If you're a DW who kept her last name

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't worry about it. They're probably just trying to be nice and don't know. I would get some big address labels that "John Smith and Jane Doe" in big font. They'll realize their mistake.

But I thought that socially even if you don't legally take DH's last name, that it wasn't wrong to be called Mrs. Smith? You'll never be Mrs. Maidenname.

[Anonymous]

I don't correct people unless the topic is part of the conversation.

[Anonymous]

It's taken three years since the wedding, but after three years of sending cards from "The Mylastname & Hislastname" family, all of the cards we've gotten so far this year have had my name in them correctly. There's hope!

[Anonymous]

No I don't correct and be grateful it's only the last name. I get birthday cards addressed to Mrs. David Lastname, like it's 1956.

[Anonymous]

Since a couple people mentioned checks, I thought I'd mention a tip. Bank of America let me register a "known alias" my first name with DH's last name. This way I can cash checks that arrive addressed to me by either name. It's easier than asking people to re-write checks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never corrected people. That would be rude.

Although I never correct people, I totally disagree that it would be rude to do so. If my name is Sue and people call me Sally, I would politely correct them. I think it's no different with the last name. I never do it because I don't care, but I can see why some people might care and want to be called by the correct name.
The only time I do care is with my own and DH's family, who call me the wrong last name all the time. We've been married over 20 years, so it's not like they haven't gotten used to it yet. It bothers me because I feel like these are the people who do or should know my name, and they should use it. But still I don't correct them. I just make a black mark next to their name in my little book.

[Anonymous]

I kept my name and 15 years later I still get it all the time. The worst is at situation where it still does not occur to me to respond to my husband's name so people think I'm rude. What annoys me more is my kid has two last names, no hyphen and his teacher and others no matter how many times I ask, keep doing the hyphen. I purposely did not do it so he could have the choice to only use one last name when he's older.

[Anonymous]

Not only do I get called by DH's name all the time (which doesn't bug me) by DD gets called by my las name all the time, because I often register her or fill out her paperwork for events and activities.

I can deal with being DD's mommy or Mrs Hislastname in social situations and kid situations, but it drives me batshit that my fathers family refuses to acknowledge that I kept
My name and my own father thinks I hyphenated.

[Anonymous]

I kept my last name. I don't mind what people call me. I do not bother to correct them. I know they are addressing me when they call me Mrs. Larla (DH lastname).

So what? Where is the confusion? In all the places that matter my name is the way I want it to be (legal documents, official records, deeds)

My DH also is addressed as Mr. Larlo (my lastname), at times because people assume that my last name is his last name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not only do I get called by DH's name all the time (which doesn't bug me) by DD gets called by my las name all the time, because I often register her or fill out her paperwork for events and activities.

I can deal with being DD's mommy or Mrs Hislastname in social situations and kid situations, but it drives me batshit that my fathers family refuses to acknowledge that I kept
My name and my own father thinks I hyphenated.

I'd be happy if my husband's dad called me by his last name. He cannot even remember my first name and often calls me the wrong one. He's a bit strange and they are not close so I just go with it. It is strange as so many people just assume it is hyphenated or I go by my husband's name when I never have.

[Anonymous]

I never correct people, unless they say it with an uncertain tone as if they are asking. It strikes me as pretentious or something to be militant about it. It's just not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Op, only you care about this.

[Anonymous]

No, I don't care.

[Anonymous]

It drives me nuts that my in-laws still call me by their last name and not mine- my son has my last name as one of his two middle names and they always leave it out

[Anonymous]

I'm a DH and my wife did not take my name.

My grandmother always got it wrong, and that was OK because she was just old-fashioned.

My parents and other close relative get it right - but I have an aunt that for years has sent stuff to Larla and Larlo HisLastName - and it drives me crazy. They are either stupid or intentionally rude.

But still, not worth saying anything to them.