Cold feet about starting infertility treatments

[Anonymous]

I'm supposed to start infertility treatments next week (my very first IVF). I'm 37 and we've been trying for almost one year with no pregnancy (secondary infertility, got pregnant with our first easily at 35).

I am having major cold feet about starting IVF next week. I have already put this off two months already (was supposed to start in Feb.) Got all the testing done and nothing was found--i.e. unexplained. I have zero support and feel like I cannot do this. Anyone else feel the same and managed to get through it?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Just wanted to add that it's the medications/injections/retrieval that scares me. I have never taken medication (not even for a headache) and the thought of diving right into this with injections terrifies me. Also, I've had surgery twice and it was an awful experience (all due to the anesthesia). I'm terrified of the anesthesia for the retrieval.

[Anonymous]

Please don't put it off. I am 41.5 and in the middle of my first cycle. I put it off 14 months ago, and I also put it off 12 months before that. You can do it. It s not that bad. Once I finally paid the bill, I was super happy. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Pp here, me too about the anesthesia. I get down right crazy. After my egg retrieval it took me a few days to feel normal. We did a freeze all cycle so I was not moving right from that experience into trying an embryo transfer. Ask your doctor about that, maybe.

[Anonymous]

Think about what you are doing this all for. It's short term stress for an amazing addition to your family. You can do it; it's worth it.

[Anonymous]

You can do this. Take it a day at a time. You can stop anytime you want. So many women do it. I would be much more scared of childbirth! Sure treatments aren't pleasant but it's so worth it. I felt the same way.

[Anonymous]

OP, you really just have to weigh the two sides of this equation: How much do you want another baby vs how much do you not want to do IVF? For me, I needed IVF (and ultimately donor eggs) to become a parent at all. So, for me, no amount of discomfort or dislike of the IVF process was going to prevent me from trying for my goal. But, that's me and my situation. Only you can do the calculus for your own situation. You have a child already. How much do you want another child vs the discomfort of IVF? Any answer is legitimate and only your answer matters.

[Anonymous]

If you're unexplained, why aren't they having you start with IUI? Way less meds, no surgery. Most patients don't start right with IVF, and I think IUI eases you into the process (and sometimes works!).

[Anonymous]

OP I too was really scared of the anesthesia. I was really convinced I was going to die. I was crying when I went into the room. But it was totally fine! It even felt good -- like the most restful nap ever. If I have to do another retrieval I might even look forward to that part again.

The shots are a lot, though. But you can pay a nurse to come and give them to you if you need to.

[Anonymous]

I was afraid of all of it, and it was totally no big deal. Go for it. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I also put it off because I was scared of taking medications and injections, and thought I would for sure get pregnant on my own if I tried longer (we were also unexplained). Well, it ended up taking us 1 fresh and 3 FETs to get pregnant. We just saw our babies heartbeat, and I have to say that I am kicking myself for waiting so long. It really isn't as bad as it seems and of course is so worth it.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean no support? What do you expect?

[Anonymous]

I get the cold feet aspect. I definitely delayed treatment by many months and never thought I would move on to IVF but the desire to have a child outweighed everything. I did it and must say the anesthesia/retrieval was my favorite part . The drugs were not that bad and was even able to give myself intermuscular shots for my FET when my husband was out of town. I'm now 30 weeks and feeling my baby move around makes all the stress (and paying out of pocket) worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're unexplained, why aren't they having you start with IUI? Way less meds, no surgery. Most patients don't start right with IVF, and I think IUI eases you into the process (and sometimes works!).

I would argue iui is a waste of time for most women. It simply adds to the cost you'll eventually spend on IVF. Also will take up time you could spend on a treatment with a much better chance of working!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're unexplained, why aren't they having you start with IUI? Way less meds, no surgery. Most patients don't start right with IVF, and I think IUI eases you into the process (and sometimes works!).

I would argue iui is a waste of time for most women. It simply adds to the cost you'll eventually spend on IVF. Also will take up time you could spend on a treatment with a much better chance of working!

+1 We went straight for ivf.