Cold feet about starting infertility treatments

[Anonymous]

OP, can you do this in your home country while on vacation? Your family will provide the support you need. Or bring your parents here temporarily?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you do this in your home country while on vacation? Your family will provide the support you need. Or bring your parents here temporarily?

OP here. What do you mean by home country? This is my home country. We just don't have any local family, and family is far away (and unsupportive of infertility treatments so I don't share anything with them).

I do have a therapist which has been helpful but I unfortunately can only see her once a month due to cost.

I have looked into support groups on the Resolve website but there are none near me, it's hard for me to go to evening support groups b/c of childcare issues, I'd need to get a sitter which is difficult and expensive, and the fact that there are none close to me makes it harder to get there on a weeknight.

I have shared our infertility issues with friends, but none have gone through IVF, so while they can listen there's not much in the way of support they can offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you do this in your home country while on vacation? Your family will provide the support you need. Or bring your parents here temporarily?

OP here. What do you mean by home country? This is my home country. We just don't have any local family, and family is far away (and unsupportive of infertility treatments so I don't share anything with them).

I do have a therapist which has been helpful but I unfortunately can only see her once a month due to cost.

I have looked into support groups on the Resolve website but there are none near me, it's hard for me to go to evening support groups b/c of childcare issues, I'd need to get a sitter which is difficult and expensive, and the fact that there are none close to me makes it harder to get there on a weeknight.

I have shared our infertility issues with friends, but none have gone through IVF, so while they can listen there's not much in the way of support they can offer.

What exactly are you looking for by way of support? Most of the people I know have only had "online" support and a DH who is there when he needs to be, gives shots, etc., but is not at most (or any) appointments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you do this in your home country while on vacation? Your family will provide the support you need. Or bring your parents here temporarily?

OP here. What do you mean by home country? This is my home country. We just don't have any local family, and family is far away (and unsupportive of infertility treatments so I don't share anything with them).

I do have a therapist which has been helpful but I unfortunately can only see her once a month due to cost.

I have looked into support groups on the Resolve website but there are none near me, it's hard for me to go to evening support groups b/c of childcare issues, I'd need to get a sitter which is difficult and expensive, and the fact that there are none close to me makes it harder to get there on a weeknight.

I have shared our infertility issues with friends, but none have gone through IVF, so while they can listen there's not much in the way of support they can offer.

What exactly are you looking for by way of support? Most of the people I know have only had "online" support and a DH who is there when he needs to be, gives shots, etc., but is not at most (or any) appointments.

This is true for me as well. We didn't tell any friends or family and were fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you do this in your home country while on vacation? Your family will provide the support you need. Or bring your parents here temporarily?

OP here. What do you mean by home country? This is my home country. We just don't have any local family, and family is far away (and unsupportive of infertility treatments so I don't share anything with them).

I do have a therapist which has been helpful but I unfortunately can only see her once a month due to cost.

I have looked into support groups on the Resolve website but there are none near me, it's hard for me to go to evening support groups b/c of childcare issues, I'd need to get a sitter which is difficult and expensive, and the fact that there are none close to me makes it harder to get there on a weeknight.

I have shared our infertility issues with friends, but none have gone through IVF, so while they can listen there's not much in the way of support they can offer.

What exactly are you looking for by way of support? Most of the people I know have only had "online" support and a DH who is there when he needs to be, gives shots, etc., but is not at most (or any) appointments.

OP here. By support I mean someone to talk through and to empathize with all the emotions/feelings I have about this whole process. I am scared of putting hormones into my body and scared of the side effects, I'm scared of the egg retrieval procedure, I'm anxious about this not working and the time/expense involved, and then what will we do? How many IVFs do we do before we give up and accept our infertility and being one and done? I need someone to talk about all this with, on a daily basis. I can only see my therapist once a month due to cost, my parents are unsupportive, my husband doesn't seem interested in being supportive emotionally. So I feel very alone in an existential sense going through all this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I remember your earlier topics. Put on your big girl shoes and make decisions. Whether it means to go through with IVF or to walk away from fertility treatments - it's up to you, you're in the driver's seat.

