Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022

[Anonymous]

We are on a Christmas rotation with out of state grandparents (multiple sets due to divorces) + COVID so it has been four years since we have been at MIL’s house for Christmas. She bought matching pajamas and tshirts for my kids and their cousins. I think this is dumb but whatever she’s excited and my kids are little and think this is awesome, so we wear the clothes when we are told to do so. SIL can never get it together enough to get her kids into the pjs/shirts at the requested time. They left today and they never wore the clothes so we have no pics. I even packed my kids’ stuff in the diaper bag in case they might be wearing the clothes on off days. I 100% do not care about this except it was obviously something my MIL wanted for a cute pic so I feel bad her daughter is so rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Petty vent- the way my inlaws do dishes drives me insane. They have a two sided sink. One side is full of hot soapy water and the other has dishes drying inside the sink. I'm trying to clear the table. I scrape food into the trash can, but there's no way to rinse off food or goopy sauces because of all the clean dishes in the sink. We also can't wash hands or do anything else because the person cleaning the dishes is there like a linebacker not letting anyone at the sink. I'm really grossed out by clean spoons, pots, and dishes drying in a sink because I think of sinks as germy places. (At my house I lay them out on a clean towel to dry and then when I'm done I dry them and put them away. Clean dishes don't just hang around). Yeah I'm petty

My brother and SIL use one side of the sink for drying dishes too. We visit them for a few days every year. I like to pitch in. So if I see a sink full of dishes, I want to take care of them, and I end up re-washing clean dishes or putting clean dishes in the dishwasher or adding dirty dishes to the clean ones in the sink. I'm sure they're somewhere complaining about how I always mess up their dish system, but it's very confusing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother in law has spent the last 30 minutes trying to decide on pizza toppings.

I absolutely refuse to take individual orders with my ILs anymore when takeout is involved. No kidding, they spend so much time ordering that we’ve had dinner totally ruined on several occasions (elaborate plan only to find out Restaurant A is closed, and by the time Restaurant B order is ready, now it’s an hour wait and the kids have to go to bed.) Nope, they’ve proven too many times they can’t handle ordering.

Now, I let them choose one of 3 restaurants, but I put a timer on it: “The choices are A, B, and C. Let me know by 5:30, otherwise I’m ordering from Restaurant A at 5:30.” Then I order several, family-style meals and don’t take any input. I know what they like and I order more food than we need, but I’m not putting up with their antics anymore.

What is with older people and dragging their feet on dinner decisions as if they completely forgot young kids need to eat at a reasonable hour. I will start asking about dinner plans around 4:30/5 only to be told it’s too early to think about. Okay but my kids go to bed at 7:30, so we can’t just start ordering at 7 pm. And don’t beg me to spend my vacation time and money on flights to visit you because you want to see the kids so badly, but also don’t want to even marginally alter your schedule to accommodate them.

My 28 year old (selfish, spoiled) SIL is like this hahaha. She is the only one who is unmarried and without kids. We picked a restaurant while she was taking a 20-30min shower and had our orders ready. She got out of the shower and we were like “hey Susie! We are ordering from XYZ Mexican place, do you want anything special or just partake in what we are already getting for everyone?” She says oh nice that sounds delicious let me look at the menu. 5 min later we are like “ok Susie you know what you want? We are calling now”. She goes “sorry! Give me like 15 minutes so I can get dressed and finish looking at menu options.”

15 minutes. We all have young kids who have bedtimes, we already have the order logged into the system and are waiting to click “place order” before the dinner rush starts. Not to mention we are treating her because she would never dream of offering to pay. I butted in and said “we are placing the order now actually but if you want something different just call them and order!”

She made a big show of not wanting anything that was ordered (we ordered plenty of food, and a wide variety) and asked her mom, my MIL, to drive her to the grocery store to buy her an alternative dinner (because she doesn’t have a car here, she drove down with her parents).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL is exactly like UNcle Colm from Derry Girls but without the accent. Just drones on and on about something that no one is remotely interested in. Did it today about paint colors that people have in their houses and colors that he has chosen, in his various homes, for various reasons, over the years . “Then we switched to Benjamin Moore Light Grey…. Or was it Everyday Grey? Actually come to think of it…. There wasn’t a Benjamin Moore paint supplier near us in that house. It’s possible it was a shade from Behr. They have many shades of grey as well that all seem quite similar at first glance”

I am not making this up, to the point where as I hit send I’m worried he is going to somehow stumble upon this website and recognize himself

Lol. This one's awesome. Does he have a wife?

