How do I ask a guy to be my FwB

[Anonymous]

Iignore these old dried up prines in here with the nun havits on. More thn likely these women arent having sex with their hisbands who are also here posting about affair partners. If he is sibgle and available invite him out chat during the date about not wanting a committment at the moment and why and then come on to him sexually and see what happens. He my be in to it. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a croc of shit people have written as advice. I think you talk to this guy. Meet for a coffee or lunch and find out where he is now, he could be in a relationship. You need to find out and take it from there. But do be honest up front, if he is secretly in love with you, finding out its casual after the event, would crush him.

OP here. I know that he had a big crush on me when we worked together. It was very obvious. He tried several times to initiate meetings with me and I was oblivious to the fact that he was just trying to spend time with me. In all honesty, he's a person I'd love to be in a relationship with, but I doubt he would consider a relationship with a single mom, no matter how attractive. I look a lot younger than I am and get hit on a lot by guys in their thirties who have no idea that I'm a mom who's really not available to have kids with!

Yes, well that's all well and good. when I was 32 I was being pursued by teenagers, that's hardly an accolade. You really should consider this guy's feelings in this. I don't understand why you're boasting about your appearance when you've just walked out of a failed marriage, to be honest.

Sorry if that came off as bragging, I didn't mean it that way. If you read more carefully, you'll see that I was saying that he would likely reject me. Most attractive guys with many choices would rather have a woman without kids.

I didn't cause the marriage to fail. Through two years of blood, sweat and tears, I excavated my children from a horrible situation, and they are happy now in so many ways that they never were before. I don't want to be in a relationship because we all need time to heal. Some of the things that happened will leave permanent scars. I'm willing not to be in a relationship until they are out of the house, so that they feel fully safe in their own home.

I'm sorry you've been through all that, it sounds horrible. And its completely understandable that you'd want to keep someone at a distance, for your sake and that of your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a croc of shit people have written as advice. I think you talk to this guy. Meet for a coffee or lunch and find out where he is now, he could be in a relationship. You need to find out and take it from there. But do be honest up front, if he is secretly in love with you, finding out its casual after the event, would crush him.

OP here. I know that he had a big crush on me when we worked together. It was very obvious. He tried several times to initiate meetings with me and I was oblivious to the fact that he was just trying to spend time with me. In all honesty, he's a person I'd love to be in a relationship with, but I doubt he would consider a relationship with a single mom, no matter how attractive. I look a lot younger than I am and get hit on a lot by guys in their thirties who have no idea that I'm a mom who's really not available to have kids with!

Yes, well that's all well and good. when I was 32 I was being pursued by teenagers, that's hardly an accolade. You really should consider this guy's feelings in this. I don't understand why you're boasting about your appearance when you've just walked out of a failed marriage, to be honest.

Sorry if that came off as bragging, I didn't mean it that way. If you read more carefully, you'll see that I was saying that he would likely reject me. Most attractive guys with many choices would rather have a woman without kids.

I didn't cause the marriage to fail. Through two years of blood, sweat and tears, I excavated my children from a horrible situation, and they are happy now in so many ways that they never were before. I don't want to be in a relationship because we all need time to heal. Some of the things that happened will leave permanent scars. I'm willing not to be in a relationship until they are out of the house, so that they feel fully safe in their own home.

I'm sorry you've been through all that, it sounds horrible. And its completely understandable that you'd want to keep someone at a distance, for your sake and that of your children.

+1. OP, I am in a similar situation as you and completely understand where you are coming from. I commend you for all you have done for your kids' sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a croc of shit people have written as advice. I think you talk to this guy. Meet for a coffee or lunch and find out where he is now, he could be in a relationship. You need to find out and take it from there. But do be honest up front, if he is secretly in love with you, finding out its casual after the event, would crush him.

