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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]10:04 - No matter what others say, I'm glad you posted.  I am a high SES AA parent that is considering Basis for my DC.  Frankly, the posters had about scared me off, especially those coming from other AA parents that express the opinion that they MUST have certain percentages of white students in the class in order for the school to be credible.  The post from white/Asian parents do not concern me as much because I expect them and have also been preparing my DC for:

"Another point is some of the sneaky passive aggressive students are getting other kids in trouble by harassing some of the children and when the harassed child retalliates, THAT child is the one getting in trouble!"

Thank God I have an extremely well-behaved DC so this behavior has been a valuable learning tool for us.  I use it to point out that no matter what the other child does; it will be my DC's behavior that is noticed and corrected.  He even had a child in 3rd grade lie on him to get him in trouble but while they were waiting in the principal's office he remembered my words of advice that he could only control his actions and not the actions of others and so he apologized to the other kid for HIS behavior.  The other child then told the principal the truth when they were called in; most children at that age have not internalized truly deceitful behavior and will lean towards being fair when they have time to be thoughtful.  He has experienced multiple instances of mistaken identity which white students were eager to report "just because" which because of his age and my husband's propensity to drop him off 5 minutes before school starts were easily refuted.  His confusion as to "why are they trying to get me trouble Mommy?" pulls at my heart but I view it as learning life's lessons as to how this country operates.

That said,  I view the behavior in quotes above as a godsend.  When my son is an adolescent or young adult and he is suspicious or knows of bad behavior by others or any race or SES; I am more confident that he will exit the situation or get as far away from it as possible and will report it under certain conditions.  He has learned early that when he is with white kids; it is his behavior that is remembered and commented on.  I love it!  It is preparation that I could not pay for and I feel comfortable that as soon as a police officer pulls him over for walking or driving while black; his response will automatically be "Yes Sir" and he will be unfailingly polite no matter the treatment.  I will be able to rest easy when he is not home.

I hope if we decide to apply and attend that we will meet other families like yours.  I want my child to befriend low SES AA moral hard working kids.  When I grew up in Washington, high SES and low SES AA parents seemed to have more contact.  My low SES friends went to Church regularly; I didn't.  They worked harder in school rather than breeze by because of their foundation which I and my high SES friends were prone to do.  They recognized and constantly sought out opportunities to better themselves.  Even today, I have friends whose high SES High School Senior boys talk about wanting a part-time job where their low SES friends have pestered Ward 3 retail establishments to death for over a year until they were offered a position.  These qualities don't disappear.

I know that my child's low SES AA friends will be successful at Basis because it is in "our" interest that they are so and I will do everything in my power to ensure that success.  I truly appreciate the qualities and insights that are their strengths which aren't easily duplicated in high SES families unless you are like the Koch's or Ted Turner's parents.

Bottom line- don't be discouraged.  Keep your child focused on "his" agenda and don't let him be distracted by other agendas. Remind your child to stay on that yellow brick road and try and free himself from the distractions to pull him off no matter where they come from.  Keep your eye on the prize. It's not where you start; it's where you finish.  You also need to develop teflon to free yourself from these distractions.  You don't have the time or energy to keep your DC motivated and achieving in spite of if you are using your energy trying to make things right.  Life isn't fair; you have to accept it and keep moving forward.

[/quote]

Well put but no you don't have to accept it. Acceptance is an enabler, just sit back and "stay in our place" attitude is exactly why parents are on this blog being defensive and feeling like they have to speak out. It's commendable how you are raising your son and hopefully that takes him far however every parenting technique is different and not one is  guaranteed since every child is different and responds to situations differently. My child is well behaved to however my child has also succumbed to peer pressure at times which many of us have in our childhood and sometimes adult hood. I'm just glad my child gets to experience this "political" life's lesson from being in such a diverse school and hopefully take away some useful academic knowledge as well. I chose Basis because I thought it would be a good academic fit for my child based on his previous academic performance. It's a reality check to see how many prejudices many of these bloggers that consider themselves high/SES have (not all, MANY) so I HAD to speak out and also make other parents aware of what was being said so that they too may speak out so that these discussions were not so one sided. And just for a side note: some of those so called high/SES are jus a paycheck away from being considered low/SES as well if they aren't already! This I PERSONALLY know!!!!! Come on y'all, DC ain't but so big.....everyone knows everyone that knows SOMEBODY.......so don't be so quick to judge. [/quote]

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