can I spurn girl who didnt invite dd to her bday?
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Anonymous
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DD is 5.5. There is this girl in her class who had a bday party earlier in the year. DD knew and was quite upset about not being invited to the party, which was pretty fabulous by all accounts. Most of the time in our school the whole class is invited to a birthday party, or at least all kids of the same gender. money/space was not an issue for these guys.. It seems like the girls play together at school and the friend's name comes up fairly often. DD's birthday is approaching and I really would like to not invite this other girl. I think her parents were rude in excluding my kid, and I feel no obligation to have her. DD goes between saying I wont invite her, and I'd like to invite her.
is it childish of me? is it fair? i am leaning towards telling dd, we will only have your friends who have invited you to their birthdays... |
Anonymous
| You are being petty. Don't exclude one girl. |
Anonymous
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Wow- you need a cold shower. You are teaching your dd mean girl behavior. If the PARENTS didn't invite your dd you want to punish their DD? How about being nice and remembering the Golden rule.
This girl drama starts so damn early |
Anonymous
| If you're daughter wants to invite her, then yes, this is about you. Not condoning what the other parents did assuming it was just your child not invited, but if they are friends now even more than back then, let it go and invite her. Totally your daughter's choice - and try not to lay out the choice with your bias. That does no good. |
Anonymous
| In situations like this, I always give the benefit of the doubt. You don't know why she wasn't invited so don't assume it was a negative reason. Be the bigger person and show this family how it's done the right way. As dear old mom used to say, "Two wrongs don't make a right." |
Anonymous
| It wouldn't be rude if you didn't invite this girl (assuming she's not one of a few or the only girl not invited). However, it would be awfully kind and generous to invite her and show that example to your daughter. |
Anonymous
| Same thing happened to DD in kindergarten. The birthday girl talked about her party in class and all the kids invited participated. She even said to DD, "You're not invited." DD was really sad and cried for days. I was steaming mad at the girl for making the comment to DD. A month later was DD's birthday party and yes, I was tempted to not invite this girl. I asked DD if she wanted to invite her and she said, "yes, I want to invite everyone in class because I don't want anyone to feel as sad as I did for not getting invited." We threw DD a big party, invited everyone including the girl, and now a year later they are good friends. DD was invited to the girl's party this year. I'm sure not every story ends up this way, but just thought I'd share ours. |
Anonymous
Now this is a self licking ice cream cone if I have ever seen one. If everyone takes that policy, no one would new would ever be invited or included. And you have no idea what the other parent's motivation is. Petty, small, bad role model, and ahh. You just sound awful. I wonder if YOU are the reason your daughter wasn't invited. |
Anonymous
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come on 18:45, you know I didnt mean that we wouldnt invite anyone new to the class... (op here). the parents are full of themselves and the girl can be borderline mean, as much as something like that can be attributed to a 6 year old.
i know it is petty, and i just needed a talking to about taking the high road (thanks all). but dont you hate everyone who makes you baby sad, deep inside somewhere, just a little bit? |
Anonymous
+1. Don't be mean and petty. They are 5 or 6? If your DD wants to invite her, go ahead. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind. |
Anonymous
| Wow OP, when your daughter grows up to be a mean girl bitch...look back on this moment. You taught it to her. |
Anonymous
| The kids are 5. Be the bigger person. For all you know, the parents mistyped your email address in the evite. Don't be petty. |
Anonymous
No, I don't, because see, I recognize these are CHILDREN, very young children, and I know my mostly sweet kid has made others sad, as well. Kids are still learning and navigating social norms and it is the adults who need to help them. Kids are basically monsters, solipsistic creatures. They can be mean, clueless, but they have the excuse of being kids. I do not know what your excuse is. |
Anonymous
| Do not be THAT Mom. Ever. Invite the girl (invite all of them!) and I guarantee the invitations will come rolling in for next year's parties. You have the power to set the tone for this relationship (which may be lifelong, for all you know). Instead of starting on the path of rivalry because your kid wasn't invited to another kid's party in Kindergarten, foster the friendship and be THAT kind of Mom. |
Anonymous
| Ask your child what SHE wants. This is not about you, OP. |