OP here. I know that he had a big crush on me when we worked together. It was very obvious. He tried several times to initiate meetings with me and I was oblivious to the fact that he was just trying to spend time with me. In all honesty, he's a person I'd love to be in a relationship with, but I doubt he would consider a relationship with a single mom, no matter how attractive. I look a lot younger than I am and get hit on a lot by guys in their thirties who have no idea that I'm a mom who's really not available to have kids with!

Yes, well that's all well and good. when I was 32 I was being pursued by teenagers, that's hardly an accolade. You really should consider this guy's feelings in this. I don't understand why you're boasting about your appearance when you've just walked out of a failed marriage, to be honest.

Sorry if that came off as bragging, I didn't mean it that way. If you read more carefully, you'll see that I was saying that he would likely reject me. Most attractive guys with many choices would rather have a woman without kids.

I didn't cause the marriage to fail. Through two years of blood, sweat and tears, I excavated my children from a horrible situation, and they are happy now in so many ways that they never were before. I don't want to be in a relationship because we all need time to heal. Some of the things that happened will leave permanent scars. I'm willing not to be in a relationship until they are out of the house, so that they feel fully safe in their own home.

I'm sorry you've been through all that, it sounds horrible. And its completely understandable that you'd want to keep someone at a distance, for your sake and that of your children.

+1. OP, I am in a similar situation as you and completely understand where you are coming from. I commend you for all you have done for your kids' sake.

Thanks to both of you for the kind words. It has been a rough two years!

So I think I may just write him a email today and ask if he could meet next week for coffee or a drink. I have never actually initiated anything with a guy before. I've always waited for the guy to make the first move. But I think he was trying to make first moves all along, that I was deflecting. This is a slightly terrifying email to write!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a croc of shit people have written as advice. I think you talk to this guy. Meet for a coffee or lunch and find out where he is now, he could be in a relationship. You need to find out and take it from there. But do be honest up front, if he is secretly in love with you, finding out its casual after the event, would crush him.

OP here. I know that he had a big crush on me when we worked together. It was very obvious. He tried several times to initiate meetings with me and I was oblivious to the fact that he was just trying to spend time with me. In all honesty, he's a person I'd love to be in a relationship with, but I doubt he would consider a relationship with a single mom, no matter how attractive. I look a lot younger than I am and get hit on a lot by guys in their thirties who have no idea that I'm a mom who's really not available to have kids with!

OP, I'm the guy who mentioned it might be hard (heh) to stay F if the WB goes away.

this comment indicates to me -- and I could be wrong -- you're proposing this in the hope of getting in a "real" relationship with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a croc of shit people have written as advice. I think you talk to this guy. Meet for a coffee or lunch and find out where he is now, he could be in a relationship. You need to find out and take it from there. But do be honest up front, if he is secretly in love with you, finding out its casual after the event, would crush him.

OP here. I know that he had a big crush on me when we worked together. It was very obvious. He tried several times to initiate meetings with me and I was oblivious to the fact that he was just trying to spend time with me. In all honesty, he's a person I'd love to be in a relationship with, but I doubt he would consider a relationship with a single mom, no matter how attractive. I look a lot younger than I am and get hit on a lot by guys in their thirties who have no idea that I'm a mom who's really not available to have kids with!

OP, I'm the guy who mentioned it might be hard (heh) to stay F if the WB goes away.

this comment indicates to me -- and I could be wrong -- you're proposing this in the hope of getting in a "real" relationship with him.

Op here. You're right that if he were clearly interested in a relationship, I would consider it - but it is something that I wouldn't introduce to my kids for a long time. I don't actually think that is the case - I think he is of the age where he is looking for a wife, most likely to have his own children with. But I'd be happy to hang out with him until he finds that person!

[Anonymous]

markmywords wrote:OP, where are you located. You sound like someone I would get along with. Single guy with kids in your age range. Would love to chat. PM me.

ha ha ha translation : "you sound like someone who will have sex with me"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should make it clear you only want casual sex before you have it. Otherwise you're potentially tricking him into bed thinking you're starting something big, when in fact its something very small.

+1