Why is redshirting so rare if it's so advantageous?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

I agree that education isn't a race. You know how you sometimes hear about a 12-or-13-year-old heading off to college? It's the parents of those kids who view education as a race, not the parents of the kids starting college a few weeks shy of their 18th birthdays.

So, if I have a late August vs. late September child/birthday, what exactly is the difference between a month? You may be robbing them of a year of adulthood by forcing them to be kids an extra year when they are 18/adults.

You have only a few years of childhood, it's precious and fleeting, but decades of being an adult. Who needs another year of working, bills, taxes, and stress? Most people given the choice would likely prefer another year of being a carefree child.

Speak for yourself, but I felt embarrassed about still being in "childhood" when most of my peers had moved on to "adulthood".

Get over it. You don't have kids, do you? You just keep trolling these boards wallowing in your despair over the decision your parents made for you decades ago. The vast majority of kids don't turn out like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know some people refuse to believe it, but the older kids end up doing better in school. It's not surprising that people who can swing redshirting do it.

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/08/18/544483397/oldest-kids-in-class-do-better-even-through-college

Yeah, but do these kids really feel satisfied with their victories knowing they had a massive advantage over their competitors? If you won a race on a motorcycle when everyone else was riding bicycles, would you truly be able to feel proud of yourself? I know that I’d much rather do okay in something playing by the rules than excel by cheating.

How is it cheating when it is explicitly allowed?

It’s only unfair because economically advantaged people can afford an extra year of preschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know some people refuse to believe it, but the older kids end up doing better in school. It's not surprising that people who can swing redshirting do it.

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/08/18/544483397/oldest-kids-in-class-do-better-even-through-college

Yeah, but do these kids really feel satisfied with their victories knowing they had a massive advantage over their competitors? If you won a race on a motorcycle when everyone else was riding bicycles, would you truly be able to feel proud of yourself? I know that I’d much rather do okay in something playing by the rules than excel by cheating.

How is it cheating when it is explicitly allowed?

It’s only unfair because economically advantaged people can afford an extra year of preschool.

But plenty of people who can afford it don't do it. So why do some people get so worked up about the few who do? What are they so mad about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

I agree that education isn't a race. You know how you sometimes hear about a 12-or-13-year-old heading off to college? It's the parents of those kids who view education as a race, not the parents of the kids starting college a few weeks shy of their 18th birthdays.

So, if I have a late August vs. late September child/birthday, what exactly is the difference between a month? You may be robbing them of a year of adulthood by forcing them to be kids an extra year when they are 18/adults.

You have only a few years of childhood, it's precious and fleeting, but decades of being an adult. Who needs another year of working, bills, taxes, and stress? Most people given the choice would likely prefer another year of being a carefree child.

Speak for yourself, but I felt embarrassed about still being in "childhood" when most of my peers had moved on to "adulthood".

The vast majority of kids don't turn out like you.

That's the very reason for my embarrassment. I would be just fine with how I've turned out had I not been part of a group that generally does extremely well. I'd be in good company. But as it is, I am in a group in which I am one of the only people, if not the only person, to not excel. I haven't lived up to the expectations of the group I'm in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

I agree that education isn't a race. You know how you sometimes hear about a 12-or-13-year-old heading off to college? It's the parents of those kids who view education as a race, not the parents of the kids starting college a few weeks shy of their 18th birthdays.

So, if I have a late August vs. late September child/birthday, what exactly is the difference between a month? You may be robbing them of a year of adulthood by forcing them to be kids an extra year when they are 18/adults.

You have only a few years of childhood, it's precious and fleeting, but decades of being an adult. Who needs another year of working, bills, taxes, and stress? Most people given the choice would likely prefer another year of being a carefree child.

Speak for yourself, but I felt embarrassed about still being in "childhood" when most of my peers had moved on to "adulthood".

The vast majority of kids don't turn out like you.

That's the very reason for my embarrassment. I would be just fine with how I've turned out had I not been part of a group that generally does extremely well. I'd be in good company. But as it is, I am in a group in which I am one of the only people, if not the only person, to not excel. I haven't lived up to the expectations of the group I'm in.

Not everyone excels in life. Most people are average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This entire thread is just evidence that parenting has essentially become a competitive sport for some people.

When did “average” and “normal” become so vilified. The numbers don’t lie, the majority of kids (maybe even “gasp” your kid) will fall somewhere in the middle of the pack. For the most part, the superstars were kind of just born that way. The same can be said for the kids who will always struggle in school.