I don’t know if he has a wife, but he definitely has a twin: my mother! 😂

My sister and BIL do this. They tell stories and get so caught up in the details that you never hear the actual story. “We left on Wednesday, or was it Tuesday?”. “It was Wednesday because you remember you had your doctor’s apt”. “No, my drs apt was Tuesday?”. “Are you sure, I thought it was Wednesday “. Holy crap, it doesn’t matter what day it was, just tell the f&@?&@$ story!!

PP of the Uncle Colm FIL here and YES! This is what it’s like bht the back and forth about details is just with himself usually. He does have a wife, my MIL, and she doesn’t seem to mine. He doesn’t tell stories to her like this - just to us. At least not in my presence.

My relatives sound like they're in the Theatre of the Absurd! "You mean your niece Elizabeth, with one green eye and one brown eye?". "No! My niece Elizabeth with one brown eye and one green eye!"

They're not quite at Ionesco level, but close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL is exactly like UNcle Colm from Derry Girls but without the accent. Just drones on and on about something that no one is remotely interested in. Did it today about paint colors that people have in their houses and colors that he has chosen, in his various homes, for various reasons, over the years . “Then we switched to Benjamin Moore Light Grey…. Or was it Everyday Grey? Actually come to think of it…. There wasn’t a Benjamin Moore paint supplier near us in that house. It’s possible it was a shade from Behr. They have many shades of grey as well that all seem quite similar at first glance”

I am not making this up, to the point where as I hit send I’m worried he is going to somehow stumble upon this website and recognize himself

Lol. This one's awesome. Does he have a wife?

I don’t know if he has a wife, but he definitely has a twin: my mother! 😂

My sister and BIL do this. They tell stories and get so caught up in the details that you never hear the actual story. “We left on Wednesday, or was it Tuesday?”. “It was Wednesday because you remember you had your doctor’s apt”. “No, my drs apt was Tuesday?”. “Are you sure, I thought it was Wednesday “. Holy crap, it doesn’t matter what day it was, just tell the f&@?&@$ story!!

Oh God. My inlaws did this, except it would explode into angry bitter yelling about whether it was a Tuesday or a Wednesday. And now my husband does this too. It's been fun trying to shut it down in the middle of a fun story amongst friends and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are on a Christmas rotation with out of state grandparents (multiple sets due to divorces) + COVID so it has been four years since we have been at MIL’s house for Christmas. She bought matching pajamas and tshirts for my kids and their cousins. I think this is dumb but whatever she’s excited and my kids are little and think this is awesome, so we wear the clothes when we are told to do so. SIL can never get it together enough to get her kids into the pjs/shirts at the requested time. They left today and they never wore the clothes so we have no pics. I even packed my kids’ stuff in the diaper bag in case they might be wearing the clothes on off days. I 100% do not care about this except it was obviously something my MIL wanted for a cute pic so I feel bad her daughter is so rude.

Oh, is SIL a single parent? Or does your brother-in-law have no arms? Why is her spouse exempt from “getting it together,” hmm?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother in law has spent the last 30 minutes trying to decide on pizza toppings.

I absolutely refuse to take individual orders with my ILs anymore when takeout is involved. No kidding, they spend so much time ordering that we’ve had dinner totally ruined on several occasions (elaborate plan only to find out Restaurant A is closed, and by the time Restaurant B order is ready, now it’s an hour wait and the kids have to go to bed.) Nope, they’ve proven too many times they can’t handle ordering.

Now, I let them choose one of 3 restaurants, but I put a timer on it: “The choices are A, B, and C. Let me know by 5:30, otherwise I’m ordering from Restaurant A at 5:30.” Then I order several, family-style meals and don’t take any input. I know what they like and I order more food than we need, but I’m not putting up with their antics anymore.