You can talk to a therapist specialized in fertility issues if you feel your partner does not provide enough moral support.

You are a grown woman. You can do it.

A grown woman can still be terrified of medical procedures like IVF treatment, especially with no support system.

If I have the person right, this OP has rejected the support systems she has been offered and every single suggestion that has been made, so...

It's definitely the same poster. I don't want to pile on this person who clearly has anxiety issue or something. However, I don't see how posting these things every few weeks or whatever is really helping either. Clearly the responses don't ever help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you do this in your home country while on vacation? Your family will provide the support you need. Or bring your parents here temporarily?

OP here. What do you mean by home country? This is my home country. We just don't have any local family, and family is far away (and unsupportive of infertility treatments so I don't share anything with them).

I do have a therapist which has been helpful but I unfortunately can only see her once a month due to cost.

I have looked into support groups on the Resolve website but there are none near me, it's hard for me to go to evening support groups b/c of childcare issues, I'd need to get a sitter which is difficult and expensive, and the fact that there are none close to me makes it harder to get there on a weeknight.

I have shared our infertility issues with friends, but none have gone through IVF, so while they can listen there's not much in the way of support they can offer.

What exactly are you looking for by way of support? Most of the people I know have only had "online" support and a DH who is there when he needs to be, gives shots, etc., but is not at most (or any) appointments.

OP here. By support I mean someone to talk through and to empathize with all the emotions/feelings I have about this whole process. I am scared of putting hormones into my body and scared of the side effects, I'm scared of the egg retrieval procedure, I'm anxious about this not working and the time/expense involved, and then what will we do? How many IVFs do we do before we give up and accept our infertility and being one and done? I need someone to talk about all this with, on a daily basis. I can only see my therapist once a month due to cost, my parents are unsupportive, my husband doesn't seem interested in being supportive emotionally. So I feel very alone in an existential sense going through all this.

A daily basis might be a bit too big of an ask. I talked to my sister, who was very supportive. She and I talked a few times a month about this topic (more often about other things) and I could always call her if I was having a tough day.

No one is going to be able to support you and talk you through your anxieties daily. If anyone, your spouse would do this. But if that's not your relationship, then rely on a close friend. But not daily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you do this in your home country while on vacation? Your family will provide the support you need. Or bring your parents here temporarily?

OP here. What do you mean by home country? This is my home country. We just don't have any local family, and family is far away (and unsupportive of infertility treatments so I don't share anything with them).

I do have a therapist which has been helpful but I unfortunately can only see her once a month due to cost.

I have looked into support groups on the Resolve website but there are none near me, it's hard for me to go to evening support groups b/c of childcare issues, I'd need to get a sitter which is difficult and expensive, and the fact that there are none close to me makes it harder to get there on a weeknight.

I have shared our infertility issues with friends, but none have gone through IVF, so while they can listen there's not much in the way of support they can offer.

What exactly are you looking for by way of support? Most of the people I know have only had "online" support and a DH who is there when he needs to be, gives shots, etc., but is not at most (or any) appointments.

OP here. By support I mean someone to talk through and to empathize with all the emotions/feelings I have about this whole process. I am scared of putting hormones into my body and scared of the side effects, I'm scared of the egg retrieval procedure, I'm anxious about this not working and the time/expense involved, and then what will we do? How many IVFs do we do before we give up and accept our infertility and being one and done? I need someone to talk about all this with, on a daily basis. I can only see my therapist once a month due to cost, my parents are unsupportive, my husband doesn't seem interested in being supportive emotionally. So I feel very alone in an existential sense going through all this.

Didn't several people on here offer to be a kind ear since you're local? Did you ever reach out to them or set up an e-mail address for this purpose? Did you try to build any online relationships on message boards (which allowed my fragile self to make real-life friends during the IVF process)?

[Anonymous]

Write it all down in a daily journal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Write it all down in a daily journal.

