Making time for kids? Study says quality trumps quantity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:My aunt was a SAHM and 3 of her 5 kids have criminal records. My mother also stayed home and me and all of my siblings turned out well, no records, college educated, etc. Obviously it takes more than just having a SAHM for a child to turn out right.

Well...obviously. But whoever seriously argues that being in daycare at 6 moths old for 8 hours a day (or even younger, or even longer...) is better for a child than being home with Mom or Dad is just delusional. Sure...some don't think they have any other option than to go back to work with their baby barely being born and that's what people argue here. You do NOT have to go back to work when your child is 3 months old. If you choose to, fine. But stop justifying your choice with made up reasoning. We all know you could have stayed home but chose not to.

How wonderful for you that you are so knowledgeable about the financial situation of all working parents. Of course we can all take off as much time as we want! Why didn't I know that? Thank you for enlightening me!

Putting my student loans in forebearance (while they continue to accrue interest) and giving up the awesome healthcare that my job provides sounds like a great option for my family.

My 22 year old cousin without any real work experience who got knocked up by a married man is going to be moving back in with her parents. She'll be able to spend as much time as she wants taking care of her infant. I guess that would be a preferable situation than having a dual income family with job stability, flexible hours, and parents with graduate defrees.

Oh PP, what would I have ever done without you to tell me what I can and cannot do!

Work from home if you need the money...I know you hadn't thought of that so you're welcome.

I work from home, and I know you hadn't thought of this so you're welcome in advance - most employers require that you show you have childcare if you work from home. Working from home requires actual working, not subsidized, extended maternity leave. It's working. I had to sign a contract that shows that my child is taken care of by someone else during work hours. I know the feds do this too. So your flip solution means nothing.

But your child would be so much better off being plopped in front of the TV while you work rather than spending time with an engaged childcare provider doing language activites, crafts, etc. Children must be with their mothers (not even fathers count according to some PPs) ALL THE TIME during the FORMATIVE years or else you are having someone else raise them. There are no other options that count.

Don't forget that it is also better to spend their days in the carseat, strapped into a gross Target cart, staring glassy-eyed at Mommy drinking her Starbucks etc than engaged with an experienced childcare provider who's an expert in development of kids that age.

Again - hilarious. Why is it that I see plenty of "glassy-eyed" babies and toddlers strapped into their Target (or Wal-Mart) seats while accompanied by their non-English speaking nannies, who are usually on the phone while aimlessly walking the aisles? Why is it that most childcare providers aren't "experts in development of kids," but rather extremely poorly paid, immigrant women with little to no English language skills? Do you really think your child is somehow being stimulated in these situations?

Whatever you need to justify yourself. In the end, all the statistical studies show that what is relevant to a child's future is family income and mother's level of education. Judge all you want, but the PhD mommies out there who put their kids in daycare, and the JD mommies with their kids cared for by a nanny, who live in homes with high incomes are somehow, somehow managing to raise children who are just as, if not more accomplished and successful as those who sacrificed so much to SAH. Go figure.

SAHMs don't like studies. Just check out the entire point of this thread - missed by that nightmarish white supremacist a few posts back and her cronies.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if any of the posters so far have taken a step back, read their own posts and went "Oh wow...that person wrote something I thought was horrible - and then all I did was go back and write the same kind of judgmental, nasty, bitchy, name-calling stuff..."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if any of the posters so far have taken a step back, read their own posts and went "Oh wow...that person wrote something I thought was horrible - and then all I did was go back and write the same kind of judgmental, nasty, bitchy, name-calling stuff..."

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt was a SAHM and 3 of her 5 kids have criminal records. My mother also stayed home and me and all of my siblings turned out well, no records, college educated, etc. Obviously it takes more than just having a SAHM for a child to turn out right.

Well...obviously. But whoever seriously argues that being in daycare at 6 moths old for 8 hours a day (or even younger, or even longer...) is better for a child than being home with Mom or Dad is just delusional. Sure...some don't think they have any other option than to go back to work with their baby barely being born and that's what people argue here. You do NOT have to go back to work when your child is 3 months old. If you choose to, fine. But stop justifying your choice with made up reasoning. We all know you could have stayed home but chose not to.

How wonderful for you that you are so knowledgeable about the financial situation of all working parents. Of course we can all take off as much time as we want! Why didn't I know that? Thank you for enlightening me!