What is with older people and dragging their feet on dinner decisions as if they completely forgot young kids need to eat at a reasonable hour. I will start asking about dinner plans around 4:30/5 only to be told it’s too early to think about. Okay but my kids go to bed at 7:30, so we can’t just start ordering at 7 pm. And don’t beg me to spend my vacation time and money on flights to visit you because you want to see the kids so badly, but also don’t want to even marginally alter your schedule to accommodate them.

My 28 year old (selfish, spoiled) SIL is like this hahaha. She is the only one who is unmarried and without kids. We picked a restaurant while she was taking a 20-30min shower and had our orders ready. She got out of the shower and we were like “hey Susie! We are ordering from XYZ Mexican place, do you want anything special or just partake in what we are already getting for everyone?” She says oh nice that sounds delicious let me look at the menu. 5 min later we are like “ok Susie you know what you want? We are calling now”. She goes “sorry! Give me like 15 minutes so I can get dressed and finish looking at menu options.”

15 minutes. We all have young kids who have bedtimes, we already have the order logged into the system and are waiting to click “place order” before the dinner rush starts. Not to mention we are treating her because she would never dream of offering to pay. I butted in and said “we are placing the order now actually but if you want something different just call them and order!”

She made a big show of not wanting anything that was ordered (we ordered plenty of food, and a wide variety) and asked her mom, my MIL, to drive her to the grocery store to buy her an alternative dinner (because she doesn’t have a car here, she drove down with her parents).

I cackled reading this because it sounds so much like my cousin. I had to run to the grocery store to get oranges to make mulled wine. "I'll go with you, I just need to run upstairs and change." 90 minutes, full makeup, hair styled, and TWO outfit changes later (the first one didn't get enough compliments from her mother) we finally leave. Our entire family has been known to change dinner plans because she wasn't in the mood for something, even though the other 12 people were very much in the mood for it. Family parties have been canceled because she was "exhausted from work" (a desk job).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My niece is 8 and nuero-typical (so no reason for this other than her coo coo mom that my brother married). Mom homeschools niece and niece can’t read. I asked Christmas night what the plan was if niece continued to be unable to read since this approach does not appear to be working (like please send the kid to school!) and SIL screamed at me she would raise her kid how she sees fit. The next morning SIL and brother rise at 10am and we cross paths in the hallway on their way to the bathroom. SIL stood there with her eyes closed. I say “good morning” and she replied the sun is too bright and she is going back to bed. I hear from my mom today SIL is saying I argued with her on Xmas night (i think attacked is how she described it) so SIL avoided me the next morning. I realize that SIL standing there with her eyes shut was her version of avoiding me.
This is more of a heinous vent because my 8 year old niece being unschooled is heinous but I appreciate the space to vent.

A tangent, but I get your concern. My SIL homeschooled my nephew until 9 because she said the schools were too bad. He finally learned to read in the third grade when she sent him to school, and he has always been a bit behind.

Homeschooling should be illegal. Nut-job parents raising uneducated and socially ill-equipped children.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I’ve never seen such a group of whiny, elitist Alpha Henrys…ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother in law has spent the last 30 minutes trying to decide on pizza toppings.

I absolutely refuse to take individual orders with my ILs anymore when takeout is involved. No kidding, they spend so much time ordering that we’ve had dinner totally ruined on several occasions (elaborate plan only to find out Restaurant A is closed, and by the time Restaurant B order is ready, now it’s an hour wait and the kids have to go to bed.) Nope, they’ve proven too many times they can’t handle ordering.

Now, I let them choose one of 3 restaurants, but I put a timer on it: “The choices are A, B, and C. Let me know by 5:30, otherwise I’m ordering from Restaurant A at 5:30.” Then I order several, family-style meals and don’t take any input. I know what they like and I order more food than we need, but I’m not putting up with their antics anymore.

What is with older people and dragging their feet on dinner decisions as if they completely forgot young kids need to eat at a reasonable hour. I will start asking about dinner plans around 4:30/5 only to be told it’s too early to think about. Okay but my kids go to bed at 7:30, so we can’t just start ordering at 7 pm. And don’t beg me to spend my vacation time and money on flights to visit you because you want to see the kids so badly, but also don’t want to even marginally alter your schedule to accommodate them.

