Is it possible to successfully date without sex?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like good practice for your sexless marriage. Why not just be friends?

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's possible to date casually without sex. But when you find a guy you click with, and you've known him for several weeks and don't want to see anyone else, that's when sex discussions / exclusivity convos arise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like good practice for your sexless marriage. Why not just be friends?

Plenty of sexless marriages started out with plenty of sex initially, so not following your logic here.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it worked for me. Happily married now for 10 years with a good sex life.

Started heavy petting about 2 months in. Active Catholic at the time, he was not. I was not a virgin, one previous partner (had also waited a long time).

[Anonymous]

I thought about it differently, if I find the person I'm with to be attractive and the chemistry is right I slept with him pretty early on, maybe date one, three or four. If the chemistry and sex are lined up then the other parts of the relationship always seem to fall in line. I've had three serious boyfriends and a number of casual hookups; when I was having sex with them I always knew what I was getting myself into.
I had sex with my husband approximately 90 minutes after meeting him, stone cold sober in the middle of the day at an apple orchard; that was 19 years ago.

I went the long way around saying this; give yourself some rules if you like but if you feel it (that unmistakable inner pull towards someone) don't be afraid to break them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I thought about it differently, if I find the person I'm with to be attractive and the chemistry is right I slept with him pretty early on, maybe date one, three or four. If the chemistry and sex are lined up then the other parts of the relationship always seem to fall in line. I've had three serious boyfriends and a number of casual hookups; when I was having sex with them I always knew what I was getting myself into.
I had sex with my husband approximately 90 minutes after meeting him, stone cold sober in the middle of the day at an apple orchard; that was 19 years ago.

I went the long way around saying this; give yourself some rules if you like but if you feel it (that unmistakable inner pull towards someone) don't be afraid to break them.

Wow! How old were you? How did you meet him? Is the chemistry still there?

[Anonymous]

See, in my mid-30s, I don't want to relive my high school years with a dick tease. So, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it worked for me. Happily married now for 10 years with a good sex life.

Started heavy petting about 2 months in. Active Catholic at the time, he was not. I was not a virgin, one previous partner (had also waited a long time).

Wow. Haven't heard this term used since my high school junior prom!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it worked for me. Happily married now for 10 years with a good sex life.

Started heavy petting about 2 months in. Active Catholic at the time, he was not. I was not a virgin, one previous partner (had also waited a long time).

Wow. Haven't heard this term used since my high school junior prom!

This whole thread is puerile.

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine (and advisable) to wait if it would make you uncomfortable to have sex before you are exclusive. I am not a big fan of the hold out to nab them approach. Using sex as currency makes me uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

How "established" is established to you? I know plenty of women in their 30s (myself included) who won't have sex until exclusivity has been decided. That generally comes somewhere around the 8-10 dates mark.

This was how I always approached it - and how it proceeded with now DH. I didn't think it was particularly unusual. Many of my friends were also only comfortable with this approach. It might of scared off a couple guys, but most (once actually dating) would stick around.

[Anonymous]

might *have* scared

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had sex with my husband on the first date. Being sexually compatible is very important to me and waiting a certain amount of time or dates doesn't do anything for me

LOL I am sure your husband wasn't the first sex on the first date either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it worked for me. Happily married now for 10 years with a good sex life.

Started heavy petting about 2 months in. Active Catholic at the time, he was not. I was not a virgin, one previous partner (had also waited a long time).

Do you think that "heavy petting" allowed the two of you to explore your sexuality together and figure out if you were compatible before taking the final step and sleeping together? Did you wait for marriage to have intercourse with your DH?

I'm not really interested in sleeping with people quickly. I have concerns about STDs and would insist on partners getting tested before sex with me. But, I do think sexuality is an important part of a relationship, and I'd rather find out a bit about the other person's take on that before I sleep with him.

[Anonymous]

BJs