Putting my student loans in forebearance (while they continue to accrue interest) and giving up the awesome healthcare that my job provides sounds like a great option for my family.

My 22 year old cousin without any real work experience who got knocked up by a married man is going to be moving back in with her parents. She'll be able to spend as much time as she wants taking care of her infant. I guess that would be a preferable situation than having a dual income family with job stability, flexible hours, and parents with graduate defrees.

Oh PP, what would I have ever done without you to tell me what I can and cannot do!

Work from home if you need the money...I know you hadn't thought of that so you're welcome.

I work from home, and I know you hadn't thought of this so you're welcome in advance - most employers require that you show you have childcare if you work from home. Working from home requires actual working, not subsidized, extended maternity leave. It's working. I had to sign a contract that shows that my child is taken care of by someone else during work hours. I know the feds do this too. So your flip solution means nothing.

But your child would be so much better off being plopped in front of the TV while you work rather than spending time with an engaged childcare provider doing language activites, crafts, etc. Children must be with their mothers (not even fathers count according to some PPs) ALL THE TIME during the FORMATIVE years or else you are having someone else raise them. There are no other options that count.

Don't forget that it is also better to spend their days in the carseat, strapped into a gross Target cart, staring glassy-eyed at Mommy drinking her Starbucks etc than engaged with an experienced childcare provider who's an expert in development of kids that age.

Again - hilarious. Why is it that I see plenty of "glassy-eyed" babies and toddlers strapped into their Target (or Wal-Mart) seats while accompanied by their non-English speaking nannies, who are usually on the phone while aimlessly walking the aisles? Why is it that most childcare providers aren't "experts in development of kids," but rather extremely poorly paid, immigrant women with little to no English language skills? Do you really think your child is somehow being stimulated in these situations?

Ahh, the racist bitch again? My kids not with a nanny, btw. High quality childcare centers absolutely do the things pp described. Or do you believe classes are pointless too?

How is pointing out that the vast majority of childcare providers don't speak English as their first language in any way "racist"? You're so ridiculous it's painful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt was a SAHM and 3 of her 5 kids have criminal records. My mother also stayed home and me and all of my siblings turned out well, no records, college educated, etc. Obviously it takes more than just having a SAHM for a child to turn out right.

Well...obviously. But whoever seriously argues that being in daycare at 6 moths old for 8 hours a day (or even younger, or even longer...) is better for a child than being home with Mom or Dad is just delusional. Sure...some don't think they have any other option than to go back to work with their baby barely being born and that's what people argue here. You do NOT have to go back to work when your child is 3 months old. If you choose to, fine. But stop justifying your choice with made up reasoning. We all know you could have stayed home but chose not to.

How wonderful for you that you are so knowledgeable about the financial situation of all working parents. Of course we can all take off as much time as we want! Why didn't I know that? Thank you for enlightening me!

Putting my student loans in forebearance (while they continue to accrue interest) and giving up the awesome healthcare that my job provides sounds like a great option for my family.

My 22 year old cousin without any real work experience who got knocked up by a married man is going to be moving back in with her parents. She'll be able to spend as much time as she wants taking care of her infant. I guess that would be a preferable situation than having a dual income family with job stability, flexible hours, and parents with graduate defrees.

Oh PP, what would I have ever done without you to tell me what I can and cannot do!

Work from home if you need the money...I know you hadn't thought of that so you're welcome.

I work from home, and I know you hadn't thought of this so you're welcome in advance - most employers require that you show you have childcare if you work from home. Working from home requires actual working, not subsidized, extended maternity leave. It's working. I had to sign a contract that shows that my child is taken care of by someone else during work hours. I know the feds do this too. So your flip solution means nothing.

But your child would be so much better off being plopped in front of the TV while you work rather than spending time with an engaged childcare provider doing language activites, crafts, etc. Children must be with their mothers (not even fathers count according to some PPs) ALL THE TIME during the FORMATIVE years or else you are having someone else raise them. There are no other options that count.

Don't forget that it is also better to spend their days in the carseat, strapped into a gross Target cart, staring glassy-eyed at Mommy drinking her Starbucks etc than engaged with an experienced childcare provider who's an expert in development of kids that age.

Again - hilarious. Why is it that I see plenty of "glassy-eyed" babies and toddlers strapped into their Target (or Wal-Mart) seats while accompanied by their non-English speaking nannies, who are usually on the phone while aimlessly walking the aisles? Why is it that most childcare providers aren't "experts in development of kids," but rather extremely poorly paid, immigrant women with little to no English language skills? Do you really think your child is somehow being stimulated in these situations?