My 28 year old (selfish, spoiled) SIL is like this hahaha. She is the only one who is unmarried and without kids. We picked a restaurant while she was taking a 20-30min shower and had our orders ready. She got out of the shower and we were like “hey Susie! We are ordering from XYZ Mexican place, do you want anything special or just partake in what we are already getting for everyone?” She says oh nice that sounds delicious let me look at the menu. 5 min later we are like “ok Susie you know what you want? We are calling now”. She goes “sorry! Give me like 15 minutes so I can get dressed and finish looking at menu options.”

15 minutes. We all have young kids who have bedtimes, we already have the order logged into the system and are waiting to click “place order” before the dinner rush starts. Not to mention we are treating her because she would never dream of offering to pay. I butted in and said “we are placing the order now actually but if you want something different just call them and order!”

She made a big show of not wanting anything that was ordered (we ordered plenty of food, and a wide variety) and asked her mom, my MIL, to drive her to the grocery store to buy her an alternative dinner (because she doesn’t have a car here, she drove down with her parents).

I cackled reading this because it sounds so much like my cousin. I had to run to the grocery store to get oranges to make mulled wine. "I'll go with you, I just need to run upstairs and change." 90 minutes, full makeup, hair styled, and TWO outfit changes later (the first one didn't get enough compliments from her mother) we finally leave. Our entire family has been known to change dinner plans because she wasn't in the mood for something, even though the other 12 people were very much in the mood for it. Family parties have been canceled because she was "exhausted from work" (a desk job).

DH’s brother is like this too. Last year we visited with the kids a month after his birthday, so doting MIL insists that we should have a special birthday dinner to celebrate his (non-milestone, a month late) birthday. He insisted we had to go to Very Specific Restaurant.
Fine.
Him: No kids allowed per VSR rules.
Us: Okay, then we can’t make it.
Him: Why not? Just get a sitter?
Us: That doesn’t work for us. We have young kids who are already sleeping in an unfamiliar house and aren’t super comfortable with sitters. Just go out with your parents.
Him: But I already had a birthday dinner with my parents, this was to celebrate with the whole family!
Us: okay, then choose a different restaurant.
Him: No, I really want this Very Specific Restaurant!
Us: Does VSR do carryout?
Him: No.
Us: Okay, what if we got a sitter to come after kids are asleep, and we did dinner at 8:30?
Him: Okay, great!

The day finally arrived and he didn’t have a reservation, and of course he and his parents insisted we all needed to stay indefinitely to wait for a table for 6 on a Saturday night during the holidays. We didn’t get seated until 10pm and everyone was annoyed that we kept ruining the fun by trying to suggest that we try to eat quickly and not order tons of apps and desserts and do coffee after dinner. Meanwhile we are paying a sitter, praying our kids don’t wake up in a strange house alone with a random teen and freak out and cringing at the reality that our kids will be up at 6:30 no matter how late we stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother in law has spent the last 30 minutes trying to decide on pizza toppings.

I absolutely refuse to take individual orders with my ILs anymore when takeout is involved. No kidding, they spend so much time ordering that we’ve had dinner totally ruined on several occasions (elaborate plan only to find out Restaurant A is closed, and by the time Restaurant B order is ready, now it’s an hour wait and the kids have to go to bed.) Nope, they’ve proven too many times they can’t handle ordering.

Now, I let them choose one of 3 restaurants, but I put a timer on it: “The choices are A, B, and C. Let me know by 5:30, otherwise I’m ordering from Restaurant A at 5:30.” Then I order several, family-style meals and don’t take any input. I know what they like and I order more food than we need, but I’m not putting up with their antics anymore.

What is with older people and dragging their feet on dinner decisions as if they completely forgot young kids need to eat at a reasonable hour. I will start asking about dinner plans around 4:30/5 only to be told it’s too early to think about. Okay but my kids go to bed at 7:30, so we can’t just start ordering at 7 pm. And don’t beg me to spend my vacation time and money on flights to visit you because you want to see the kids so badly, but also don’t want to even marginally alter your schedule to accommodate them.

