Anyone else get married and had no idea what your spouses salary was at the time?

[Anonymous]

A few current threads made me realize I had no idea what my DH's salary was when we got married.

[Anonymous]

Yup. Married and did not even consider HHI. I should of though....

[Anonymous]

Seriously?? Yes, I knew what his salary was. He knew what my salary was. We knew how much money we each had saved, what debt we had (just the mortgage on his house). Did you just completely ignore the financial side of life when you got married?

[Anonymous]

Of course I knew his financial situation. We sat down and did a budget and were saving for a house. We went to a financial planner also.

I think it would be incredibly irresponsible to not have a budget and a plan you have discussed as a couple before talking marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously?? Yes, I knew what his salary was. He knew what my salary was. We knew how much money we each had saved, what debt we had (just the mortgage on his house). Did you just completely ignore the financial side of life when you got married?

I can see not knowing these things when you got engaged but how do you start a life together and not know this?

[Anonymous]

By the time we were married we had bought a house together, and we had been sharing each others financial highs and lows for a couple years. So yes, I knew what he made!

[Anonymous]

We had been living together for four years when we got married, so of course! I think we had a joint account, but I can't remember.

[Anonymous]

We worked together, so yes, we knew.

[Anonymous]

Me. I didn't care.

[Anonymous]

Of course. We had been living together prior to marrying and we're very open with everything in our lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously?? Yes, I knew what his salary was. He knew what my salary was. We knew how much money we each had saved, what debt we had (just the mortgage on his house). Did you just completely ignore the financial side of life when you got married?

I was always really good about my finances but never thought to ask about his.

[Anonymous]

How could you not? I honestly don't understand. Don't you set financial goals together? Have a budget? Bank together? How would this be possible?

[Anonymous]

We had a financial discussion after we got engaged. Salaries, savings plans, debt (as it turned out only his mortgage), donation plans...... We ended up being on very similar planes so it was a very short discussion and we were in sync. 20+ years later, we are still in sync. We have the financial conversation about twice a year. So far it has worked very well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How could you not? I honestly don't understand. Don't you set financial goals together? Have a budget? Bank together? How would this be possible?

NP here. Nope, me either. I made (stupid) assumptions. No, we still haven't set financial goals together. We bank together (sort of). The more people talk the less I think I've done my marriage right.

[Anonymous]

PP, to be fair, I used to initiate financial conversations but DH always said "NOW IS NOT A GOOD TIME!" so I stopped. And said fuck it. Doing my thing.