Ahh, the racist bitch again? My kids not with a nanny, btw. High quality childcare centers absolutely do the things pp described. Or do you believe classes are pointless too?

How is pointing out that the vast majority of childcare providers don't speak English as their first language in any way "racist"? You're so ridiculous it's painful.

You're despicable.
- new poster

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt was a SAHM and 3 of her 5 kids have criminal records. My mother also stayed home and me and all of my siblings turned out well, no records, college educated, etc. Obviously it takes more than just having a SAHM for a child to turn out right.

Well...obviously. But whoever seriously argues that being in daycare at 6 moths old for 8 hours a day (or even younger, or even longer...) is better for a child than being home with Mom or Dad is just delusional. Sure...some don't think they have any other option than to go back to work with their baby barely being born and that's what people argue here. You do NOT have to go back to work when your child is 3 months old. If you choose to, fine. But stop justifying your choice with made up reasoning. We all know you could have stayed home but chose not to.

How wonderful for you that you are so knowledgeable about the financial situation of all working parents. Of course we can all take off as much time as we want! Why didn't I know that? Thank you for enlightening me!

Putting my student loans in forebearance (while they continue to accrue interest) and giving up the awesome healthcare that my job provides sounds like a great option for my family.

My 22 year old cousin without any real work experience who got knocked up by a married man is going to be moving back in with her parents. She'll be able to spend as much time as she wants taking care of her infant. I guess that would be a preferable situation than having a dual income family with job stability, flexible hours, and parents with graduate defrees.

Oh PP, what would I have ever done without you to tell me what I can and cannot do!

Work from home if you need the money...I know you hadn't thought of that so you're welcome.

I work from home, and I know you hadn't thought of this so you're welcome in advance - most employers require that you show you have childcare if you work from home. Working from home requires actual working, not subsidized, extended maternity leave. It's working. I had to sign a contract that shows that my child is taken care of by someone else during work hours. I know the feds do this too. So your flip solution means nothing.

But your child would be so much better off being plopped in front of the TV while you work rather than spending time with an engaged childcare provider doing language activites, crafts, etc. Children must be with their mothers (not even fathers count according to some PPs) ALL THE TIME during the FORMATIVE years or else you are having someone else raise them. There are no other options that count.

Don't forget that it is also better to spend their days in the carseat, strapped into a gross Target cart, staring glassy-eyed at Mommy drinking her Starbucks etc than engaged with an experienced childcare provider who's an expert in development of kids that age.

Again - hilarious. Why is it that I see plenty of "glassy-eyed" babies and toddlers strapped into their Target (or Wal-Mart) seats while accompanied by their non-English speaking nannies, who are usually on the phone while aimlessly walking the aisles? Why is it that most childcare providers aren't "experts in development of kids," but rather extremely poorly paid, immigrant women with little to no English language skills? Do you really think your child is somehow being stimulated in these situations?

Ahh, the racist bitch again? My kids not with a nanny, btw. High quality childcare centers absolutely do the things pp described. Or do you believe classes are pointless too?

How is pointing out that the vast majority of childcare providers don't speak English as their first language in any way "racist"? You're so ridiculous it's painful.

Not so much racist as untrue. I haven't met a single non-English speaker working at a daycare. Probably more common among nannies, but I thought we were busy laying on the histrionics about the Hell of Daycare, not the Nightmare of Nannies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt was a SAHM and 3 of her 5 kids have criminal records. My mother also stayed home and me and all of my siblings turned out well, no records, college educated, etc. Obviously it takes more than just having a SAHM for a child to turn out right.

Well...obviously. But whoever seriously argues that being in daycare at 6 moths old for 8 hours a day (or even younger, or even longer...) is better for a child than being home with Mom or Dad is just delusional. Sure...some don't think they have any other option than to go back to work with their baby barely being born and that's what people argue here. You do NOT have to go back to work when your child is 3 months old. If you choose to, fine. But stop justifying your choice with made up reasoning. We all know you could have stayed home but chose not to.

How wonderful for you that you are so knowledgeable about the financial situation of all working parents. Of course we can all take off as much time as we want! Why didn't I know that? Thank you for enlightening me!