My 28 year old (selfish, spoiled) SIL is like this hahaha. She is the only one who is unmarried and without kids. We picked a restaurant while she was taking a 20-30min shower and had our orders ready. She got out of the shower and we were like “hey Susie! We are ordering from XYZ Mexican place, do you want anything special or just partake in what we are already getting for everyone?” She says oh nice that sounds delicious let me look at the menu. 5 min later we are like “ok Susie you know what you want? We are calling now”. She goes “sorry! Give me like 15 minutes so I can get dressed and finish looking at menu options.”

15 minutes. We all have young kids who have bedtimes, we already have the order logged into the system and are waiting to click “place order” before the dinner rush starts. Not to mention we are treating her because she would never dream of offering to pay. I butted in and said “we are placing the order now actually but if you want something different just call them and order!”

She made a big show of not wanting anything that was ordered (we ordered plenty of food, and a wide variety) and asked her mom, my MIL, to drive her to the grocery store to buy her an alternative dinner (because she doesn’t have a car here, she drove down with her parents).

I cackled reading this because it sounds so much like my cousin. I had to run to the grocery store to get oranges to make mulled wine. "I'll go with you, I just need to run upstairs and change." 90 minutes, full makeup, hair styled, and TWO outfit changes later (the first one didn't get enough compliments from her mother) we finally leave. Our entire family has been known to change dinner plans because she wasn't in the mood for something, even though the other 12 people were very much in the mood for it. Family parties have been canceled because she was "exhausted from work" (a desk job).

DH’s brother is like this too. Last year we visited with the kids a month after his birthday, so doting MIL insists that we should have a special birthday dinner to celebrate his (non-milestone, a month late) birthday. He insisted we had to go to Very Specific Restaurant.
Fine.
Him: No kids allowed per VSR rules.
Us: Okay, then we can’t make it.
Him: Why not? Just get a sitter?
Us: That doesn’t work for us. We have young kids who are already sleeping in an unfamiliar house and aren’t super comfortable with sitters. Just go out with your parents.
Him: But I already had a birthday dinner with my parents, this was to celebrate with the whole family!
Us: okay, then choose a different restaurant.
Him: No, I really want this Very Specific Restaurant!
Us: Does VSR do carryout?
Him: No.
Us: Okay, what if we got a sitter to come after kids are asleep, and we did dinner at 8:30?
Him: Okay, great!

The day finally arrived and he didn’t have a reservation, and of course he and his parents insisted we all needed to stay indefinitely to wait for a table for 6 on a Saturday night during the holidays. We didn’t get seated until 10pm and everyone was annoyed that we kept ruining the fun by trying to suggest that we try to eat quickly and not order tons of apps and desserts and do coffee after dinner. Meanwhile we are paying a sitter, praying our kids don’t wake up in a strange house alone with a random teen and freak out and cringing at the reality that our kids will be up at 6:30 no matter how late we stay.

Oh hell no!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother in law has spent the last 30 minutes trying to decide on pizza toppings.

I absolutely refuse to take individual orders with my ILs anymore when takeout is involved. No kidding, they spend so much time ordering that we’ve had dinner totally ruined on several occasions (elaborate plan only to find out Restaurant A is closed, and by the time Restaurant B order is ready, now it’s an hour wait and the kids have to go to bed.) Nope, they’ve proven too many times they can’t handle ordering.

Now, I let them choose one of 3 restaurants, but I put a timer on it: “The choices are A, B, and C. Let me know by 5:30, otherwise I’m ordering from Restaurant A at 5:30.” Then I order several, family-style meals and don’t take any input. I know what they like and I order more food than we need, but I’m not putting up with their antics anymore.

What is with older people and dragging their feet on dinner decisions as if they completely forgot young kids need to eat at a reasonable hour. I will start asking about dinner plans around 4:30/5 only to be told it’s too early to think about. Okay but my kids go to bed at 7:30, so we can’t just start ordering at 7 pm. And don’t beg me to spend my vacation time and money on flights to visit you because you want to see the kids so badly, but also don’t want to even marginally alter your schedule to accommodate them.

