How's basis going so far?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ I meant EXACTLY what I wrote about black on white bullying (my word, btw, not DC's). It is not horseplay when a student repeatedly threatens to harm a much smaller classmate. I'm so tired of the "horseplay" claim by the parents who allow their children to consume too much violent media -- in the adult world, this would not be considered horseplay, it would be a form of assault or harrassment.

Ok, if that's what you meant then a parent should do what they feel is right to have the bullying stopped just make sure you have the whole story. I do know that bullying does in fact exist and I'm not saying that real bullying is or isn't going on at the school. What I am saying is that word has been thrown around too loosely and I am a black parent! There can be a lot to say about a lot of the kids there all you have to do is stand outside!!! Look at the many girls dressed as if they are going to a club and not school. SOMEBODY let them out the house like that and then look at how the boys respond. I personally know of children that have been accused of being bullies who are not or have never been bullies in previous schools but the freedom there is so overwhelming for the kids that some are handeling it better than others and that will eventually balence out but if you are insisting that you are the parent of someone or know a child that IS being bullied then you and that child needs to tell because telling goes a LOOONNGG way at Basis and I have seen children being punished for something simple as yelling in the hallway so I'm sure that REAL bullying wont go unnoticed or unpunished unless that's not the REAL whole story! Just saying....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10:04 - No matter what others say, I'm glad you posted. I am a high SES AA parent that is considering Basis for my DC. Frankly, the posters had about scared me off, especially those coming from other AA parents that express the opinion that they MUST have certain percentages of white students in the class in order for the school to be credible. The post from white/Asian parents do not concern me as much because I expect them and have also been preparing my DC for:

"Another point is some of the sneaky passive aggressive students are getting other kids in trouble by harassing some of the children and when the harassed child retalliates, THAT child is the one getting in trouble!"

Thank God I have an extremely well-behaved DC so this behavior has been a valuable learning tool for us. I use it to point out that no matter what the other child does; it will be my DC's behavior that is noticed and corrected. He even had a child in 3rd grade lie on him to get him in trouble but while they were waiting in the principal's office he remembered my words of advice that he could only control his actions and not the actions of others and so he apologized to the other kid for HIS behavior. The other child then told the principal the truth when they were called in; most children at that age have not internalized truly deceitful behavior and will lean towards being fair when they have time to be thoughtful. He has experienced multiple instances of mistaken identity which white students were eager to report "just because" which because of his age and my husband's propensity to drop him off 5 minutes before school starts were easily refuted. His confusion as to "why are they trying to get me trouble Mommy?" pulls at my heart but I view it as learning life's lessons as to how this country operates.

That said, I view the behavior in quotes above as a godsend. When my son is an adolescent or young adult and he is suspicious or knows of bad behavior by others or any race or SES; I am more confident that he will exit the situation or get as far away from it as possible and will report it under certain conditions. He has learned early that when he is with white kids; it is his behavior that is remembered and commented on. I love it! It is preparation that I could not pay for and I feel comfortable that as soon as a police officer pulls him over for walking or driving while black; his response will automatically be "Yes Sir" and he will be unfailingly polite no matter the treatment. I will be able to rest easy when he is not home.

I hope if we decide to apply and attend that we will meet other families like yours. I want my child to befriend low SES AA moral hard working kids. When I grew up in Washington, high SES and low SES AA parents seemed to have more contact. My low SES friends went to Church regularly; I didn't. They worked harder in school rather than breeze by because of their foundation which I and my high SES friends were prone to do. They recognized and constantly sought out opportunities to better themselves. Even today, I have friends whose high SES High School Senior boys talk about wanting a part-time job where their low SES friends have pestered Ward 3 retail establishments to death for over a year until they were offered a position. These qualities don't disappear.

I know that my child's low SES AA friends will be successful at Basis because it is in "our" interest that they are so and I will do everything in my power to ensure that success. I truly appreciate the qualities and insights that are their strengths which aren't easily duplicated in high SES families unless you are like the Koch's or Ted Turner's parents.