Putting my student loans in forebearance (while they continue to accrue interest) and giving up the awesome healthcare that my job provides sounds like a great option for my family.

My 22 year old cousin without any real work experience who got knocked up by a married man is going to be moving back in with her parents. She'll be able to spend as much time as she wants taking care of her infant. I guess that would be a preferable situation than having a dual income family with job stability, flexible hours, and parents with graduate defrees.

Oh PP, what would I have ever done without you to tell me what I can and cannot do!

Work from home if you need the money...I know you hadn't thought of that so you're welcome.

I work from home, and I know you hadn't thought of this so you're welcome in advance - most employers require that you show you have childcare if you work from home. Working from home requires actual working, not subsidized, extended maternity leave. It's working. I had to sign a contract that shows that my child is taken care of by someone else during work hours. I know the feds do this too. So your flip solution means nothing.

But your child would be so much better off being plopped in front of the TV while you work rather than spending time with an engaged childcare provider doing language activites, crafts, etc. Children must be with their mothers (not even fathers count according to some PPs) ALL THE TIME during the FORMATIVE years or else you are having someone else raise them. There are no other options that count.

Don't forget that it is also better to spend their days in the carseat, strapped into a gross Target cart, staring glassy-eyed at Mommy drinking her Starbucks etc than engaged with an experienced childcare provider who's an expert in development of kids that age.

Again - hilarious. Why is it that I see plenty of "glassy-eyed" babies and toddlers strapped into their Target (or Wal-Mart) seats while accompanied by their non-English speaking nannies, who are usually on the phone while aimlessly walking the aisles? Why is it that most childcare providers aren't "experts in development of kids," but rather extremely poorly paid, immigrant women with little to no English language skills? Do you really think your child is somehow being stimulated in these situations?

Ahh, the racist bitch again? My kids not with a nanny, btw. High quality childcare centers absolutely do the things pp described. Or do you believe classes are pointless too?

How is pointing out that the vast majority of childcare providers don't speak English as their first language in any way "racist"? You're so ridiculous it's painful.

Not so much racist as untrue. I haven't met a single non-English speaker working at a daycare. Probably more common among nannies, but I thought we were busy laying on the histrionics about the Hell of Daycare, not the Nightmare of Nannies.

Agreed. My now 8 year old was in daycare since she was 3 months old all the way to Pre-K. She loved it and still talks about her teachers to this day. I can tell you that she was far more stimulated in that school than she is now in her public school. She walked out of there as a 5 year old knowing how to speak French and Spanish, and was one of few kids who knew how to read entering into her K class. I worked from home too during those days and had to have childcare despite my situation. No way was I going to let my kid sit in front of a tv all day while I worked from home just for the sake of saying that she stayed home with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt was a SAHM and 3 of her 5 kids have criminal records. My mother also stayed home and me and all of my siblings turned out well, no records, college educated, etc. Obviously it takes more than just having a SAHM for a child to turn out right.

Well...obviously. But whoever seriously argues that being in daycare at 6 moths old for 8 hours a day (or even younger, or even longer...) is better for a child than being home with Mom or Dad is just delusional. Sure...some don't think they have any other option than to go back to work with their baby barely being born and that's what people argue here. You do NOT have to go back to work when your child is 3 months old. If you choose to, fine. But stop justifying your choice with made up reasoning. We all know you could have stayed home but chose not to.

How wonderful for you that you are so knowledgeable about the financial situation of all working parents. Of course we can all take off as much time as we want! Why didn't I know that? Thank you for enlightening me!

Putting my student loans in forebearance (while they continue to accrue interest) and giving up the awesome healthcare that my job provides sounds like a great option for my family.

My 22 year old cousin without any real work experience who got knocked up by a married man is going to be moving back in with her parents. She'll be able to spend as much time as she wants taking care of her infant. I guess that would be a preferable situation than having a dual income family with job stability, flexible hours, and parents with graduate defrees.

Oh PP, what would I have ever done without you to tell me what I can and cannot do!

Work from home if you need the money...I know you hadn't thought of that so you're welcome.

I work from home, and I know you hadn't thought of this so you're welcome in advance - most employers require that you show you have childcare if you work from home. Working from home requires actual working, not subsidized, extended maternity leave. It's working. I had to sign a contract that shows that my child is taken care of by someone else during work hours. I know the feds do this too. So your flip solution means nothing.