My 28 year old (selfish, spoiled) SIL is like this hahaha. She is the only one who is unmarried and without kids. We picked a restaurant while she was taking a 20-30min shower and had our orders ready. She got out of the shower and we were like “hey Susie! We are ordering from XYZ Mexican place, do you want anything special or just partake in what we are already getting for everyone?” She says oh nice that sounds delicious let me look at the menu. 5 min later we are like “ok Susie you know what you want? We are calling now”. She goes “sorry! Give me like 15 minutes so I can get dressed and finish looking at menu options.”

15 minutes. We all have young kids who have bedtimes, we already have the order logged into the system and are waiting to click “place order” before the dinner rush starts. Not to mention we are treating her because she would never dream of offering to pay. I butted in and said “we are placing the order now actually but if you want something different just call them and order!”

She made a big show of not wanting anything that was ordered (we ordered plenty of food, and a wide variety) and asked her mom, my MIL, to drive her to the grocery store to buy her an alternative dinner (because she doesn’t have a car here, she drove down with her parents).

I cackled reading this because it sounds so much like my cousin. I had to run to the grocery store to get oranges to make mulled wine. "I'll go with you, I just need to run upstairs and change." 90 minutes, full makeup, hair styled, and TWO outfit changes later (the first one didn't get enough compliments from her mother) we finally leave. Our entire family has been known to change dinner plans because she wasn't in the mood for something, even though the other 12 people were very much in the mood for it. Family parties have been canceled because she was "exhausted from work" (a desk job).

Yes!!! And I’m assuming she wanted to go to the store with you and put her groceries in with your oranges 😂
This same SIL of mine (I’m PP) came to visit us for a week about a year ago and she wanted different food than what we had in our house (no food allergies or anything like that, not diabetic, not vegan). Mind you we have a selection of very normal foods, both healthy and junky. She asks her brother, my husband, to drive her to the grocery to buy some other food. He was like ok fine, what store are you thinking - Giant? Whole Foods? What’s your budget here (or something along those lines that somehow alluded to the fact that she was buying her own groceries, obviously). She balked and was like “you can’t buy them for me?” He was like “no, we have tons of food here and are already treating you to dinners out, is there something going on we don’t know? Why do I need to purchase you your own individual carton of blueberries when we have fruit here?” She was so irritated she didn’t go to the store after all, ate our food (which she was welcome to!) and had her mother take her to the store later that week where she bought s ton of random stuff that she didn’t even eat a third of, like margarine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother in law has spent the last 30 minutes trying to decide on pizza toppings.

I absolutely refuse to take individual orders with my ILs anymore when takeout is involved. No kidding, they spend so much time ordering that we’ve had dinner totally ruined on several occasions (elaborate plan only to find out Restaurant A is closed, and by the time Restaurant B order is ready, now it’s an hour wait and the kids have to go to bed.) Nope, they’ve proven too many times they can’t handle ordering.

Now, I let them choose one of 3 restaurants, but I put a timer on it: “The choices are A, B, and C. Let me know by 5:30, otherwise I’m ordering from Restaurant A at 5:30.” Then I order several, family-style meals and don’t take any input. I know what they like and I order more food than we need, but I’m not putting up with their antics anymore.

What is with older people and dragging their feet on dinner decisions as if they completely forgot young kids need to eat at a reasonable hour. I will start asking about dinner plans around 4:30/5 only to be told it’s too early to think about. Okay but my kids go to bed at 7:30, so we can’t just start ordering at 7 pm. And don’t beg me to spend my vacation time and money on flights to visit you because you want to see the kids so badly, but also don’t want to even marginally alter your schedule to accommodate them.

My 28 year old (selfish, spoiled) SIL is like this hahaha. She is the only one who is unmarried and without kids. We picked a restaurant while she was taking a 20-30min shower and had our orders ready. She got out of the shower and we were like “hey Susie! We are ordering from XYZ Mexican place, do you want anything special or just partake in what we are already getting for everyone?” She says oh nice that sounds delicious let me look at the menu. 5 min later we are like “ok Susie you know what you want? We are calling now”. She goes “sorry! Give me like 15 minutes so I can get dressed and finish looking at menu options.”

15 minutes. We all have young kids who have bedtimes, we already have the order logged into the system and are waiting to click “place order” before the dinner rush starts. Not to mention we are treating her because she would never dream of offering to pay. I butted in and said “we are placing the order now actually but if you want something different just call them and order!”