Agee completely

[Anonymous]

So why don't I just have my kid start kindergarten when he's 10? He'll get better grades, so why not.

It's because it's ridiculous. A child who has no physical or mental challenges should not be starting kindergarten when they are 6 years plus 2 months/3 months/4 months/+

A friend of mine redshirted her June birthday son. He is 'excelling' in school and I have to hold my tongue every time she brags about what a genius he appears to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So why don't I just have my kid start kindergarten when he's 10? He'll get better grades, so why not.

Because a child only needs to be held back once in order to be the oldest of their classmates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So why don't I just have my kid start kindergarten when he's 10? He'll get better grades, so why not.

It's because it's ridiculous. A child who has no physical or mental challenges should not be starting kindergarten when they are 6 years plus 2 months/3 months/4 months/+

A friend of mine redshirted her June birthday son. He is 'excelling' in school and I have to hold my tongue every time she brags about what a genius he appears to be.

With 'friends' like you who needs enemies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

I agree that education isn't a race. You know how you sometimes hear about a 12-or-13-year-old heading off to college? It's the parents of those kids who view education as a race, not the parents of the kids starting college a few weeks shy of their 18th birthdays.

So, if I have a late August vs. late September child/birthday, what exactly is the difference between a month? You may be robbing them of a year of adulthood by forcing them to be kids an extra year when they are 18/adults.

You have only a few years of childhood, it's precious and fleeting, but decades of being an adult. Who needs another year of working, bills, taxes, and stress? Most people given the choice would likely prefer another year of being a carefree child.

Speak for yourself, but I felt embarrassed about still being in "childhood" when most of my peers had moved on to "adulthood".

The vast majority of kids don't turn out like you.

That's the very reason for my embarrassment. I would be just fine with how I've turned out had I not been part of a group that generally does extremely well. I'd be in good company. But as it is, I am in a group in which I am one of the only people, if not the only person, to not excel. I haven't lived up to the expectations of the group I'm in.

Wait. You say that other redshirted kids generally excel, and that you are an exception and in fact one of the only people in that group not to be happy with your lot. So then you come here to warn people against redshirting?

Assuming you are sincere, the only way this could be helpful to anyone is if you were to explicitly tell us what qualities you think set you apart from the other redshirted kids who by your words did “extremely well”.

I started out at 4 and it was absolutely a mistake. I can clearly articulate why: I was socially immature, although academically advanced, and my social problems were deeply damaging to my mental health and education in a way that reverberated for years. I would recommend that those with a child who is socially immature and young for grade redshirt.

What would you recommend, given both your poor experience, and your observation that most redshirted kids do extremely well? What set you apart? How can we identify specifically which kids do better starting earlier vs later? Now that would be a useful discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

I agree that education isn't a race. You know how you sometimes hear about a 12-or-13-year-old heading off to college? It's the parents of those kids who view education as a race, not the parents of the kids starting college a few weeks shy of their 18th birthdays.

So, if I have a late August vs. late September child/birthday, what exactly is the difference between a month? You may be robbing them of a year of adulthood by forcing them to be kids an extra year when they are 18/adults.

You have only a few years of childhood, it's precious and fleeting, but decades of being an adult. Who needs another year of working, bills, taxes, and stress? Most people given the choice would likely prefer another year of being a carefree child.

Speak for yourself, but I felt embarrassed about still being in "childhood" when most of my peers had moved on to "adulthood".

The vast majority of kids don't turn out like you.

That's the very reason for my embarrassment. I would be just fine with how I've turned out had I not been part of a group that generally does extremely well. I'd be in good company. But as it is, I am in a group in which I am one of the only people, if not the only person, to not excel. I haven't lived up to the expectations of the group I'm in.

Wait. You say that other redshirted kids generally excel, and that you are an exception and in fact one of the only people in that group not to be happy with your lot. So then you come here to warn people against redshirting?

Assuming you are sincere, the only way this could be helpful to anyone is if you were to explicitly tell us what qualities you think set you apart from the other redshirted kids who by your words did “extremely well”.

I started out at 4 and it was absolutely a mistake. I can clearly articulate why: I was socially immature, although academically advanced, and my social problems were deeply damaging to my mental health and education in a way that reverberated for years. I would recommend that those with a child who is socially immature and young for grade redshirt.

What would you recommend, given both your poor experience, and your observation that most redshirted kids do extremely well? What set you apart? How can we identify specifically which kids do better starting earlier vs later? Now that would be a useful discussion.