But your child would be so much better off being plopped in front of the TV while you work rather than spending time with an engaged childcare provider doing language activites, crafts, etc. Children must be with their mothers (not even fathers count according to some PPs) ALL THE TIME during the FORMATIVE years or else you are having someone else raise them. There are no other options that count.

Don't forget that it is also better to spend their days in the carseat, strapped into a gross Target cart, staring glassy-eyed at Mommy drinking her Starbucks etc than engaged with an experienced childcare provider who's an expert in development of kids that age.

Again - hilarious. Why is it that I see plenty of "glassy-eyed" babies and toddlers strapped into their Target (or Wal-Mart) seats while accompanied by their non-English speaking nannies, who are usually on the phone while aimlessly walking the aisles? Why is it that most childcare providers aren't "experts in development of kids," but rather extremely poorly paid, immigrant women with little to no English language skills? Do you really think your child is somehow being stimulated in these situations?

Ahh, the racist bitch again? My kids not with a nanny, btw. High quality childcare centers absolutely do the things pp described. Or do you believe classes are pointless too?

How is pointing out that the vast majority of childcare providers don't speak English as their first language in any way "racist"? You're so ridiculous it's painful.

Are you actually claiming that you aren't speaking disparagingly about non-English speaking, poorly paid immigrant women? Watch out, your snowflake might get brown rubbed off on him!

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP, my kid went through daycare from 3 months on, minus some small amount of unemployment/transition, and a horrible experience with a nanny, all the way through until kindergarten and she could speak a decent amount of Spanish and could read upon entering kindergarten. She never acted out in daycare/preschool but has a tad in kindergarten and I realized she might be slightly bored. We just moved out of the DC area (yup, I'm one of "those" now who will still come here) and she's been placed into an accelerated reading group at her new school. She did and is doing more than fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if any of the posters so far have taken a step back, read their own posts and went "Oh wow...that person wrote something I thought was horrible - and then all I did was go back and write the same kind of judgmental, nasty, bitchy, name-calling stuff..."

Don't get mad just cause we tell it like it is,
If you really think you're not doing your infant a disservice,
Well keep taking them to daycare,
What will be will be

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if any of the posters so far have taken a step back, read their own posts and went "Oh wow...that person wrote something I thought was horrible - and then all I did was go back and write the same kind of judgmental, nasty, bitchy, name-calling stuff..."

Don't get mad just cause we tell it like it is,
If you really think you're not doing your infant a disservice,
Well keep taking them to daycare,
What will be will be

Interesting that you saw yourself in that post.

What I have ZERO problem with is someone saying they could never personally work and put their child in a daycare because of their own ideas or beliefs or values. No problem. What I have a TON of problem with is that same person saying that I have harmed my kid by doing so. You are absolutely entitled to your beliefs and values. You are not entitled to tell me or anyone else that because we don't share those beliefs or values or have financial constraints you don't face or are a single parent, etc. that we have harmed our children. And no, you are not entitled to an opinion when it involves children other than your own.

Plus, learn now to punctuate properly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if any of the posters so far have taken a step back, read their own posts and went "Oh wow...that person wrote something I thought was horrible - and then all I did was go back and write the same kind of judgmental, nasty, bitchy, name-calling stuff..."

Don't get mad just cause we tell it like it is,
If you really think you're not doing your infant a disservice,
Well keep taking them to daycare,
What will be will be

Interesting that you saw yourself in that post.

What I have ZERO problem with is someone saying they could never personally work and put their child in a daycare because of their own ideas or beliefs or values. No problem. What I have a TON of problem with is that same person saying that I have harmed my kid by doing so. You are absolutely entitled to your beliefs and values. You are not entitled to tell me or anyone else that because we don't share those beliefs or values or have financial constraints you don't face or are a single parent, etc. that we have harmed our children. And no, you are not entitled to an opinion when it involves children other than your own.

Plus, learn now to punctuate properly.

Actually I am entitled to an opinion about just about anything in the entire universe. You have your opinions about this as well. I am also entitled to voice my opinion whenever and where ever I want. Like in this thread. Of course if I say young kids should be with their parents working Moms don't like to hear that...that doesn't mean my opinion is wrong. It just means those Moms have a different opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if any of the posters so far have taken a step back, read their own posts and went "Oh wow...that person wrote something I thought was horrible - and then all I did was go back and write the same kind of judgmental, nasty, bitchy, name-calling stuff..."

