Why is redshirting so rare if it's so advantageous?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

I agree that education isn't a race. You know how you sometimes hear about a 12-or-13-year-old heading off to college? It's the parents of those kids who view education as a race, not the parents of the kids starting college a few weeks shy of their 18th birthdays.

So, if I have a late August vs. late September child/birthday, what exactly is the difference between a month? You may be robbing them of a year of adulthood by forcing them to be kids an extra year when they are 18/adults.

You have only a few years of childhood, it's precious and fleeting, but decades of being an adult. Who needs another year of working, bills, taxes, and stress? Most people given the choice would likely prefer another year of being a carefree child.

Speak for yourself, but I felt embarrassed about still being in "childhood" when most of my peers had moved on to "adulthood".

The vast majority of kids don't turn out like you.

That's the very reason for my embarrassment. I would be just fine with how I've turned out had I not been part of a group that generally does extremely well. I'd be in good company. But as it is, I am in a group in which I am one of the only people, if not the only person, to not excel. I haven't lived up to the expectations of the group I'm in.

Wait. You say that other redshirted kids generally excel, and that you are an exception and in fact one of the only people in that group not to be happy with your lot. So then you come here to warn people against redshirting?

Assuming you are sincere, the only way this could be helpful to anyone is if you were to explicitly tell us what qualities you think set you apart from the other redshirted kids who by your words did “extremely well”.

I started out at 4 and it was absolutely a mistake. I can clearly articulate why: I was socially immature, although academically advanced, and my social problems were deeply damaging to my mental health and education in a way that reverberated for years. I would recommend that those with a child who is socially immature and young for grade redshirt.

What would you recommend, given both your poor experience, and your observation that most redshirted kids do extremely well? What set you apart? How can we identify specifically which kids do better starting earlier vs later? Now that would be a useful discussion.

What I'm saying is that it's far more embarrassing to do poorly when you're in a group that generally does well than it is to do poorly when you're in a group that generally does poorly.

How did redshirting make you do poorly? Isn't the lesson with redshirting that the outcome is pretty much the same either way? But for redshirting you were going to be great? Come on.

Like the natural law anti-redshirter, logic isn't going to work here. This person needs help beyond DCUM.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

I agree that education isn't a race. You know how you sometimes hear about a 12-or-13-year-old heading off to college? It's the parents of those kids who view education as a race, not the parents of the kids starting college a few weeks shy of their 18th birthdays.

So, if I have a late August vs. late September child/birthday, what exactly is the difference between a month? You may be robbing them of a year of adulthood by forcing them to be kids an extra year when they are 18/adults.

You have only a few years of childhood, it's precious and fleeting, but decades of being an adult. Who needs another year of working, bills, taxes, and stress? Most people given the choice would likely prefer another year of being a carefree child.

Speak for yourself, but I felt embarrassed about still being in "childhood" when most of my peers had moved on to "adulthood".

The vast majority of kids don't turn out like you.

That's the very reason for my embarrassment. I would be just fine with how I've turned out had I not been part of a group that generally does extremely well. I'd be in good company. But as it is, I am in a group in which I am one of the only people, if not the only person, to not excel. I haven't lived up to the expectations of the group I'm in.

Holding back does not change motivation, IQ, and all that stuff so if you were held back, there is no guarantee you would have excelled more. Some of it is personality, some of it is IQ, some of it is parenting, some of it is genetics, and or other factors and a combination of those things. You cannot change a child's IQ. You are not giving your child an extra year of childhood by holding them back.

[Anonymous]

Because money

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:At that point they will green-shirt.

I can't understand parents who green-shirt. It's almost as if they want their kid to do less well.

Not if the kid is advanced socially, academically, emotionally, mentally and physically. If you have an anxious kid who is struggling with normal social interactions, academics, physical dexterity, mental acuity etc it makes sense to redshirt them. Similarly if you have a high performing, confident, high IQ and EQ kids in a stable and happy family then they need to be green-shirted so that they can get the instruction and socialization for which they are ready.

I have never seen a green-shirted kid do poorly as most of them are high achievers.

The red-shirted kids on the other hand are perpetually behind, insecure and odd.

I've watched these threads for years, and I've always wondered just who exactly these anti-redshirters are. They exist in an imaginary reality, they can't do basic math, they can't read statistics or studies, they are viciously mean, wildly socially awkward, and with clearly strained and challenged family relationships.

And then I realized: they are exactly what they accuse redshirted children (children!) of being. They are like much of Qanon, actually fighting the demons in the mirror.

It's sad. They deserve compassion.

I’m a NP, haven’t said anything in this debate yet. But here I am, the parent of a (gasp!) a kid who skipped a grade. Both parents are Very well educated, happily married and employed, our family is well adjusted, social and stable. We read the “studies” that are listed here. I don’t live in an imaginary reality, I’m not mean or socially awkward. But, My kid is wackadoodle smart and it was the right thing to do.