Bottom line- don't be discouraged. Keep your child focused on "his" agenda and don't let him be distracted by other agendas. Remind your child to stay on that yellow brick road and try and free himself from the distractions to pull him off no matter where they come from. Keep your eye on the prize. It's not where you start; it's where you finish. You also need to develop teflon to free yourself from these distractions. You don't have the time or energy to keep your DC motivated and achieving in spite of if you are using your energy trying to make things right. Life isn't fair; you have to accept it and keep moving forward.

Well put but no you don't have to accept it. Acceptance is an enabler, just sit back and "stay in our place" attitude is exactly why parents are on this blog being defensive and feeling like they have to speak out. It's commendable how you are raising your son and hopefully that takes him far however every parenting technique is different and not one is guaranteed since every child is different and responds to situations differently. My child is well behaved to however my child has also succumbed to peer pressure at times which many of us have in our childhood and sometimes adult hood. I'm just glad my child gets to experience this "political" life's lesson from being in such a diverse school and hopefully take away some useful academic knowledge as well. I chose Basis because I thought it would be a good academic fit for my child based on his previous academic performance. It's a reality check to see how many prejudices many of these bloggers that consider themselves high/SES have (not all, MANY) so I HAD to speak out and also make other parents aware of what was being said so that they too may speak out so that these discussions were not so one sided. And just for a side note: some of those so called high/SES are jus a paycheck away from being considered low/SES as well if they aren't already! This I PERSONALLY know!!!!! Come on y'all, DC ain't but so big.....everyone knows everyone that knows SOMEBODY.......so don't be so quick to judge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does everyone assume that all low SES children have bad attitudes and don't have manners? Stop stereotyping

Why? Because they are far more likely to be in a bad environment. More single parents, more unemployed, neighborhoods filled with drugs, violence, gangs and high crime, and so on. Lots of bad behavior. Children model after what they are surrounded with.

The more I read these post the better I feel about this: the one thing that I agreed with is that children do model what they are surrounded with. With that said, during the school year, children spend a significant amount in school. Normally more awake time at school 5 days a week than at home which also account for HALF of their "surroundings". Being fortunate enought to financially place your child in a more "upscale" environment is just THAT and nothing more! We don't k is what goes on inside your home, it just probably "looks" nice from the outside and we ALL know about things that appear nice "LOOKING" right? Hahaha, most times adversity is the main ingredient in the recipie for success so while you and you "walking distance" child are living in your big home, with your downtown DC zip code, silver spoon, big bank account, elite social status and happy life.....however do you find the time to be bothered with such little things like this blog? And while you hide behind "Anonymous" to say what you REALLY want to say, why aren't you somewhere shopping and enjoying your life? You probably miserable as shit and have nothing else better to do than talk about the less fortunate to make yourself feel better!! One thing I DO KNOW.....I bet you wouldn't step your ass in one of those "punk ass", "low class", hood neighborhoods and talk that same shit you talking here THERE now would you? And another thing I know is if your child has the same ideas YOU have and come out their mouths like YOU and you sent them to a school like Basis, your child would have a soft PUNK ASS before the end of the school year! So please do us a favor and stay in your lane cause one thing about your little "status" is that it can be achieved by ANYONE who wants it. You don't hold the damn secret of LIFE!

[Anonymous]

15:29 be threatening and have angry outbursts much?

[Anonymous]

What exactly is a "soft PUNK ASS"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:15:29 be threatening and have angry outbursts much?

That wasent an angry outburst! I was responding to a very negative post made by another parent I just didn't quote the whole thread. It went something like low/income children have bad manners, are poor, can't learn and have poor home examples. I can say the same for those high income, high/SES parents who's children are allowed to roam free at home with little or no home supervision. The ones that tell their parent to shut up, answer back their parents with "What!?" Instead of "Yes?" (By the way, in a low/SES status household...."What?" Will get you popped in the mouth and is so disrespectful!"), going home to a big house with a bar and getting drunk, having teen sex but just being able to have you parents "deal with it" simply because you can afford the abortion with you "high class" money, and I can go on and on and on! I'm just sick of reading these posts with these people and their "high class" opinions like their kids don't go to school telling their home "high class" buisness like any other kid does. And it's evident that some of those "high class" kids are being ignored. Know what the give away is? Their parents don't talk to them so their "high class" parents with their degrees, credentials, and good smarts think that other parents don't talks to their kids either! One thing about that, the "low/SES" might not like to talk to the Law or be Mr. Run Tell That but we sure do talk to our Mammas, Daddys, Aunties, Cousins and friends when we get around the "hood" and we know ALL y'all's secrets and all y'all's problems! So stop pointing out all the problems with certain classes and cultures cause we all have something, they just come dressed in different styles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is a "soft PUNK ASS"?

