Ask me anything: I am a kept woman

[Anonymous]

OP, I know you said the two of you don't talk about his marriage -- but since you have known him for so long, why do YOU THINK he married this woman who he says is so awful and frigid? If you had to guess -- why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I know who this man is -- initials are D.S. Am I right, OP? I won't reveal the whole name, don't worry.

No. And I'm not in Arlington.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, this is still going on? Looks like OP found DCUM's raw nerve...

More like every married women's darkest fear or source of paranoia.

Hardly. Women with self-esteem don't put up with that nonsense and we know where every penny goes. OP's paramour was a jerk before his wife married him and she knew it. Men like that don't change.

+1

And wife may be concerened with appearances, having the "right" house in the "right' location, having the kids look cute in matching outfits, etc etc etc. All of which is $$$. Which leaves her in a bind: since she doesn't WORK, what are her other options? She is stuck. She of course looks pinched!

Agreed. Wife is just as "kept" as OP, she is just making different tradeoffs. At least OP is honest with herself about the kind of relationship she is in. People act like having a marriage certificate makes it ok to put up with this kind of crap but there really isn't much of a difference between the kind of people OP and DW are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know you said the two of you don't talk about his marriage -- but since you have known him for so long, why do YOU THINK he married this woman who he says is so awful and frigid? If you had to guess -- why?

I got the impression that A. she had a lot of qualities that he honestly valued and B. he felt like the wedding was too planned out to leave. Deposits were given, save the date cards had gone out, etc. I would not be surprised if he felt it would hurt her more to call off the wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if her family is 1st generation American, which could possibly explain why they are not more aware of how her age and professional growth could not possibly sustain her lifetstyle. . . .

They may just be proud of her for having graduated. . .living in "big" Washington DC. . .etc. Also, since she went to Marymount, they may be traditional Catholic which is another reason why she went to MU but it sounds like she is not Catholic at all. . . . Maybe they are Asian (Philipino?) or Hispanic?. . . Man is white. . .maybe he has a thing for browner ladies but doesn't want to marry them. . ..is DW white? I think she said she is.

He and I are both white. My parents are not first generation Americans. They just believe you move out when you graduate from high school and life is yours to live at that point. Obviously not helicopter parents.

I wouldn't describe my parents as "helicopter" types, and they still know what my career is! My goodness.

[Anonymous]

Some are really desperate to kill this thread! Must really hate/fear OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not the Op but you guys are scary with your detective skills on this board . I am in a similar situation op--I get it. Your post has made me realize a lot of things

It's DCUM - they won't cease until they can find OP and stone her to death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if her family is 1st generation American, which could possibly explain why they are not more aware of how her age and professional growth could not possibly sustain her lifetstyle. . . .

They may just be proud of her for having graduated. . .living in "big" Washington DC. . .etc. Also, since she went to Marymount, they may be traditional Catholic which is another reason why she went to MU but it sounds like she is not Catholic at all. . . . Maybe they are Asian (Philipino?) or Hispanic?. . . Man is white. . .maybe he has a thing for browner ladies but doesn't want to marry them. . ..is DW white? I think she said she is.

He and I are both white. My parents are not first generation Americans. They just believe you move out when you graduate from high school and life is yours to live at that point. Obviously not helicopter parents.

I wouldn't describe my parents as "helicopter" types, and they still know what my career is! My goodness.

OP says she is a part-time interior designer. She has been able to support herself. Do most parents really bother to probe further when their kids aren't askinf them for money, and look healthy/happy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the Op but you guys are scary with your detective skills on this board . I am in a similar situation op--I get it. Your post has made me realize a lot of things

It's DCUM - they won't cease until they can find OP and stone her to death.

+1 I hope it's really her who's making this dumb call, and not some friend who's throwing her to the wolves.

[Anonymous]

[quote=
I would want to be in shape and looking good even if I weren't with him. I get to pick out my clothes - it's more he'll tell me what the dress code is when we're going somewhere. No, I do what I want. He was very surprised when I fostered a dog, for example. Not upset, but surprised. There have been several times he's wanted to get together and I've been unavailable - we just plan a different time.

What did you tell the rescue organization you did for a living?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I know who this man is -- initials are D.S. Am I right, OP? I won't reveal the whole name, don't worry.

No. And I'm not in Arlington.

Is his name Donald? I'll kill the mother fucker! Frigid, my ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know you said the two of you don't talk about his marriage -- but since you have known him for so long, why do YOU THINK he married this woman who he says is so awful and frigid? If you had to guess -- why?

I got the impression that A. she had a lot of qualities that he honestly valued and B. he felt like the wedding was too planned out to leave. Deposits were given, save the date cards had gone out, etc. I would not be surprised if he felt it would hurt her more to call off the wedding.

Wow, you're good. Can you rationalize me eating this entire box of gooey, delicious chocolates, too?

But seriously....no, he married his wife because he WANTED to marry her. If you've noticed, this man does whatever this man WANTS to do. Why did he get engaged to and marry a supposedly frigid woman? Why did he then proceed to have two kids with her? My guess is, the wife was a catch in his eyes, "marrying material".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I know who this man is -- initials are D.S. Am I right, OP? I won't reveal the whole name, don't worry.

No. And I'm not in Arlington.

Is his name Donald? I'll kill the mother fucker! Frigid, my ass.

Why would you ask if his name was Donald when the answer to "Are his initials DS?" was no?

[Anonymous]

Ah shit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[quote=
I would want to be in shape and looking good even if I weren't with him. I get to pick out my clothes - it's more he'll tell me what the dress code is when we're going somewhere. No, I do what I want. He was very surprised when I fostered a dog, for example. Not upset, but surprised. There have been several times he's wanted to get together and I've been unavailable - we just plan a different time.

What did you tell the rescue organization you did for a living?

I work part time doing interior design.