Is it possible to successfully date without sex?
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Anonymous
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Early 30s woman here.
I'm thinking strongly about taking sex off the table. I won't say until after marriage, but definitely not until a relationship is established. Has anyone done this? I'm also not very religious if that makes a difference. |
Anonymous
| I've always done that and it seems to work fine. |
Anonymous
| Yes, and I'm marrying him in 2016! We met in late 2014. |
Anonymous
| How "established" is established to you? I know plenty of women in their 30s (myself included) who won't have sex until exclusivity has been decided. That generally comes somewhere around the 8-10 dates mark. |
Anonymous
| Tick tick tick. Let's say you fit in 3 dates a month, since both people are busy with work and so on. Is he going to wait a few months for some action? Most won't. |
Anonymous
| Not so much a number of dates, but a level of interpersonal intimacy that in my experience isn't achieved until the 6 to 8 month mark, so probably at least that long, but maybe longer or (not likely) shorter . |
Anonymous
This is actually one reason I'm considering it. I'm tired of appealing to most. Not really frightened by the clock either. |
Anonymous
If you don't mind sharing. How did you meet? How did your relationship progress? |
Anonymous
| I waited until we were exclusive. We talked for 2 months (met one time, but nothing sexual happened). Then finally went on a date. Three weeks later (and maybe 3-6 dates), we were exclusive and had sex. Married less then 2 years later, married 5 years now. |
Anonymous
| Steve Harvey advocates that women looking for marriage should wait 90 days. While I don't believe in waiting a specific set of time, I'd guesstimate that it usually takes me two months to feel comfortable and I like going there around the time exclusivity seriously comes up. |
Anonymous
| I waited about 3 months before sex with my now DH (2011 timeframe) And it was fine. I got to know him and spend great dates with him before intimacy and all that pent up sexual energy was awesome for the next honeymoon stage of our relationship. We talked about it briefly lately and he wasn't bothered by it, he said he would have been more turned off if I slept with him right away (but he could say whatever now if course) |
Anonymous
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I waited a few months. Made him want me more. We're married now.
I've never had an issue dating and needing to slut it up to attract a man. |
Anonymous
| I had sex with my husband on the first date. Being sexually compatible is very important to me and waiting a certain amount of time or dates doesn't do anything for me |
Anonymous
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We went 4 mos. However, I have Jewish, Muslim, and Christian friends of all dominations who made it to the altar without sleeping with the groom. Not all were virgins to begin with.
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Anonymous
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You treat your busy parts as bargaining chips. Early thirties was when my sexuality peaked, I can't see how it would be possible to keep it off the table. I'd lose my mind.
(Slept with future DH on our first "official" date. Married for almost 15 years.) |