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Anonymous
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Does anyone else get tired of being one?
RANT WARNING! In the last 24 hours I have: Put the much-loved elderly dog down (because it was "important for me to be there", but after the 3rd scotch we actually got the truth: he couldn't do it) Woke the kids up before the big event and told them dog was dying and would they like to say goodbye? Dealt with same. Dealt this morning with crying children, nanny (God bless her - and I MEAN IT!!!!), and parents/in-laws re same Drove child to school and answered questions like: "Momma, how do you spell die?" on the way Talked to the pet crematorium re: getting remains and the dog breeder re: a new pup Planned DH's travel to attend important DH family event I just learned about today (when talking to crying FIL re dog) Confirmed plans for my nephew's graduation and dog's memorial with family members Bought nephew grad gift Ordered books on crate training on Amazon Arranged to get home to talk to DH about feelings about departed dog Oh, and I did I mention I work full time in a high hours job that has an impending tight deadline? The dog was amazing. Really. So everybody else gets to fall apart, and I am the glue. I am ok with this. But sometimes, sigh... |
Anonymous
I'm sorry.  Hang in there.
(and think twice about getting another dog any time soon.) |
Anonymous
| Yep... we women are the glue. |
Anonymous
| I had to do almost all the same for our first "child" all while trying to get pregnant. It was terrible! My manly man husband fell apart into a baby and yes, I quickly learned what it was like to be the glue. We did all the stuff we swore we'd never do - kept the ashes, created a little memorial shelf with pictures and the box of ashes, etc. We got the new puppy, learned about crate training (that did not work for us), spent $$ on dog school (totally worth it!), dog walker cost a fortune too, but also worth it and then after all that getting up in the night to let the puppy out to pee, I found out it was training for me because I was pregnant! We were able to channel our sadness into two new babies - one furry and one not. Husband now takes all the credit for the research, getting up with the puppy, etc. Whatever! The new dog (who sometimes still gets called the old dog's name) has been a lifesaver for all of us even though I did 99.9% of the work to get us there and with absolutely no credit for it. Oh well, at least YOU know how I feel! |
Anonymous
| Men have a very hard time with death. My husband's mother was dying. Really dying. He kept insisting she was fine, and I finally got him in the car and we dashed up 95 because I was afraid he wasn't going to get to say goodbye to her. I'm not sure frankly that he's really mourned her. |
Anonymous
OP here. 9:37, I DO totally know how you feel. DH announced yesterday that he is the one who is going to fly out to pick up the new pup. I guess he does beginnings and I do endings? 
The idea of the new pup is really helping the kids, so I hope it turns out as you experienced. Thanks for your post (and thanks to the other osters, too). I'm glad to know you ladies understand! |
Anonymous
| Come on people, it's only a dog! You're all crazy!!!! |
jsteele
Site Admin Online
Site Admin Online
You must not have ever owned a pet, or at least not a pet that you cared about. If you cannot sympathize with the previous posters, you should just keep quite. There is no need to be rude to them. |
Anonymous
I've owned 2 pets that my family loved and cared for. I just think it's overboard to take them to the human level and give them a treatment that human beings usually get. I'm sorry if I sounded rude. I just can't imagine making a funeral ceremony for a dog. I love my pets but they're still pets. I just got an email from a friend raising funds to pay for her dog's chemotherapy. I do feel bad for the dog, we all love him but I know enough people that can't afford their own medicines, I think its an exaggeration do extend pet care this far. It's my opinion, I stand for it but I do apologize for sounding rude. |
Anonymous
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Us women are so magnificent!
Make sure that you find time for you regardless of how impossible that feat may seem. |
Anonymous
Actually, OP's post is about more than just losing the family dog! |
Anonymous
rude PP here. I understand her effort and I've witnessed such process with people keeping a family together when they lose a grandparent, a parent, a child, NEVER when only a pet dies. what's the point of all the grief if they're going to BUY a new pet? Seems something replaceable. Can you buy a new grandparent? - in this case grief makes sense. You all seem overboard and you stress out of things that are not priorities that's why life seems so hard on you. Learn to take it easy and it will all fall in place. |
Anonymous
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I'm sad for you, rude PP. Not 'cause you're rude. 'Cause you're dead inside.
OP, a memorial at the death of any family member-- two feet or four-- is a wise and loving thing. Teaching the kids about death and grieving is important. So that was energy well-spent, IMO. |
Anonymous
Dead inside is the person that wastes energy in processes that don't really matter. I can understand grief over a human being but dogs are animals. Good parents know how to teach children about life processes and manage their emotions. People without emotional balance create wounds in their children that will never heal. |
Anonymous
I so agree. The loss of our family's pet was my son's first experience with death and grieving. I watched him tenderly pet him during his final breaths. We all cried at the moment that we realized he died. My son was able to say goodbye to our pet who he so dearly loved. A few years later, we still remember him. My larger lesson as a mom is that I had raised a very, kind and loving boy. It's a pity that some view life as just a disposable incident. |