What would you do -- houses, schools, commute, mortgage, retirement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -- it would be 8 yrs until DC 2 is out of hs. And DH would then be forced back to the long commute when he is 63 yrs old. (if we rented in a better school zone with closer commute while renting out our current house). That doesn't seem like a good plan for the long term.

Well, rent in the better school zone/shorter commute and decide after 2 years if this is a good fit...You will still own your old home free and clear, and can take the time to decide which area works best for everyone.
Personally I don't like rapidly expanding communities. The facilities are pretty and new, but the switches in school boundaries seems to happen more frequently too

[Anonymous]

Why are those three locations your only options? You can get good schools and relatively close public transportation in West Springfield (Franconia/Springfield Metro), Burke (2 VRE stops) and various places in Annandale (express metro buses). Your housing price point would be fine. You can get nice houses in the 500s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are those three locations your only options? You can get good schools and relatively close public transportation in West Springfield (Franconia/Springfield Metro), Burke (2 VRE stops) and various places in Annandale (express metro buses). Your housing price point would be fine. You can get nice houses in the 500s.

trying to keep the office commute to 20 min. or less. No to IB school zones.

[Anonymous]

does this woman work? or is she just killing her husband slowly while she "works" inside the house????

[Anonymous]

Somebody already mentioned it, but rent a house in Vienna and rent your out. The commute is a killer and the schools will be good.
We hoping to move to Oakton /Vienna and rent if we still can't afford to buy. We have to condos right now so it's not like we are missing out on growing equity. Maybe we qualify for a townhouse in FF county by the time kids are in middle school, maybe not, but will most likely still move for better commute and schools.

[Anonymous]

With decisions like this I find it useful to think of myself on my deathbed, which we will all face:

1) Does moving mean your kids won't have any inheritance of might have to support you in your old age? (I'm guessing no... $10k a month net is solid $)

2) Will you regret leaving your kids less money or will you regret not spending time with them when you take your final breaths?

For me, as long as the decision isn't a financial burden on my kids - and only on me - I've always opted for quality of life choices. Not easy, especially when you see friends blow past you with huge incomes, but it's a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:does this woman work? or is she just killing her husband slowly while she "works" inside the house????

Some people can't stand it when a woman has a nice life

[Anonymous]

OP here -- we see our contributions to the family and partnership as equal and vital to our family's happiness and success. DH sees not having a mortgage as a freedom that he values b/c not having a mortgage means he could quit his job if it wasn't fun/interesting/rewarding anymore. DH also sees our current situation of access to neighborhood amenities and retail as a plus for him (he commented such after walking back from our nearby gym this morning). We are both struggling with this decision b/c we see benefits from staying and benefits from moving (but those are more "in theory" b/c we aren't experiencing them yet and we haven't seen any place that has as many amenities + as nice a house + better commute + better schools + financial comfort zone yet). We both look around and think "we aren't going to have this when we move, we aren't going to have that when we move..." We start to second guess ourselves -- is it worth it to give up X, Y and Z, and to put everyone through a lot of stress (to move/lose friends) for "better" schools and a shorter commute?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people choose where to live based on two things: schools and commute. I find it odd that you have essentially set those two critical things aside in favor of living life without a mortgage.

I think any of your options is better than killing your husband gradually with a crappy commute and ensuring your kids get a sub-par education.

ditto exactly. you both deserve a happier life for the next 12-15 years that he is still working- that is a long time. Instead it sounds like you are sacrificing too much (and I am a very conservative person who likes to save money).

[Anonymous]

OP, it is not just the academics you will not get at a bad school, it's company/ peer pressure/ example for your kids. Even a low SES/high FARMS/ESOL elementary is not too bad; middle school is different.
No tutor is going to make up for classmates coming from troubled homes and generational poverty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, so you stay at home and just want to save more money at the expense of a really long commute for your husband and your children's education? Sounds like you want to make sure you like the neighborhood since you're home all day and that you aren't thinking about the rest of the family. Having a mortgage of 100k at your income isn't a big deal and you should be able to pay it off quickly maybe - gasp - princess you should get a job and help to do that.

Yeah, right.... I'm the princess driving the 12.5 yr old sedan! Right! You have no idea what you are talking about and I'm not going to fill you in on reality.

Well, you are the reason they say "a fool and his money are soon parted." The "cost" is not simply a $100k mortgage. The cost of the Vienna move would be about $300K b/c we would be taking 160k from savings (that $5k per month has been adding up), and then getting $100k mortgage and then there is the cost of selling -- including commission, moving costs, real estate sales taxes, atty fees, etc. -- which is about $50k more. So we're taking about a cost of $310K to move into Vienna. That's money that's not available to pay for the kids' braces, replacement cars for either of us, therapy for the kid most likely to need it, etc. etc. And given that the stock market is low right now (buyer's market), it might be wiser to put that money in a fund and use it to pay for tutors. As it happens, I'm actually the one motivating us toward a move. I just don't know what is the smartest decision given all the factors involved. We are generally financially conservative and risk averse -- and that put us in a position where we have options!

OP, the move to Vienna is not going to 'cost' you $300k. You are investing that in real estate while also providing your family with a place to live. The only true cost is the closing costs and the move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it is not just the academics you will not get at a bad school, it's company/ peer pressure/ example for your kids. Even a low SES/high FARMS/ESOL elementary is not too bad; middle school is different.
No tutor is going to make up for classmates coming from troubled homes and generational poverty.

Thank you. That is what we suspect, but haven't yet experienced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are those three locations your only options? You can get good schools and relatively close public transportation in West Springfield (Franconia/Springfield Metro), Burke (2 VRE stops) and various places in Annandale (express metro buses). Your housing price point would be fine. You can get nice houses in the 500s.

The schools in Springfield suck compared to the Vienna schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -- we see our contributions to the family and partnership as equal and vital to our family's happiness and success. DH sees not having a mortgage as a freedom that he values b/c not having a mortgage means he could quit his job if it wasn't fun/interesting/rewarding anymore. DH also sees our current situation of access to neighborhood amenities and retail as a plus for him (he commented such after walking back from our nearby gym this morning). We are both struggling with this decision b/c we see benefits from staying and benefits from moving (but those are more "in theory" b/c we aren't experiencing them yet and we haven't seen any place that has as many amenities + as nice a house + better commute + better schools + financial comfort zone yet). We both look around and think "we aren't going to have this when we move, we aren't going to have that when we move..." We start to second guess ourselves -- is it worth it to give up X, Y and Z, and to put everyone through a lot of stress (to move/lose friends) for "better" schools and a shorter commute?

Yes. A shorter commute and better schools will be exponentially better for your family than the amenities you enjoy now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it is not just the academics you will not get at a bad school, it's company/ peer pressure/ example for your kids. Even a low SES/high FARMS/ESOL elementary is not too bad; middle school is different.
No tutor is going to make up for classmates coming from troubled homes and generational poverty.

Thank you. That is what we suspect, but haven't yet experienced.

You don't talk to people who have older kids?