What I'm saying is that it's far more embarrassing to do poorly when you're in a group that generally does well than it is to do poorly when you're in a group that generally does poorly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

I agree that education isn't a race. You know how you sometimes hear about a 12-or-13-year-old heading off to college? It's the parents of those kids who view education as a race, not the parents of the kids starting college a few weeks shy of their 18th birthdays.

So, if I have a late August vs. late September child/birthday, what exactly is the difference between a month? You may be robbing them of a year of adulthood by forcing them to be kids an extra year when they are 18/adults.

You have only a few years of childhood, it's precious and fleeting, but decades of being an adult. Who needs another year of working, bills, taxes, and stress? Most people given the choice would likely prefer another year of being a carefree child.

Speak for yourself, but I felt embarrassed about still being in "childhood" when most of my peers had moved on to "adulthood".

The vast majority of kids don't turn out like you.

That's the very reason for my embarrassment. I would be just fine with how I've turned out had I not been part of a group that generally does extremely well. I'd be in good company. But as it is, I am in a group in which I am one of the only people, if not the only person, to not excel. I haven't lived up to the expectations of the group I'm in.

Wait. You say that other redshirted kids generally excel, and that you are an exception and in fact one of the only people in that group not to be happy with your lot. So then you come here to warn people against redshirting?

Assuming you are sincere, the only way this could be helpful to anyone is if you were to explicitly tell us what qualities you think set you apart from the other redshirted kids who by your words did “extremely well”.

I started out at 4 and it was absolutely a mistake. I can clearly articulate why: I was socially immature, although academically advanced, and my social problems were deeply damaging to my mental health and education in a way that reverberated for years. I would recommend that those with a child who is socially immature and young for grade redshirt.

What would you recommend, given both your poor experience, and your observation that most redshirted kids do extremely well? What set you apart? How can we identify specifically which kids do better starting earlier vs later? Now that would be a useful discussion.

What I'm saying is that it's far more embarrassing to do poorly when you're in a group that generally does well than it is to do poorly when you're in a group that generally does poorly.

How did redshirting make you do poorly? Isn't the lesson with redshirting that the outcome is pretty much the same either way? But for redshirting you were going to be great? Come on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

I agree that education isn't a race. You know how you sometimes hear about a 12-or-13-year-old heading off to college? It's the parents of those kids who view education as a race, not the parents of the kids starting college a few weeks shy of their 18th birthdays.

So, if I have a late August vs. late September child/birthday, what exactly is the difference between a month? You may be robbing them of a year of adulthood by forcing them to be kids an extra year when they are 18/adults.

You have only a few years of childhood, it's precious and fleeting, but decades of being an adult. Who needs another year of working, bills, taxes, and stress? Most people given the choice would likely prefer another year of being a carefree child.

Speak for yourself, but I felt embarrassed about still being in "childhood" when most of my peers had moved on to "adulthood".

The vast majority of kids don't turn out like you.

That's the very reason for my embarrassment. I would be just fine with how I've turned out had I not been part of a group that generally does extremely well. I'd be in good company. But as it is, I am in a group in which I am one of the only people, if not the only person, to not excel. I haven't lived up to the expectations of the group I'm in.

Wait. You say that other redshirted kids generally excel, and that you are an exception and in fact one of the only people in that group not to be happy with your lot. So then you come here to warn people against redshirting?

Assuming you are sincere, the only way this could be helpful to anyone is if you were to explicitly tell us what qualities you think set you apart from the other redshirted kids who by your words did “extremely well”.

I started out at 4 and it was absolutely a mistake. I can clearly articulate why: I was socially immature, although academically advanced, and my social problems were deeply damaging to my mental health and education in a way that reverberated for years. I would recommend that those with a child who is socially immature and young for grade redshirt.

What would you recommend, given both your poor experience, and your observation that most redshirted kids do extremely well? What set you apart? How can we identify specifically which kids do better starting earlier vs later? Now that would be a useful discussion.

What I'm saying is that it's far more embarrassing to do poorly when you're in a group that generally does well than it is to do poorly when you're in a group that generally does poorly.

How did redshirting make you do poorly? Isn't the lesson with redshirting that the outcome is pretty much the same either way? But for redshirting you were going to be great? Come on.

Since redshirted kids generally do well, it's more embarrassing for someone who was redshirted to do poorly than for someone who wasn't redshirted to do poorly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m redshirting my July daughter

Ditto. She's 4 and my youngest child and she's not happy about that. She's always the youngest in the class too and she's more immature. Another year of childhood seems like a great gift to give her.