I have friends who redshirted, lots actually, and never once made a big deal about this. When it comes up, I just say “X is young for their grade.” The only place I see this kind of vitriol is on DCUM

Every kid is different and every parent does what they think is right for their kid. Period.

The post above is describing DCUM anti-redshirters. You aren't anti-redshirt if you actually believe the bolded, so it doesn't apply to you. DCUM anti-redshirt posters can't see nuance like the bolded.

Correct, I am not anti-redshirt. I just hope that someone reads this post and sees that not every parent who has a “young” kid in their grade is some kind of monster. We really aren’t.

[Anonymous]

I'm not anti-redshirt, but I know a kid who was redshirted solely because of sports and I think that's wrong. The same family is upset that they couldn't send their girl early, but they held back their May birthday boy a whole year because they said he's too short. He is 99th% for height and a full head taller than the other kindergarteners.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:At that point they will green-shirt.

I can't understand parents who green-shirt. It's almost as if they want their kid to do less well.

Not if the kid is advanced socially, academically, emotionally, mentally and physically. If you have an anxious kid who is struggling with normal social interactions, academics, physical dexterity, mental acuity etc it makes sense to redshirt them. Similarly if you have a high performing, confident, high IQ and EQ kids in a stable and happy family then they need to be green-shirted so that they can get the instruction and socialization for which they are ready.

I have never seen a green-shirted kid do poorly as most of them are high achievers.

The red-shirted kids on the other hand are perpetually behind, insecure and odd.

I've watched these threads for years, and I've always wondered just who exactly these anti-redshirters are. They exist in an imaginary reality, they can't do basic math, they can't read statistics or studies, they are viciously mean, wildly socially awkward, and with clearly strained and challenged family relationships.

And then I realized: they are exactly what they accuse redshirted children (children!) of being. They are like much of Qanon, actually fighting the demons in the mirror.

It's sad. They deserve compassion.

I’m a NP, haven’t said anything in this debate yet. But here I am, the parent of a (gasp!) a kid who skipped a grade. Both parents are Very well educated, happily married and employed, our family is well adjusted, social and stable. We read the “studies” that are listed here. I don’t live in an imaginary reality, I’m not mean or socially awkward. But, My kid is wackadoodle smart and it was the right thing to do.

I have friends who redshirted, lots actually, and never once made a big deal about this. When it comes up, I just say “X is young for their grade.” The only place I see this kind of vitriol is on DCUM

Every kid is different and every parent does what they think is right for their kid. Period.

The post above is describing DCUM anti-redshirters. You aren't anti-redshirt if you actually believe the bolded, so it doesn't apply to you. DCUM anti-redshirt posters can't see nuance like the bolded.

Correct, I am not anti-redshirt. I just hope that someone reads this post and sees that not every parent who has a “young” kid in their grade is some kind of monster. We really aren’t.

Nobody rational thinks that. Relax.

DCUMs antiredshirters are a markedly strange group who aren't rational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But this is not the case. When I think of all people I know who have fall birthdays and are from affluent families, the vast majority started Kindergarten at 4.

How old are these people? If they're adults, then I think the answer is pretty obvious. Scientists didn't make the discovery that older kids do better in school until very recently. That information certainly wouldn't have been around at the time you, your s/o, and your colleagues started school.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:At that point they will green-shirt.

I can't understand parents who green-shirt. It's almost as if they want their kid to do less well.

Not if the kid is advanced socially, academically, emotionally, mentally and physically. If you have an anxious kid who is struggling with normal social interactions, academics, physical dexterity, mental acuity etc it makes sense to redshirt them. Similarly if you have a high performing, confident, high IQ and EQ kids in a stable and happy family then they need to be green-shirted so that they can get the instruction and socialization for which they are ready.

I have never seen a green-shirted kid do poorly as most of them are high achievers.

The red-shirted kids on the other hand are perpetually behind, insecure and odd.

I've watched these threads for years, and I've always wondered just who exactly these anti-redshirters are. They exist in an imaginary reality, they can't do basic math, they can't read statistics or studies, they are viciously mean, wildly socially awkward, and with clearly strained and challenged family relationships.

And then I realized: they are exactly what they accuse redshirted children (children!) of being. They are like much of Qanon, actually fighting the demons in the mirror.

It's sad. They deserve compassion.

I’m a NP, haven’t said anything in this debate yet. But here I am, the parent of a (gasp!) a kid who skipped a grade. Both parents are Very well educated, happily married and employed, our family is well adjusted, social and stable. We read the “studies” that are listed here. I don’t live in an imaginary reality, I’m not mean or socially awkward. But, My kid is wackadoodle smart and it was the right thing to do.

I have friends who redshirted, lots actually, and never once made a big deal about this. When it comes up, I just say “X is young for their grade.” The only place I see this kind of vitriol is on DCUM

Every kid is different and every parent does what they think is right for their kid. Period.