This helped me immensely. I plan to give it to my children when they are pregnant. I got my mom and grandma's baby journals too and they're incredibly interesting.

[Anonymous]

You may actually be confusing the op with me. I also had serious anxiety. However I've since gotten over myself and have stated treatments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You may actually be confusing the op with me. I also had serious anxiety. However I've since gotten over myself and have stated treatments.

How did you get over the anxiety and move forward?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may actually be confusing the op with me. I also had serious anxiety. However I've since gotten over myself and have stated treatments.

How did you get over the anxiety and move forward?

My mom yelled at me. I also realized that I would never forgive myself if I didn't at least try. I also realized I can stop anytime I want. I was also dreading the mock embryo transfer and it didn't end up being a big deal.

I have a feeling that outside of the financial and emotional that pregnancy is a much much bigger deal and there's a lot more to be scared of, especially when it comes to labor and delivery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you do this in your home country while on vacation? Your family will provide the support you need. Or bring your parents here temporarily?

OP here. What do you mean by home country? This is my home country. We just don't have any local family, and family is far away (and unsupportive of infertility treatments so I don't share anything with them).

I do have a therapist which has been helpful but I unfortunately can only see her once a month due to cost.

I have looked into support groups on the Resolve website but there are none near me, it's hard for me to go to evening support groups b/c of childcare issues, I'd need to get a sitter which is difficult and expensive, and the fact that there are none close to me makes it harder to get there on a weeknight.

I have shared our infertility issues with friends, but none have gone through IVF, so while they can listen there's not much in the way of support they can offer.

What exactly are you looking for by way of support? Most of the people I know have only had "online" support and a DH who is there when he needs to be, gives shots, etc., but is not at most (or any) appointments.

How did you manage to go through your first pregnancy, labor, delivery and first couple of months of being a first time mom?
If there is a child in your care who is alive and well then you're a competent adult. I don't get the helpless scared little girl act at all.

OP here. By support I mean someone to talk through and to empathize with all the emotions/feelings I have about this whole process. I am scared of putting hormones into my body and scared of the side effects, I'm scared of the egg retrieval procedure, I'm anxious about this not working and the time/expense involved, and then what will we do? How many IVFs do we do before we give up and accept our infertility and being one and done? I need someone to talk about all this with, on a daily basis. I can only see my therapist once a month due to cost, my parents are unsupportive, my husband doesn't seem interested in being supportive emotionally. So I feel very alone in an existential sense going through all this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you do this in your home country while on vacation? Your family will provide the support you need. Or bring your parents here temporarily?

OP here. What do you mean by home country? This is my home country. We just don't have any local family, and family is far away (and unsupportive of infertility treatments so I don't share anything with them).

I do have a therapist which has been helpful but I unfortunately can only see her once a month due to cost.

I have looked into support groups on the Resolve website but there are none near me, it's hard for me to go to evening support groups b/c of childcare issues, I'd need to get a sitter which is difficult and expensive, and the fact that there are none close to me makes it harder to get there on a weeknight.

I have shared our infertility issues with friends, but none have gone through IVF, so while they can listen there's not much in the way of support they can offer.

What exactly are you looking for by way of support? Most of the people I know have only had "online" support and a DH who is there when he needs to be, gives shots, etc., but is not at most (or any) appointments.

OP here. By support I mean someone to talk through and to empathize with all the emotions/feelings I have about this whole process. I am scared of putting hormones into my body and scared of the side effects, I'm scared of the egg retrieval procedure, I'm anxious about this not working and the time/expense involved, and then what will we do? How many IVFs do we do before we give up and accept our infertility and being one and done? I need someone to talk about all this with, on a daily basis. I can only see my therapist once a month due to cost, my parents are unsupportive, my husband doesn't seem interested in being supportive emotionally. So I feel very alone in an existential sense going through all this.

How did you manage to go through your first pregnancy, labor, delivery and first couple of months of being a first time mom?
If there is a child in your care who is alive and well then you're a competent adult. I don't get the helpless scared little girl act at all.