She isn't less mature. You are not comparing her to her actual peers and kids a year younger. You are doing it for her, not you. You aren't giving her an extra year of childhood. You are taking away a year of being an adult and forcing them to continue being a child.

It's not robbing them of a year of adulthood, it's making sure they are as ready and a prepared as they can be to get the most out of their education. It's not a race.

I agree that education isn't a race. You know how you sometimes hear about a 12-or-13-year-old heading off to college? It's the parents of those kids who view education as a race, not the parents of the kids starting college a few weeks shy of their 18th birthdays.

So, if I have a late August vs. late September child/birthday, what exactly is the difference between a month? You may be robbing them of a year of adulthood by forcing them to be kids an extra year when they are 18/adults.

You have only a few years of childhood, it's precious and fleeting, but decades of being an adult. Who needs another year of working, bills, taxes, and stress? Most people given the choice would likely prefer another year of being a carefree child.

Speak for yourself, but I felt embarrassed about still being in "childhood" when most of my peers had moved on to "adulthood".

The vast majority of kids don't turn out like you.

That's the very reason for my embarrassment. I would be just fine with how I've turned out had I not been part of a group that generally does extremely well. I'd be in good company. But as it is, I am in a group in which I am one of the only people, if not the only person, to not excel. I haven't lived up to the expectations of the group I'm in.

Wait. You say that other redshirted kids generally excel, and that you are an exception and in fact one of the only people in that group not to be happy with your lot. So then you come here to warn people against redshirting?

Assuming you are sincere, the only way this could be helpful to anyone is if you were to explicitly tell us what qualities you think set you apart from the other redshirted kids who by your words did “extremely well”.

I started out at 4 and it was absolutely a mistake. I can clearly articulate why: I was socially immature, although academically advanced, and my social problems were deeply damaging to my mental health and education in a way that reverberated for years. I would recommend that those with a child who is socially immature and young for grade redshirt.

What would you recommend, given both your poor experience, and your observation that most redshirted kids do extremely well? What set you apart? How can we identify specifically which kids do better starting earlier vs later? Now that would be a useful discussion.

What I'm saying is that it's far more embarrassing to do poorly when you're in a group that generally does well than it is to do poorly when you're in a group that generally does poorly.

How did redshirting make you do poorly? Isn't the lesson with redshirting that the outcome is pretty much the same either way? But for redshirting you were going to be great? Come on.

Since redshirted kids generally do well, it's more embarrassing for someone who was redshirted to do poorly than for someone who wasn't redshirted to do poorly.

But who even knows? I have no idea what year most people graduated from high school let alone what age they were. Most people graduate from high school and get on with their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At that point they will green-shirt.

I can't understand parents who green-shirt. It's almost as if they want their kid to do less well.

Not if the kid is advanced socially, academically, emotionally, mentally and physically. If you have an anxious kid who is struggling with normal social interactions, academics, physical dexterity, mental acuity etc it makes sense to redshirt them. Similarly if you have a high performing, confident, high IQ and EQ kids in a stable and happy family then they need to be green-shirted so that they can get the instruction and socialization for which they are ready.

I have never seen a green-shirted kid do poorly as most of them are high achievers.

The red-shirted kids on the other hand are perpetually behind, insecure and odd.

I've watched these threads for years, and I've always wondered just who exactly these anti-redshirters are. They exist in an imaginary reality, they can't do basic math, they can't read statistics or studies, they are viciously mean, wildly socially awkward, and with clearly strained and challenged family relationships.

And then I realized: they are exactly what they accuse redshirted children (children!) of being. They are like much of Qanon, actually fighting the demons in the mirror.

It's sad. They deserve compassion.

I’m a NP, haven’t said anything in this debate yet. But here I am, the parent of a (gasp!) a kid who skipped a grade. Both parents are Very well educated, happily married and employed, our family is well adjusted, social and stable. We read the “studies” that are listed here. I don’t live in an imaginary reality, I’m not mean or socially awkward. But, My kid is wackadoodle smart and it was the right thing to do.

I have friends who redshirted, lots actually, and never once made a big deal about this. When it comes up, I just say “X is young for their grade.” The only place I see this kind of vitriol is on DCUM

Every kid is different and every parent does what they think is right for their kid. Period.

The post above is describing DCUM anti-redshirters. You aren't anti-redshirt if you actually believe the bolded, so it doesn't apply to you. DCUM anti-redshirt posters can't see nuance like the bolded.