If you're a DW who kept her last name
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Anonymous
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Do you bother correcting family members when they call you by your husband's last name? We are 6 months post-wedding and various cousins and grandparents from DH's family have sent mail only to me (i.e. birthday cards) addressed to "Larla (DH last name)". It drives me insane because I felt very strongly about keeping my name.
FWIW, I have kept my name on Facebook and if people ask I of course tell them. But I haven't made any sort of announcement (because that would be weird), so I guess everyone just assumes I forgot to change it on Facebook. |
Anonymous
| I might bring it up in casual conversation if the opportunity presents itself but it doesn't bother me to the point that I'd go out of my way to do so. |
Anonymous
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I kept my name. At the time, I felt very strongly about it. I've been married almost 20 years now and honestly, OP, this is not the hill to die on.
I don't correct anyone. Fyi, when you have kids, their adorable little friends will call you Mrs. DHLastName and assuming your kid has your DH's last name, their parents will be calling you Larla DHLastName because of your kid's last name. It's all fine. My kids are now tweens and by this age, the parents and kids have figured it out! |
Anonymous
| No, I don't correct people. It's not worth it. The people whose opinions matter to me know me well enough not to make this mistake. I don't mean that to be snarky, more that correcting others isn't worth it to me. |
Anonymous
| It's stupid |
Anonymous
| I let it go but it wasn't a problem with my immediate family. |
Anonymous
| No, I don't correct people usually. I liked my husband enough to marry him; I'm not ashamed to be called by his name. |
Anonymous
| If you didn't make any sort of announcement, how are they supposed to know you have a different last name than your husband? It's strange to assume that because you didn't change it on Facebook that they would know. Most women I know who kept their maiden name did so for professional reasons. They use their maiden name at work and on published documents, but don't give a darn if they receive mail using their husbands' names. Either make a formal announcement (not on Facebook) or let it go. My vote is to let it go. |
Anonymous
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No, I don't correct people. I'm very comfortable and happy with my choice to keep my name but I don't think it's worth having a fight over.
The people we are close to know and use the correct last name. The ones that call me by DHs last name generally aren't close to us and just don't know any better. If someone was using the wrong last name intentionally to be a pest, I'd probably throw them some side eye but I still don't think I'd bother getting upset about it. |
Anonymous
| I kept my last name and we have been married 7 years. Yes some people still use DH last name when sending mail addressed time. It doesn't bother me I don't bother to correct them. The only people I correct when some legal papers/official matters are concerned. |
Anonymous
| I never corrected people. That would be rude. If they didn't observe how I wrote my name, or if they didn't want to call me by my name, no biggie. People also mispronounce and misspell my first name. I have better things to do than correct people. I do notice who gets it right, though, and they get top-secret doubleplusgood bonus points. |
Anonymous
+1, also married 7 years. |
Anonymous
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The only people who seem to insist on addressing me as Larla DHlastname are.......our families. WTF? Well, not WTF, because I know exactly WTF they're doing. 12 years later, and they still have to let me know how much they disagree with my choice. All of them know I kept my name, all of them expressed their horror about it, all of them were told "Thanks for your concern, but I'm keeping my name."
So, OP, I feel ya. My mom sends us a check every year for christmas. Every year I have to call her and ask to PLEASE make it out to my actual name, as the bank isn't going to take it with an incorrect name. Much sighing and teeth gnashing ensues. |
Anonymous
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You're only 6 months out- yes - tell them. They may just assume and it's kind of a fair assumption. But after a while, after they have been informed, you have to just let it go.
I hyphenated, and almost 10 years later I have about a 50% success rate with mail and invitations and checks. It's annoying, but nothing can do. |
Anonymous
+1 |