Has a family member cut you out? Why?

[Anonymous]

If you're on the receiving end of a family member cutting you off, why did it happen? How do you feel about it?

My younger sister cut me off. We lived together for 4 years after I graduated and she was going to school. We would fight about everything. I was messy and she was tidy; she took my car and would leave for a day while I had no way of getting around; I wanted us to be friends but she wanted to keep her "personal life" private. We used to go out together and were friends. I confided in her about everything but it turned out she did not feel comfortable sharing her life with me. It turned into a one sided relationship. Last we talked she blamed me saying I was unapproachable and she could not confide anything in me. I was deeply hurt since I thought we were best friends. When I found out she had had a boyfriend which she denied having when I asked her about it, I was done. Funnily enough, she cut ME out.

[Anonymous]

How old are you? How long ago did this happen? In your case, it sounds temporary. Just keep trying and keep it light and superficial and she'll be back.

In my case, we are all 45 yrs, 50+ yrs and 60+ yrs old and i am afraid there's no going back. I believe the reasons i was cut out are relatively trivial but because of the age of my sibs, they are not very flexible and our mother is very old/will be gone soon and i think that's it for us! I try to make contact with every visit (they live near mother, i live distant) but it's no go. Good luck OP.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a very dysfunctional dynamic. Sad. But maybe in a few years you will reconnect.

[Anonymous]

My sister cut me out when I was born. She was 3 and was adamant about not wanting another kid. She has been 100% consistent for 51 years.

[Anonymous]

I cut off an abusive older brother because I realized that forgiving him was a mistake when he showed anger and aggression towards my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? How long ago did this happen? In your case, it sounds temporary. Just keep trying and keep it light and superficial and she'll be back.

In my case, we are all 45 yrs, 50+ yrs and 60+ yrs old and i am afraid there's no going back. I believe the reasons i was cut out are relatively trivial but because of the age of my sibs, they are not very flexible and our mother is very old/will be gone soon and i think that's it for us! I try to make contact with every visit (they live near mother, i live distant) but it's no go. Good luck OP.

We're in our twenties. I am late she is middle. A part of me is relieved because I honestly feel a little happy. Trying to be around her the last few months was emotionally painful and hurtful because she did not reciprocate my gestures of friendship or intimacy. She had started blocking me out over the past few years. At first, we'd go out together with mutual friends. Slowly, I got sick of the going out because I'm 4 years older and had work in the AM. We had this one incident where it was her friend's 21st birthday and it was a Sunday. The two of them insisted on going out to celebrate. Since I knew the girl pretty well, I decided to go along too but had the first day of my job the next day. I told them I can stay until midnight but we need to come back soon after. I go along until midnight and then start telling them to leave. They do not want to and start getting drunk and silly. I finally tell them to seriously cut it out and how I have the first day of my new job in the morning and I need to get home. They are so mad at me and don't speak to me on the drive home. The next day my sister berates me for being a "bad friend" and how I should have "sucked it up" since it was her birthday. I countered that with the fact that if they were MY good friends they wouldn't have made me stay out so late on the night before my first job.

After this night she stopped going out with me. Slowly I was excluded from her social circle and built my own. I always invited her to my events and around my friends/BFs and she kept hers separate. When I was interested in a guy or dating, she got the play by play and she had a BF for 5 months and I had no idea until her friend yelled at me saying he needs to be invited to her graduation party since he's her boyfriend.

Too much drama. She's not a very nice girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? How long ago did this happen? In your case, it sounds temporary. Just keep trying and keep it light and superficial and she'll be back.

In my case, we are all 45 yrs, 50+ yrs and 60+ yrs old and i am afraid there's no going back. I believe the reasons i was cut out are relatively trivial but because of the age of my sibs, they are not very flexible and our mother is very old/will be gone soon and i think that's it for us! I try to make contact with every visit (they live near mother, i live distant) but it's no go. Good luck OP.

We're in our twenties. I am late she is middle. A part of me is relieved because I honestly feel a little happy. Trying to be around her the last few months was emotionally painful and hurtful because she did not reciprocate my gestures of friendship or intimacy. She had started blocking me out over the past few years. At first, we'd go out together with mutual friends. Slowly, I got sick of the going out because I'm 4 years older and had work in the AM. We had this one incident where it was her friend's 21st birthday and it was a Sunday. The two of them insisted on going out to celebrate. Since I knew the girl pretty well, I decided to go along too but had the first day of my job the next day. I told them I can stay until midnight but we need to come back soon after. I go along until midnight and then start telling them to leave. They do not want to and start getting drunk and silly. I finally tell them to seriously cut it out and how I have the first day of my new job in the morning and I need to get home. They are so mad at me and don't speak to me on the drive home. The next day my sister berates me for being a "bad friend" and how I should have "sucked it up" since it was her birthday. I countered that with the fact that if they were MY good friends they wouldn't have made me stay out so late on the night before my first job.

