Is it possible to successfully date without sex?

[Anonymous]

Not if you want a happy marriage.
Try before you buy because forever is a long, long time.
Also, it's a good idea to live together for a year before you marry to get to know if he's what you want for the rest of your life. Compatibility is a tricky thing. Surprises on your wedding night -- or in the first few weeks are not fun, but you can always get an annulment.
Proceed with extreme caution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not if you want a happy marriage.
Try before you buy because forever is a long, long time.
Also, it's a good idea to live together for a year before you marry to get to know if he's what you want for the rest of your life. Compatibility is a tricky thing. Surprises on your wedding night -- or in the first few weeks are not fun, but you can always get an annulment.
Proceed with extreme caution.

Nobody is talking until marriage, just until exclusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not if you want a happy marriage.
Try before you buy because forever is a long, long time.
Also, it's a good idea to live together for a year before you marry to get to know if he's what you want for the rest of your life. Compatibility is a tricky thing. Surprises on your wedding night -- or in the first few weeks are not fun, but you can always get an annulment.
Proceed with extreme caution.

Nobody is talking until marriage, just until exclusive.

I guess I'm old-fashioned in that way. For me dating implies exclusive. Dicking around with multiple partners is gross.

[Anonymous]

If we are not physical by the 3rd date and don't have sex by the 5th date, we just are not compatible. Sex is HUGELY important to me in a relationship. I'd just assume that we are not physically compatible if it's not happening and I'd move on to the next person.

Then again, I'm not religious and can easily separate sex from love/emotions. *shrugs*

[Anonymous]

Wow, I am clearly a prude. I never occurred to me when dating to have sex before i was comfortable and we were clearly exclusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am clearly a prude. I never occurred to me when dating to have sex before i was comfortable and we were clearly exclusive.

Neither would I but honestly if you're not comfortable with a guy after a number of dates, it's time to dump him and move on. How many dates are reasonable?

At one date a week, 5 dates is 5 weeks ... if you're not comfortable then, the chemistry's definitely off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am clearly a prude. I never occurred to me when dating to have sex before i was comfortable and we were clearly exclusive.

nobody is saying to have sex before you are comfortable.... what the OP is effectively talking about the opposite of waiting until you are comfortable... she is saying to put a "minimum" number of dated in place which means she may be postponing sex beyond a point where she is comfortable simply to "date without sex" because she has a rule...

I've been watching this thread and I have to say that I think the OP would be very difficult to date. I get the strong impression that the guy she feels "rejected" by (see her other thread) probably can't figure out if SHE is really interested in him. She probably sends mixed signals and is probably more into having a guy chase after her than she is into actually having a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I thought about it differently, if I find the person I'm with to be attractive and the chemistry is right I slept with him pretty early on, maybe date one, three or four. If the chemistry and sex are lined up then the other parts of the relationship always seem to fall in line. I've had three serious boyfriends and a number of casual hookups; when I was having sex with them I always knew what I was getting myself into.
I had sex with my husband approximately 90 minutes after meeting him, stone cold sober in the middle of the day at an apple orchard; that was 19 years ago.

I went the long way around saying this; give yourself some rules if you like but if you feel it (that unmistakable inner pull towards someone) don't be afraid to break them.

Interesting. I have to ask, and I mean this in a non-judgmental way, but was this unique? Or did you have sex with many men that quickly before finding the right one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Wow, I am clearly a prude. I never occurred to me when dating to have sex before i was comfortable and we were clearly exclusive.


nobody is saying to have sex before you are comfortable.... what the OP is effectively talking about the opposite of waiting until you are comfortable... she is saying to put a "minimum" number of dated in place which means she may be postponing sex beyond a point where she is comfortable simply to "date without sex" because she has a rule...

I've been watching this thread and I have to say that I think the OP would be very difficult to date. I get the strong impression that the guy she feels "rejected" by (see her other thread) probably can't figure out if SHE is really interested in him. She probably sends mixed signals and is probably more into having a guy chase after her than she is into actually having a relationship.

+ 1 on that....she will find a guy who has low sex drive(or a gay guy wanting a straight life). It could work out, but it really puts a lot of pressure around sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am clearly a prude. I never occurred to me when dating to have sex before i was comfortable and we were clearly exclusive.

nobody is saying to have sex before you are comfortable.... what the OP is effectively talking about the opposite of waiting until you are comfortable... she is saying to put a "minimum" number of dated in place which means she may be postponing sex beyond a point where she is comfortable simply to "date without sex" because she has a rule...

I've been watching this thread and I have to say that I think the OP would be very difficult to date. I get the strong impression that the guy she feels "rejected" by (see her other thread) probably can't figure out if SHE is really interested in him. She probably sends mixed signals and is probably more into having a guy chase after her than she is into actually having a relationship.

It was other poster that put a timeframe or asked for number of dates.

OP described it as personal intimate relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am clearly a prude. I never occurred to me when dating to have sex before i was comfortable and we were clearly exclusive.

Neither would I but honestly if you're not comfortable with a guy after a number of dates, it's time to dump him and move on. How many dates are reasonable?

At one date a week, 5 dates is 5 weeks ... if you're not comfortable then, the chemistry's definitely off.

And you are okay that he probably has 1 or 2 other women in the same situation.

How many weeks do you expect it to take to untangle from those women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Wow, I am clearly a prude. I never occurred to me when dating to have sex before i was comfortable and we were clearly exclusive.


Neither would I but honestly if you're not comfortable with a guy after a number of dates, it's time to dump him and move on. How many dates are reasonable?

At one date a week, 5 dates is 5 weeks ... if you're not comfortable then, the chemistry's definitely off.


And you are okay that he probably has 1 or 2 other women in the same situation.

How many weeks do you expect it to take to untangle from those women?

Any guy who is dating 1 or 2 women will not waste time taking a woman out for 5 weeks. Most likely you have a guy who is not in demand/experienced. He will stick around and spend money on you. These guys get burnt a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am clearly a prude. I never occurred to me when dating to have sex before i was comfortable and we were clearly exclusive.

Not necessarily a prude but probably pretty low sex drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Wow, I am clearly a prude. I never occurred to me when dating to have sex before i was comfortable and we were clearly exclusive.


Neither would I but honestly if you're not comfortable with a guy after a number of dates, it's time to dump him and move on. How many dates are reasonable?

At one date a week, 5 dates is 5 weeks ... if you're not comfortable then, the chemistry's definitely off.


And you are okay that he probably has 1 or 2 other women in the same situation.

How many weeks do you expect it to take to untangle from those women?

Any guy who is dating 1 or 2 women will not waste time taking a woman out for 5 weeks. Most likely you have a guy who is not in demand/experienced. He will stick around and spend money on you. These guys get burnt a lot.

Not true. Most guys/gals are dating multiple people and rotate them out on a regular basis. Most guys will put a good 8-12 weeks in if they get somebody new into the rotation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am clearly a prude. I never occurred to me when dating to have sex before i was comfortable and we were clearly exclusive.

Not necessarily a prude but probably pretty low sex drive.

That is ridiculous.