How do I ask a guy to be my FwB
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Anonymous
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So I'm recently divorced and really not interested in a committed relationship. I have a great life, wonderful jobs, two fun little girls, amazing friends and family. But I am a very sexual person and would like that part of my life to remain active. Just broke up with a guy and am looking for someone for indoor fun and occasional outings, but not to get involved in the rest of my life.
I changed jobs recently, used to work with a guy who was very attracted to me, and I to him, but I did nothing as I was dating other guy. Now I want to contact him to audition for above scenario, but have no idea how a normal guy would respond to such an offer out of the blue. What say you, DCUM? |
Anonymous
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Get a drink. Have sex.
"We should do this again. But keep it cery casual." |
Anonymous
| I would hope he declined. |
Anonymous
So after you have kids you shouldn't like sex, right? 
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Anonymous
| Agree with PP. just have sex with him. If it's good, say you'd like to do it again, but don't want anything serious. If it isn't, just don't do it again. You definitely don't need to reach out and ask explicitly, "Let's be FWB." |
Anonymous
| Just walk up to him and tell him you're slutty and just want to f once in a while. |
Anonymous
I would ask him out for coffee or a drink, and pretty much explain that you aren't looking for a committed relationship, but you do want someone to "do things with". I wouldn't go into the sex part, but just let it develop naturally...when things get hot and heavy you can have the conversation about wanting sex but not wanting a committed/exclusive relationship. I don't think you can reasonably expect a guy to be exclusive if you aren't willing to have a full relationship, and he may find someone else and ditch the FWB, or become annoying and demanding wanting more. But it could just as likely be he's up for the casual thing. |
Anonymous
+1 If you enjoy it, tell him that you're not interested in a serious relationship right now but you would like to keep seeing him a once or twice per month. He'll get the hint. |
Anonymous
Why is desiring sex, but not wanting to get someone involved with my kids, slutty? |
Anonymous
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Is he married? Then don't ask. For the rest, see how it goes. If you value his friendship too much and couldn't bear to lose it also don't ask.
I wish I had someone on the horizon, but I don't and I'm also not cut out for casual sex. So wish I was. So give it a go. |
Anonymous
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The only caveat would be someone developing the feels ... or maybe he meets a girl that wants to be serious/you meet someone you want to be serious with.
In short, it's tricky (not impossible!) to remain F if you had the WB for a while. |
Anonymous
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Good recommendation to just invite him to grab a drink or dinner and let the evening unfold.
At any point in the evening (or the next morning  ) I don't see why you can't be honest about not wanting a relationship but still desiring to see him again. I think a lot of angst and heart ache could be saved if people are frank, but not crass, about what they want.
But even if he is up for it, do be prepared for the possibility that one of you might not be able to keep it casual forever. And insist on being safe ALWAYS of course. |
Anonymous
| Tell him he makes you very moist down there. |
Anonymous
| You should make it clear you only want casual sex before you have it. Otherwise you're potentially tricking him into bed thinking you're starting something big, when in fact its something very small. |
Anonymous
Here's hoping that's the only thing that's small in this encounter. |