So upset my kid can't count to 20

[Anonymous]

My 4yo preschooler can't count to 20. We count together constantly and he just can't seem to remember. DH and I are both ivy league educated and both our children are below average. I quit my job to focus on the kids and they are still behind. I feel like a terrible mother and failure. All these other mothers are bragging how their kids can read chapter books and my kid can't even count to 20.

[Anonymous]

...seriously? He's 4. Get over yourself, "Ivy Leaguer."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 4yo preschooler can't count to 20. We count together constantly and he just can't seem to remember. DH and I are both ivy league educated and both our children are below average. I quit my job to focus on the kids and they are still behind. I feel like a terrible mother and failure. All these other mothers are bragging how their kids can read chapter books and my kid can't even count to 20.

How do you know they are below average? Maybe they just don't give a damn about counting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...seriously? He's 4. Get over yourself, "Ivy Leaguer."

Yes, I'm upset that I went to Harvard and my kid can't count to 20.

[Anonymous]

Is this your oldest child? You will find that kids have their own timelines and their own priorities. And worse: once they recognize your priorities, they tend to shift gears and head in the opposite direction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...seriously? He's 4. Get over yourself, "Ivy Leaguer."

Yes, I'm upset that I went to Harvard and my kid can't count to 20.

One really doesn't have to do anything with the other.

[Anonymous]

Then teach him.

[Anonymous]

You need to relax. First of all, he's four. Second, you almost certainly are telegraphing your disappointment to him, which can't be helping him. Third, love your kids for who they are. They are people, not another reason to compete. Maybe if you do that, you'll find the things at which they excel instead of obsessing over something that - at this age - is meaningless.

[Anonymous]

you are nuts!!

signed,
a 4 year old teacher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this your oldest child? You will find that kids have their own timelines and their own priorities. And worse: once they recognize your priorities, they tend to shift gears and head in the opposite direction.

I feel like I am not cut out to be a parent. I'm mentally and physically exhausted. DH is the breadwinner and expects me to take care of all the home stuff. I think I am going to have a mental breakdown. We already outsource most of the cooking and cleaning. Now I'm wondering if we should get a tutor. I feel like I should be able to teach my children how to read and write. I cannot.

[Anonymous]

20:11 here again. Also, your kids are not your personal achievements. They are people. You must have a lot of insecurities yourself that are blinding you to that fact.

[Anonymous]

You just posted this to get everyone all riled up right?

[Anonymous]

I feel like I should be able to teach my children how to read and write. I cannot.

NBD. Many of us can't teach this stuff to our kids, me included. Never made me feel bad - I've never been trained in how to teach.

[Anonymous]

This is clearly not about your kid. I'm sympathetic, I really am. I would not be able to stay home with our DS.. I need to work to find fulfillment and achievement outside of the home. That way I can come home and just love my kid.

I think both you and your child will be a lot happier if you can find something else to wrap your identity around.

[Anonymous]

Sorry you feel that way OP! I was upset when my kid was the last to walk, too, but now I hardly think about it. Try to figure out what your kid likes and develop his/her interest. The counting will take care of itself.