concerns about the school quality -- particularly at the higher levels. We have lived in this area for 15+ years -- prior to marriage. At that time, it made sense for commute (which was at a metro-stop location for both of us). 8 yrs ago, DH's commute changed, but DH wasn't complaining and still doesn't want to be the reason for everyone to move. If it wasn't bothering him, it wasn't bothering me. But, with recent investigation on the schools, plus negative input from some (not all), we began looking at other options. I now see his commute as crazy and very detrimental. But my life is great here! And we don't feel financial pressure. In my head it makes sense to move, but then I think about the reality of moving and the stress that puts on everyone + the significant cost and I wonder if we should be trying to make it work. Will we really get a better education at a "god school"? Is it worth the cost (financially and in loss of easy life super close to amenities, less crowded area)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go cheap in Vienna. Or Mclean. What's the realistic price point?

Would prefer to be in the $780 or less zone. Based on what we've seen so far, it looks like $899/900 is going to be required and even then it is smaller, older, less functional than our current house (but usually a much bigger yard!).

[Anonymous]

What about private school, since it would be for a fixed period of time? That doesn't resolve the commute for your DH though. Any possibility he could move toward at least some teleworking?

[Anonymous]

Stay in Fairfax. Would Burke or Fairfax Station work. Robinson Secondary is a top rated school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about private school, since it would be for a fixed period of time? That doesn't resolve the commute for your DH though. Any possibility he could move toward at least some teleworking?

Seems like the $250K we would have to put toward a house in Vienna (not Ashburn or Chantilly) would be about the same price as 10 yrs of private school (Which is what we would need 6 yrs for one kid, 4 for the other b/c DC2 is in AAP, so can get through ms). Seems like the mortgage is the better buy b/c we can get it back down the road where we can't get the tuition back... and as you noted, doesn't help the commute issue.

[Anonymous]

If he only has to go downtown once a week, I would just do the Ashburn option. I have a 45-minute commute, and I honestly enjoy the time in my car, listening to audio books. But even if I hated it, I could do just about any commute if it's only once a week.

[Anonymous]

Rent someplace you like and rent out your current home to offset the difference in costs; then in 6 years you can move back to your paid off home

[Anonymous]

I would move. Life is too short. You're clearly saving plenty of money.

If I were you I would rent someplace in a good school district. A two bedroom. Don't lock yourself into a 15 or 30 year mortgage. Use 3k of the 5k for rent. Saving 2k a month plus maxing out his 401k is still great, especially since you have a paid off home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rent someplace you like and rent out your current home to offset the difference in costs; then in 6 years you can move back to your paid off home

Thinking of doing this myself. nP here.

[Anonymous]

If you are listing these three places as preferred options, the current location must really suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rent someplace you like and rent out your current home to offset the difference in costs; then in 6 years you can move back to your paid off home

Thinking of doing this myself. nP here.

I had a coworker that did this in Springfield. You can make this work. I had another coworker in PG county who had to get out before her daughters ended up in a shitty school so she looked around for an affordable house in a GS9 or better school district. They ended up moving to South Carolina.