Anyone else get married and had no idea what your spouses salary was at the time?

[Anonymous]

Wow folks. I find it boggling that you didn't discuss something so important. It doesn't matter if $& is 15k or 200k, but knowing is very important to be able to budget and plan.

[Anonymous]

I knew at the time, but I can't remember now.

[Anonymous]

Kind of. Dh didn't understand his PhD fellowship compensation package and we got married one month before he started the program. He's international so I think he was truly confused. Apparently when they presented his master's teaching assistant package tuition wasn't included. It was a rough 4 year's to say the least!

[Anonymous]

Nope. We had also shared credit reports. i didnt want any surprises.

[Anonymous]

Well, we were together when we got our salary offers for our first jobs fresh out of grad school, so yes, we knew each other's salaries rather well.

We also discussed finances while engaged, as part of our marriage prep.

[Anonymous]

How do you get married not knwoing uour spouse's income? How do you make a budget without that information?

[Anonymous]

We got married relatively young, and he wasn't working at the time (had just gotten his masters and was looking).

But I knew his student debt liabilities, so I knew everything he did.

[Anonymous]

No.

We had lots of conversations about money, houses, merging finances, paying for our wedding, long term goals, credit scores, etc...

I consider knowing how a person manages their finances to be pretty important - it's part of building a serious relationship.

[Anonymous]

We got married later (think mid-late 30s) when both were established. Pre-cana brought out nitty-gritty discussion of finances including salary and debt. Kind of a private person so I think discussing salary/net worth before commitment, whether it's living together, engagement, or marriage, would be weird for me.

[Anonymous]

Of course not. That's insane.

[Anonymous]

We went through finances in premarital counseling. Although I already knew it all. We had celebrated with dinners out every time we got raises, so I knew the dollar amount pretty early on.

[Anonymous]

I knew, because I asked point blank (and he didn't lie).

After 15 years of marriage, he handles all finances and gives me frequent reports on what's going on. I have access to everything, but no time/interest/knowledge to manage the money. I'm happy with our arrangement. We never tip toed around money, and it worked well for us.

[Anonymous]

I don't even understand how this is possible? Did you just assume a certain amount? Did you not plan on buying a house?

I can't even imagine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Me. I didn't care.

Me too. I don't think I've ever known, it 8 years of marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How could you not? I honestly don't understand. Don't you set financial goals together? Have a budget? Bank together? How would this be possible?

We don't really bank together - we each have our own savings account, and we have a joint account for household/child expenses. Sure, we set financial goals together. We can talk about savings, purchases, plans, investments, etc. but I don't need to know his salary to have those discussions. I don't know or care how much he has in his savings account, nor he mine. I realize that's not the approach most couple take, but it works for us.