Cold feet about starting infertility treatments

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're unexplained, why aren't they having you start with IUI? Way less meds, no surgery. Most patients don't start right with IVF, and I think IUI eases you into the process (and sometimes works!).

I would argue iui is a waste of time for most women. It simply adds to the cost you'll eventually spend on IVF. Also will take up time you could spend on a treatment with a much better chance of working!

I think this is a lot easier to say when you've already been through IVF. If someone wants to go straight to IVF I think that's a solid strategy. If someone is more comfortable with IUI, that is too. In this particularly case, where the OP is so anxious and there's no evident reason for infertility, IUI might be a better starting point.

Personally, I have been through both and failed at both. In the scheme of things, the three months and ~$1500 I spent on IUI don't bother me, I understand why my doctor thought it was worth trying. It's not for everyone, I realize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean no support? What do you expect?

OP here. No one to talk to really about my emotions/feelings about starting this process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean no support? What do you expect?

OP here. No one to talk to really about my emotions/feelings about starting this process.

Can you talk to your spouse or partner? realize you're also going to have emotions and feelings about pregnancy. There are many things in life that are hard. You need to realize that. Not moving forward because of emotions is silly. You'll also have emotions if you have another health problem but would you refuse medication and surgery to possibly remedy the problem? Don't overthink this. Millions of women have undergone these treatments. You can do it! Just take it a day at a time. Having a shot or two each night really isn't that bad. I found the testing phase to be the worst part but nothing was as bad as I expected it to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're unexplained, why aren't they having you start with IUI? Way less meds, no surgery. Most patients don't start right with IVF, and I think IUI eases you into the process (and sometimes works!).

I would argue iui is a waste of time for most women. It simply adds to the cost you'll eventually spend on IVF. Also will take up time you could spend on a treatment with a much better chance of working!

I think this is a lot easier to say when you've already been through IVF. If someone wants to go straight to IVF I think that's a solid strategy. If someone is more comfortable with IUI, that is too. In this particularly case, where the OP is so anxious and there's no evident reason for infertility, IUI might be a better starting point.

Personally, I have been through both and failed at both. In the scheme of things, the three months and ~$1500 I spent on IUI don't bother me, I understand why my doctor thought it was worth trying. It's not for everyone, I realize.

Actually I think it's wrong how they push iui on so many women and it most likely won't work. It's not cheap and makes them going through IVF even harder. It takes an emotional toll. If you had heart surgery would you want your doctor to have to undergo surgery with a ten percent success rate or closer to 40-60?

[Anonymous]

I felt like you OP and was also unexplained. I decided not to use ART and have never regretted it for a second. Go with your gut. You don't have to do this.

[Anonymous]

OP, I remember your earlier topics. Put on your big girl shoes and make decisions. Whether it means to go through with IVF or to walk away from fertility treatments - it's up to you, you're in the driver's seat.

You can talk to a therapist specialized in fertility issues if you feel your partner does not provide enough moral support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're unexplained, why aren't they having you start with IUI? Way less meds, no surgery. Most patients don't start right with IVF, and I think IUI eases you into the process (and sometimes works!).

I would argue iui is a waste of time for most women. It simply adds to the cost you'll eventually spend on IVF. Also will take up time you could spend on a treatment with a much better chance of working!

I did 6 IUIs and I agree with this. I'd recommend maybe doing 2, since it does work for some women. But not more than that if you are over 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're unexplained, why aren't they having you start with IUI? Way less meds, no surgery. Most patients don't start right with IVF, and I think IUI eases you into the process (and sometimes works!).

I would argue iui is a waste of time for most women. It simply adds to the cost you'll eventually spend on IVF. Also will take up time you could spend on a treatment with a much better chance of working!

Well that's what we thought too. 2 years of TTC, 5 years of sex with no birth control. We got pregnant on the very first IUI. I think I can thank Clomid for that though as they suspected I wasn't ovulating. But I do know that IUI rates aren't great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're unexplained, why aren't they having you start with IUI? Way less meds, no surgery. Most patients don't start right with IVF, and I think IUI eases you into the process (and sometimes works!).

I would argue iui is a waste of time for most women. It simply adds to the cost you'll eventually spend on IVF. Also will take up time you could spend on a treatment with a much better chance of working!

Well that's what we thought too. 2 years of TTC, 5 years of sex with no birth control. We got pregnant on the very first IUI. I think I can thank Clomid for that though as they suspected I wasn't ovulating. But I do know that IUI rates aren't great.

Me again. Don't delay. You can do it I promise!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I remember your earlier topics. Put on your big girl shoes and make decisions. Whether it means to go through with IVF or to walk away from fertility treatments - it's up to you, you're in the driver's seat.

You can talk to a therapist specialized in fertility issues if you feel your partner does not provide enough moral support.

I also remember the OP's earlier posts.

OP, you can do this. You are a grown woman. You can do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I remember your earlier topics. Put on your big girl shoes and make decisions. Whether it means to go through with IVF or to walk away from fertility treatments - it's up to you, you're in the driver's seat.

You can talk to a therapist specialized in fertility issues if you feel your partner does not provide enough moral support.

I also remember the OP's earlier posts.

OP, you can do this. You are a grown woman. You can do it.

Ditto on the above. Just take it one step and shot at a time. You can only be strong and get through it if you don't let the fear paralyze you, or you can step away. The waiting and over analyzing seems like the worst of both worlds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I remember your earlier topics. Put on your big girl shoes and make decisions. Whether it means to go through with IVF or to walk away from fertility treatments - it's up to you, you're in the driver's seat.

You can talk to a therapist specialized in fertility issues if you feel your partner does not provide enough moral support.

You are a grown woman. You can do it.

A grown woman can still be terrified of medical procedures like IVF treatment, especially with no support system.

[Anonymous]

If you are truly unexplained, why not do clomid and monitoring first? Can't hurt and won't eat up much time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I remember your earlier topics. Put on your big girl shoes and make decisions. Whether it means to go through with IVF or to walk away from fertility treatments - it's up to you, you're in the driver's seat.

You can talk to a therapist specialized in fertility issues if you feel your partner does not provide enough moral support.

You are a grown woman. You can do it.

A grown woman can still be terrified of medical procedures like IVF treatment, especially with no support system.

+1. OP also mentioned bad reactions to anesthesia, which is no joke.

OP, there are options out there to get support, but they all require you to be proactive. Therapy, in-person support groups, online groups (not this board, haha), reaching out to friends (their responses might surprise you). During our first IVF, I didn't feel very supported by my husband. I think he was really wrapped up in his own worries. Seeing a therapist helped me in many ways, but one was to help me articulate to him what I needed/wanted from him. We're now doing a much better job communicating and supporting each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I remember your earlier topics. Put on your big girl shoes and make decisions. Whether it means to go through with IVF or to walk away from fertility treatments - it's up to you, you're in the driver's seat.

You can talk to a therapist specialized in fertility issues if you feel your partner does not provide enough moral support.

You are a grown woman. You can do it.

A grown woman can still be terrified of medical procedures like IVF treatment, especially with no support system.

If I have the person right, this OP has rejected the support systems she has been offered and every single suggestion that has been made, so...