The post above is describing DCUM anti-redshirters. You aren't anti-redshirt if you actually believe the bolded, so it doesn't apply to you. DCUM anti-redshirt posters can't see nuance like the bolded.

Correct, I am not anti-redshirt. I just hope that someone reads this post and sees that not every parent who has a “young” kid in their grade is some kind of monster. We really aren’t.

Nobody rational thinks that. Relax.

DCUMs antiredshirters are a markedly strange group who aren't rational.

There's a 8 year old in my kid's K this year. Are they a double red shirt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At that point they will green-shirt.

I can't understand parents who green-shirt. It's almost as if they want their kid to do less well.

Not if the kid is advanced socially, academically, emotionally, mentally and physically. If you have an anxious kid who is struggling with normal social interactions, academics, physical dexterity, mental acuity etc it makes sense to redshirt them. Similarly if you have a high performing, confident, high IQ and EQ kids in a stable and happy family then they need to be green-shirted so that they can get the instruction and socialization for which they are ready.

I have never seen a green-shirted kid do poorly as most of them are high achievers.

The red-shirted kids on the other hand are perpetually behind, insecure and odd.

I've watched these threads for years, and I've always wondered just who exactly these anti-redshirters are. They exist in an imaginary reality, they can't do basic math, they can't read statistics or studies, they are viciously mean, wildly socially awkward, and with clearly strained and challenged family relationships.

And then I realized: they are exactly what they accuse redshirted children (children!) of being. They are like much of Qanon, actually fighting the demons in the mirror.

It's sad. They deserve compassion.

I’m a NP, haven’t said anything in this debate yet. But here I am, the parent of a (gasp!) a kid who skipped a grade. Both parents are Very well educated, happily married and employed, our family is well adjusted, social and stable. We read the “studies” that are listed here. I don’t live in an imaginary reality, I’m not mean or socially awkward. But, My kid is wackadoodle smart and it was the right thing to do.

I have friends who redshirted, lots actually, and never once made a big deal about this. When it comes up, I just say “X is young for their grade.” The only place I see this kind of vitriol is on DCUM

Every kid is different and every parent does what they think is right for their kid. Period.

The post above is describing DCUM anti-redshirters. You aren't anti-redshirt if you actually believe the bolded, so it doesn't apply to you. DCUM anti-redshirt posters can't see nuance like the bolded.

Correct, I am not anti-redshirt. I just hope that someone reads this post and sees that not every parent who has a “young” kid in their grade is some kind of monster. We really aren’t.

Nobody rational thinks that. Relax.

DCUMs antiredshirters are a markedly strange group who aren't rational.

There's a 8 year old in my kid's K this year. Are they a double red shirt?

Sorry, the troll's lounge is 2 doors down.

[Anonymous]

in moco especially in western moco redshifting is very common

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

Meh I'd rather my kid enter adulthood mature, ready for the next step, and with confidence than launching them too soon. I'll take my chances with the gift of time rather than roll the dice and find out that it would be an uphill battle and struggle by forcing them before they were ready because of an arbitrary cutoff. You only get one chance to get it right. I know people who regret sending the kids on time when they were young and immature, I don't know anyone who regrets redshirting. It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

Let's say they do enter adulthood when they're too immature. In a year's time, they'll have that maturity they had been lacking upon entering adulthood.

[Anonymous]

I redshirted my twins. Both a smart but socially immature. They were premies with an August birthday when they should have at least been September. Given this information, I made the decision. One twin may "skip" a grade but both will probably end up in gifted. They just really needed that extra year to catch up socially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I redshirted my twins. Both a smart but socially immature. They were premies with an August birthday when they should have at least been September. Given this information, I made the decision. One twin may "skip" a grade but both will probably end up in gifted. They just really needed that extra year to catch up socially.

Does it make you proud that they're outperforming kids a year younger than them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I redshirted my twins. Both a smart but socially immature. They were premies with an August birthday when they should have at least been September. Given this information, I made the decision. One twin may "skip" a grade but both will probably end up in gifted. They just really needed that extra year to catch up socially.

Does it make you proud that they're outperforming kids a year younger than them?

You know that 5th year senior quarterback going for the Heisman this year? The coaching staff will be looking for any freshman on opposing teams to exploit.

See - once you are in high school your classmates are not all in your grade, and the extra-curriculars are 9-12. Think the hiring manager at an employer looking at new college grads is going to say “hey this guy is only 20, sure he is obviously less mature and not as comfortable working independently than the other new graduate candidates we are looking at, but shouldn’t we give him a couple years to mature up?

[Anonymous]

It’s not just about being able to sit still on the kindergarten rug. There are long term issues. By later grades the kid can be bored or hit puberty before others, etc. kids should start school on time unless there is an underlying issue. But OP, a Nov bday is not redshirting. Sumner and sometimes late spring bdays are redshirting.