So on page 3 or 4 of these posts, someone made several comments about the "punk ass" low/SES kids and I'm assuming the person was refering to that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is a "soft PUNK ASS"?

So on page 3 or 4 of these posts, someone made several comments about the "punk ass" low/SES kids and I'm assuming the person was refering to that!

So that I'm clear, a white kid is a "soft punk ass" as opposed to the black kids who are just "punk ass"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is a "soft PUNK ASS"?

So on page 3 or 4 of these posts, someone made several comments about the "punk ass" low/SES kids and I'm assuming the person was refering to that!

So that I'm clear, a white kid is a "soft punk ass" as opposed to the black kids who are just "punk ass"?

So the person posted that the black kids were "punk ass". In the Black community we have a saying that says "a hard head makes for a soft ass". So in the event, to that the parent who referred to the Black kids as "punk ass", If their child has the same ideas and mouth as their parent, the child runs the risk of saying the wrong thing to the right child and getting that "ass" beat therefore resulting an a "soft ass" or in his case a "soft punk ass".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: There can be a lot to say about a lot of the kids there all you have to do is stand outside!!! Look at the many girls dressed as if they are going to a club and not school. SOMEBODY let them out the house like that and then look at how the boys respond.

Wait, isn't "very homosexual behavior" the problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: There can be a lot to say about a lot of the kids there all you have to do is stand outside!!! Look at the many girls dressed as if they are going to a club and not school. SOMEBODY let them out the house like that and then look at how the boys respond.

Wait, isn't "very homosexual behavior" the problem?

It's not "the" problem but it is A problem.

[Anonymous]

You have nothing to say, but attack grammar. Your such a winner!

[Anonymous]

All very entertaining. "Low SES know all y'all's secrets and all y'all's problems"- How's that? coming over to visit then go home and gossip? Friend shares secrets, go home and tell your family? I don't see how this helps anything. Does it make you feel better to draw these distinctions, put up these fences?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All very entertaining. "Low SES know all y'all's secrets and all y'all's problems"- How's that? coming over to visit then go home and gossip? Friend shares secrets, go home and tell your family? I don't see how this helps anything. Does it make you feel better to draw these distinctions, put up these fences?

Look if what I'm saying doesn't apply to you then good for you. It's ok for you high/SES parents to go about these post and write what you feel your entitled to write based off of pure assumption and continue to make accusations of how the low/SES children are bad and unable to handle the academic work load of certain schools based on bias statistics. Not everyone that is considered poor is stupid but as soon as someone speaks out or responds to YOUR initial posts, you want to turn it around. PLAEESE, this further stamps my observations and I feel for my kids that they have to go to school with your children because I here these stories all the time. So say what you want but just like numbers, these posts don't lie so check the threads from the beginning. It started out saying "How is Basis so far?". Most of the parents that answered were saying all sorts of things about the low/SES AA and how no one would want to send their child to a school with a majority AA graduating class! Then the Boosters came into play and it was FINE as long as the responses were politically correct but when the responses got real, that's when the problems started and since I'm telling the truth and not ranting, say what you want. You just mad that my words are worth more weight than those empty, shallow concerns... I was simply pointing out the flaws that are associated with many high/SES familys the same way other poster's were trying to post about low/SES only my examples probably hit a litter closer to home than those bias ones. Again, I'm not saying all high/SES just those writing these posts. FYI, the other difference is I would love to have this "behind the scene" discussion in an open forum so we could put faces to names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have nothing to say, but attack grammar. Your such a winner!

Again, proof that a degree has ABSOLUTLY nothing to do with intelligence. I wasent correcting grammar, I was correcting the fact that you said "the" problem. That wasent a grammatical error. "The problem" made it seem as if it were the only problem and its not. It's "a" problem meaning, along with some other ones. Gawt Damn people...