So upset my kid can't count to 20

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 4yo preschooler can't count to 20. We count together constantly and he just can't seem to remember. DH and I are both ivy league educated and both our children are below average. I quit my job to focus on the kids and they are still behind. I feel like a terrible mother and failure. All these other mothers are bragging how their kids can read chapter books and my kid can't even count to 20.

Things might be better for you and for the kids if you went back to work at least part-time. I don't mean that to be nasty. I mean it as sincere, well-meant advice.

[Anonymous]

OP, I understand you are frustrated. I might feel the same if I were in your boat. But, I would try to remember that there is time. There will be kids who start K not knowing how to read, and barely recognize numbers.

The best thing you can do for your kids right now is to instill a love of reading (with you) and playing games that teach them how to count. Start easy, like with Candyland, then move up from there. Maybe draw an extra long hopscotch with 20 squares instead of the standard 10.

Parenting is hard in every way.

[Anonymous]

I just want to say that I have a 4 year old and if he couldn't count to 20, I'd be upset. I'm not bragging, but validating your feelings. Take a deep breath, realize how lucky to have a healthy and happy family, do what you can, and let go of the rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you are nuts!!

signed,
a 4 year old teacher

Wow, you're only 4 years old and you're already a teacher?

No wonder OP feels inadequate!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 4yo preschooler can't count to 20. We count together constantly and he just can't seem to remember. DH and I are both ivy league educated and both our children are below average. I quit my job to focus on the kids and they are still behind. I feel like a terrible mother and failure. All these other mothers are bragging how their kids can read chapter books and my kid can't even count to 20.

Things might be better for you and for the kids if you went back to work at least part-time. I don't mean that to be nasty. I mean it as sincere, well-meant advice.

+1

Not everyone is cut out to SAH. And not everyone is cut out to teach kids.

Be kind to yourself and go back to work and outsource this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this your oldest child? You will find that kids have their own timelines and their own priorities. And worse: once they recognize your priorities, they tend to shift gears and head in the opposite direction.

I feel like I am not cut out to be a parent. I'm mentally and physically exhausted. DH is the breadwinner and expects me to take care of all the home stuff. I think I am going to have a mental breakdown. We already outsource most of the cooking and cleaning. Now I'm wondering if we should get a tutor. I feel like I should be able to teach my children how to read and write. I cannot.

Unless your education was in early childhood literacy and numeracy, why would you expect yourself to have those specific skills?

It sounds like the problem is not that you are Harvard educated and your child can't count but that your are Harvard educated and might thrive with your own career and your kids getting high quality childcare where professionals focus on academic teaching. (Tho, your children may or may not be average or above ... you must understand heritability and that two Harvard degrees do not = gifted children automatically.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this your oldest child? You will find that kids have their own timelines and their own priorities. And worse: once they recognize your priorities, they tend to shift gears and head in the opposite direction.

I feel like I am not cut out to be a parent. I'm mentally and physically exhausted. DH is the breadwinner and expects me to take care of all the home stuff. I think I am going to have a mental breakdown. We already outsource most of the cooking and cleaning. Now I'm wondering if we should get a tutor. I feel like I should be able to teach my children how to read and write. I cannot.

And you are transferring this anxiety to your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this your oldest child? You will find that kids have their own timelines and their own priorities. And worse: once they recognize your priorities, they tend to shift gears and head in the opposite direction.

I feel like I am not cut out to be a parent. I'm mentally and physically exhausted. DH is the breadwinner and expects me to take care of all the home stuff. I think I am going to have a mental breakdown. We already outsource most of the cooking and cleaning. Now I'm wondering if we should get a tutor. I feel like I should be able to teach my children how to read and write. I cannot.

Unless your education was in early childhood literacy and numeracy, why would you expect yourself to have those specific skills?

It sounds like the problem is not that you are Harvard educated and your child can't count but that your are Harvard educated and might thrive with your own career and your kids getting high quality childcare where professionals focus on academic teaching. (Tho, your children may or may not be average or above ... you must understand heritability and that two Harvard degrees do not = gifted children automatically.)

+10000

[Anonymous]

My 4.5yo DC cannot count to 20 and I feel completely fine.

- MIT Ph.D. working mom

[Anonymous]

Pretty sure I wasn't counting to 20 before I started school, and I still got into Ivy. Not Harvard for me, but my sister did. Our mother just let us play and watch Sesame Street. I hope you realize you're out of whack, op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...seriously? He's 4. Get over yourself, "Ivy Leaguer."

Yes, I'm upset that I went to Harvard and my kid can't count to 20.

Could you count to 20 at 4?

[Anonymous]

Wow, 2 pages and no one has called troll yet.

[Anonymous]

Troll. And I say this not because you are upset your kid can't count to 20 (if you have a child) because I can imagine myself upset over this or something similar. But the way you wrote the op and mentioned that you went to Harvard, etc….Troll Troll Troll

[Anonymous]

You should let your child watch tons of Umizoomi episodes on TV. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

The question is, WHY did you decide to stay home?

Is it because you truly thought you would be able to handle household duties and childcare better than anyone else?

Or is it because you couldn't handle work?

Because you are very, very high-strung and anxious, and don't realize that you need medication?

My 5 year old can barely read three-letter words. On the other hand she counts beautifully (and adds, and subtracts multiple digits). We all have our strengths, and sometimes they're so awesome they take their sweet time to develop!

My 10 year old was born premature, had major development delays, and it turns out now, 10 years later, that he's gifted. At 4, we all thought he was low-IQ.

You see where I'm going with this?
It's not your child, it's you.

Relax, find a job, leave your beloved children to the professionals.