How do I ask a guy to be my FwB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should make it clear you only want casual sex before you have it. Otherwise you're potentially tricking him into bed thinking you're starting something big, when in fact its something very small.

Yes, guys hate casual sex and this could be very scarring for him.

[Anonymous]

naughty PP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just walk up to him and tell him you're slutty and just want to f once in a while.

She's sluttybevuse she wants sex with no strings? Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should make it clear you only want casual sex before you have it. Otherwise you're potentially tricking him into bed thinking you're starting something big, when in fact its something very small.

Yes, guys hate casual sex and this could be very scarring for him.

Men enjoy casual sex.

But I have single male friends in their mid-to-late 30s who are really looking for a woman they can start a family with. They wouldn't turn down casual sex while they continue to look for a wife, but they would be upset if they stopped looking, thinking that OP was their girlfriend, and it turns out she's not.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks for all the responses.

To clarify, I haven't ever been a slut or gone after married men. I was married for ten years and before that was in a number of monogamous relationships. I will have kids with me at home for the next thirteen years at least, and I would rather not have a blended family for a number of reasons. It's always possible that meeting the right guy could change my mind about that of course. But for now, I would just like to have safe fun during those times that the kids aren't with me.

I am in my mid-forties, so I'm not sure this guy would get involved with me despite our strong attraction. I think he is likely to be in the 35-40 range. He's likely to be in the "looking for a wife" stage too. So this is all speculative in any case.

[Anonymous]

Being in the looking for a wife stage doesn't mean he would be averse to enjoying a healthy physical relationship. In fact, if he doesn't consider you a candidate for that title, it might work out even better until he meets someone who would be a good fit. Nothing to lose by testing the waters and being open about what your expectations are and are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just walk up to him and tell him you're slutty and just want to f once in a while.

Why is desiring sex, but not wanting to get someone involved with my kids, slutty?

Its not the desiring, its the doing, on a purely recreational basis. That's the slutty part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just walk up to him and tell him you're slutty and just want to f once in a while.

Why is desiring sex, but not wanting to get someone involved with my kids, slutty?

Its not the desiring, its the doing, on a purely recreational basis. That's the slutty part.

Sleeping with lots of men is slutty maybe. Although we aren't living in Victorian times. That's why just one guy at a time is better, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just walk up to him and tell him you're slutty and just want to f once in a while.

Why is desiring sex, but not wanting to get someone involved with my kids, slutty?

Its not the desiring, its the doing, on a purely recreational basis. That's the slutty part.

Is sex not allowed outside of marriage? Are you aware that people have been doing this for years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks for all the responses.

To clarify, I haven't ever been a slut or gone after married men. I was married for ten years and before that was in a number of monogamous relationships. I will have kids with me at home for the next thirteen years at least, and I would rather not have a blended family for a number of reasons. It's always possible that meeting the right guy could change my mind about that of course. But for now, I would just like to have safe fun during those times that the kids aren't with me.

I am in my mid-forties, so I'm not sure this guy would get involved with me despite our strong attraction. I think he is likely to be in the 35-40 range. He's likely to be in the "looking for a wife" stage too. So this is all speculative in any case.

You have two options:
-Divorced Dad around your age in a similar situation - has kids, no desire to remarry soon, etc.

or

-A younger guy. A guy in his late 20s/early 30s who is mature for his age. He will have no desire to meet your children, should have plenty of "experience" by that age, and will be in better shape than the Dad Bod's in your social circles. He will enjoy your company but won't tie any conditions to it.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just walk up to him and tell him you're slutty and just want to f once in a while.

Why is desiring sex, but not wanting to get someone involved with my kids, slutty?

Its not the desiring, its the doing, on a purely recreational basis. That's the slutty part.

You're an asshole

[Anonymous]

What a croc of shit people have written as advice. I think you talk to this guy. Meet for a coffee or lunch and find out where he is now, he could be in a relationship. You need to find out and take it from there. But do be honest up front, if he is secretly in love with you, finding out its casual after the event, would crush him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a croc of shit people have written as advice. I think you talk to this guy. Meet for a coffee or lunch and find out where he is now, he could be in a relationship. You need to find out and take it from there. But do be honest up front, if he is secretly in love with you, finding out its casual after the event, would crush him.

OP here. I know that he had a big crush on me when we worked together. It was very obvious. He tried several times to initiate meetings with me and I was oblivious to the fact that he was just trying to spend time with me. In all honesty, he's a person I'd love to be in a relationship with, but I doubt he would consider a relationship with a single mom, no matter how attractive. I look a lot younger than I am and get hit on a lot by guys in their thirties who have no idea that I'm a mom who's really not available to have kids with!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just walk up to him and tell him you're slutty and just want to f once in a while.

Why is desiring sex, but not wanting to get someone involved with my kids, slutty?

Its not the desiring, its the doing, on a purely recreational basis. That's the slutty part.

You're an asshole

And you think it is fine that a woman with young children at home will begin pursuing recreational sex without any emotional commitment, and then you would call someone an "asshole" (stay classy, PP) simply because she believes this is inappropriate. You have your standards; I have mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just walk up to him and tell him you're slutty and just want to f once in a while.

Why is desiring sex, but not wanting to get someone involved with my kids, slutty?

Its not the desiring, its the doing, on a purely recreational basis. That's the slutty part.

You're an asshole

And you think it is fine that a woman with young children at home will begin pursuing recreational sex without any emotional commitment, and then you would call someone an "asshole" (stay classy, PP) simply because she believes this is inappropriate. You have your standards; I have mine.

I hope your daughters turn out to be super "slutty".