After this night she stopped going out with me. Slowly I was excluded from her social circle and built my own. I always invited her to my events and around my friends/BFs and she kept hers separate. When I was interested in a guy or dating, she got the play by play and she had a BF for 5 months and I had no idea until her friend yelled at me saying he needs to be invited to her graduation party since he's her boyfriend.

Too much drama. She's not a very nice girl.

You both sound exhausting.

[Anonymous]

My sister cut me off when I got divorced. She had confronted me years earlier about issues with my now exH - alcohol abuse, cheating, general unacceptable behavior. But when we separated she acted shocked and offended. We have not spoken much since. It's been 12 years. Our kids have grown up hardly knowing each other. It hurts to be rejected by someone you love. I wish I didn't miss my sister so much. Even if she is a jerk!

[Anonymous]

Because his dysfunctional wife made up crap.

[Anonymous]

My brother has cut off all the family. He's involved with a woman with borderline personality disorder and their lives are nothing but chaos.

[Anonymous]

We had a room share situation growing up at times and she was the neat one while I was more live and let live relax already. She tried using the tape down the middle of the room but it would just get covered and besides it;s not like we had an official surveyor in there giving us exactly what would have been my fair and square 50 percent and her fair and square 50 percent. At some point she told on me to our parents and I wound up spending an entire weekend cleaning my bedroom! I was not happy. There was a small room that had no one staying in it so I just grabbed my things and threw them into that room with no explanation. She figured it out and we have not really spoken that much ever since.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a room share situation growing up at times and she was the neat one while I was more live and let live relax already. She tried using the tape down the middle of the room but it would just get covered and besides it;s not like we had an official surveyor in there giving us exactly what would have been my fair and square 50 percent and her fair and square 50 percent. At some point she told on me to our parents and I wound up spending an entire weekend cleaning my bedroom! I was not happy. There was a small room that had no one staying in it so I just grabbed my things and threw them into that room with no explanation. She figured it out and we have not really spoken that much ever since.

Please tell me you are 12.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? How long ago did this happen? In your case, it sounds temporary. Just keep trying and keep it light and superficial and she'll be back.

In my case, we are all 45 yrs, 50+ yrs and 60+ yrs old and i am afraid there's no going back. I believe the reasons i was cut out are relatively trivial but because of the age of my sibs, they are not very flexible and our mother is very old/will be gone soon and i think that's it for us! I try to make contact with every visit (they live near mother, i live distant) but it's no go. Good luck OP.

We're in our twenties. I am late she is middle. A part of me is relieved because I honestly feel a little happy. Trying to be around her the last few months was emotionally painful and hurtful because she did not reciprocate my gestures of friendship or intimacy. She had started blocking me out over the past few years. At first, we'd go out together with mutual friends. Slowly, I got sick of the going out because I'm 4 years older and had work in the AM. We had this one incident where it was her friend's 21st birthday and it was a Sunday. The two of them insisted on going out to celebrate. Since I knew the girl pretty well, I decided to go along too but had the first day of my job the next day. I told them I can stay until midnight but we need to come back soon after. I go along until midnight and then start telling them to leave. They do not want to and start getting drunk and silly. I finally tell them to seriously cut it out and how I have the first day of my new job in the morning and I need to get home. They are so mad at me and don't speak to me on the drive home. The next day my sister berates me for being a "bad friend" and how I should have "sucked it up" since it was her birthday. I countered that with the fact that if they were MY good friends they wouldn't have made me stay out so late on the night before my first job.

After this night she stopped going out with me. Slowly I was excluded from her social circle and built my own. I always invited her to my events and around my friends/BFs and she kept hers separate. When I was interested in a guy or dating, she got the play by play and she had a BF for 5 months and I had no idea until her friend yelled at me saying he needs to be invited to her graduation party since he's her boyfriend.

Too much drama. She's not a very nice girl.

Why couldn't they stay out? It was inappropriate to demand that they go home because you had something to do. They didn't make you go out, you could have taken a taxi. It sounds like a bad dynamic had been building up between to.

[Anonymous]

Yep. Next time take a cab.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a room share situation growing up at times and she was the neat one while I was more live and let live relax already. She tried using the tape down the middle of the room but it would just get covered and besides it;s not like we had an official surveyor in there giving us exactly what would have been my fair and square 50 percent and her fair and square 50 percent. At some point she told on me to our parents and I wound up spending an entire weekend cleaning my bedroom! I was not happy. There was a small room that had no one staying in it so I just grabbed my things and threw them into that room with no explanation. She figured it out and we have not really spoken that much ever since.

Please tell me you are 12.

That was exactly my thought!!