She made a big show of not wanting anything that was ordered (we ordered plenty of food, and a wide variety) and asked her mom, my MIL, to drive her to the grocery store to buy her an alternative dinner (because she doesn’t have a car here, she drove down with her parents).

I cackled reading this because it sounds so much like my cousin. I had to run to the grocery store to get oranges to make mulled wine. "I'll go with you, I just need to run upstairs and change." 90 minutes, full makeup, hair styled, and TWO outfit changes later (the first one didn't get enough compliments from her mother) we finally leave. Our entire family has been known to change dinner plans because she wasn't in the mood for something, even though the other 12 people were very much in the mood for it. Family parties have been canceled because she was "exhausted from work" (a desk job).

DH’s brother is like this too. Last year we visited with the kids a month after his birthday, so doting MIL insists that we should have a special birthday dinner to celebrate his (non-milestone, a month late) birthday. He insisted we had to go to Very Specific Restaurant.
Fine.
Him: No kids allowed per VSR rules.
Us: Okay, then we can’t make it.
Him: Why not? Just get a sitter?
Us: That doesn’t work for us. We have young kids who are already sleeping in an unfamiliar house and aren’t super comfortable with sitters. Just go out with your parents.
Him: But I already had a birthday dinner with my parents, this was to celebrate with the whole family!
Us: okay, then choose a different restaurant.
Him: No, I really want this Very Specific Restaurant!
Us: Does VSR do carryout?
Him: No.
Us: Okay, what if we got a sitter to come after kids are asleep, and we did dinner at 8:30?
Him: Okay, great!

The day finally arrived and he didn’t have a reservation, and of course he and his parents insisted we all needed to stay indefinitely to wait for a table for 6 on a Saturday night during the holidays. We didn’t get seated until 10pm and everyone was annoyed that we kept ruining the fun by trying to suggest that we try to eat quickly and not order tons of apps and desserts and do coffee after dinner. Meanwhile we are paying a sitter, praying our kids don’t wake up in a strange house alone with a random teen and freak out and cringing at the reality that our kids will be up at 6:30 no matter how late we stay.

I find it so cringe when adults expect to be a special birthday boy on their actual birthday let alone a month later. Outside of your spouse and kids, it’s lame to expect to be celebrated. Caveat is a big milestone, but even then you should be hosting and not expecting to be catered to. (I’ve gone to big 40th birthday parties that were catered). But just stop with the adult birthday celebrations otherwise. You’re turning 38, not 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a super petty, OCD one!

My mom is here for the holidays, she comes for a few weeks every year. She is great, and helps with things like the dishwasher/laundry/etc. great! Well…

My pots and pans stack according to size. They fit neatly in my sliding drawer that way. One on top of the other, next to the stack of mixing bowls and colanders that all nestle together as well.

My mom cannot, for the life of her, put a pot or mixing bowl inside or under another. Every time, she just jams then alongside the others until there is a junkpile of kitchenware, and the drawer can barely close.

This AM I opened it to find she put the very top pot, the smallest one, beside the pots and on the lids instead of nestled in its spot. It’s getting to where I flinch opening the drawer, wondering what new hellscape of disorder awaits me within.

Am I the pettiest? I think so.

I can top that, maybe. When we married, we combined our dishes, so they didn't match. They were similar, just not identical. We just used them together for 12 years although I tended to reach for "mine" first and DH for "his." When MIL came over, she used to rearrange them in the cabinet so that instead of being mixed together they were arranged to match. And she always put the ones from DH on top so I had to remove 6 plates if I wanted to get to mine.

There is no good reason at all this bothered me, and I fully know that, but it did. But obviously I did not say anything because that would have been insane!

Anyway we finally bought all new plates a year ago so no longer have this "issue." But we forgot to tell MIL and then the first time she came over for dinner and saw all the new plates, she was almost speechless with shock.

I don't get why she would be speechless with shock, or why this would be "sticking it" to her?

Same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother in law has spent the last 30 minutes trying to decide on pizza toppings.

Ugh- sorry, PP. Watch, she won’t eat any of it.

She had half a slice, good thing because she didn’t order enough 😂