Don't get mad just cause we tell it like it is,
If you really think you're not doing your infant a disservice,
Well keep taking them to daycare,
What will be will be

Interesting that you saw yourself in that post.

What I have ZERO problem with is someone saying they could never personally work and put their child in a daycare because of their own ideas or beliefs or values. No problem. What I have a TON of problem with is that same person saying that I have harmed my kid by doing so. You are absolutely entitled to your beliefs and values. You are not entitled to tell me or anyone else that because we don't share those beliefs or values or have financial constraints you don't face or are a single parent, etc. that we have harmed our children. And no, you are not entitled to an opinion when it involves children other than your own.

Plus, learn now to punctuate properly.

Actually I am entitled to an opinion about just about anything in the entire universe. You have your opinions about this as well. I am also entitled to voice my opinion whenever and where ever I want. Like in this thread. Of course if I say young kids should be with their parents working Moms don't like to hear that...that doesn't mean my opinion is wrong. It just means those Moms have a different opinion.[/quote
What is your education level? You write like an elementary school child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt was a SAHM and 3 of her 5 kids have criminal records. My mother also stayed home and me and all of my siblings turned out well, no records, college educated, etc. Obviously it takes more than just having a SAHM for a child to turn out right.

Well...obviously. But whoever seriously argues that being in daycare at 6 moths old for 8 hours a day (or even younger, or even longer...) is better for a child than being home with Mom or Dad is just delusional. Sure...some don't think they have any other option than to go back to work with their baby barely being born and that's what people argue here. You do NOT have to go back to work when your child is 3 months old. If you choose to, fine. But stop justifying your choice with made up reasoning. We all know you could have stayed home but chose not to.

How wonderful for you that you are so knowledgeable about the financial situation of all working parents. Of course we can all take off as much time as we want! Why didn't I know that? Thank you for enlightening me!

Putting my student loans in forebearance (while they continue to accrue interest) and giving up the awesome healthcare that my job provides sounds like a great option for my family.

My 22 year old cousin without any real work experience who got knocked up by a married man is going to be moving back in with her parents. She'll be able to spend as much time as she wants taking care of her infant. I guess that would be a preferable situation than having a dual income family with job stability, flexible hours, and parents with graduate defrees.

Oh PP, what would I have ever done without you to tell me what I can and cannot do!

Work from home if you need the money...I know you hadn't thought of that so you're welcome.

I work from home, and I know you hadn't thought of this so you're welcome in advance - most employers require that you show you have childcare if you work from home. Working from home requires actual working, not subsidized, extended maternity leave. It's working. I had to sign a contract that shows that my child is taken care of by someone else during work hours. I know the feds do this too. So your flip solution means nothing.

But your child would be so much better off being plopped in front of the TV while you work rather than spending time with an engaged childcare provider doing language activites, crafts, etc. Children must be with their mothers (not even fathers count according to some PPs) ALL THE TIME during the FORMATIVE years or else you are having someone else raise them. There are no other options that count.

Not the PPs, but this just made me laugh. I don't care whether you're a WOHM or a SAHM (and I've been both), but to claim that your child is "doing language activities" while being cared for by a nanny or daycare provider is just ludicrous. The vast majority of childcare providers, especially in this area, speak little, if any, English. They can barely even communicate with the children they care for. Often, if we're talking about nannies, they meet in groups with other nannies and spend their time chatting in their own languages while their charges sit there with no mental stimulation at all. Or they just silently push strollers because there is no communication going on with the kids. It's very rare that I see a childcare provider whose first language is English and who can effectively do any kind of "language activities" with her charges.

That's funny because the norm for the childcare centers around me is to teach baby sign language to infants. The toddlers are primarily taught in English and have a once per week Spanish lesson with vocabulary sheet sent home. By the time they are 18 months, many centers have circle time for learning and I hear from teacher friends how much better prepared these children are for learning in a school environment once they enter kindergarten. Most decent quality childcare centers offer a variety of activities, catered lunches with healthy foods, free time outside, etc. with camera monitoring so parents can log in online and see what their kids are up to. But clearly you need to slam other people's childcare choices because there is *just* no way it could ever be as good as the care you are providing!

Wonder why you are trying so hard to convince yourself that daycare is bad? Do you need a self esteem boost this afternoon?

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Anonymous wrote:My aunt was a SAHM and 3 of her 5 kids have criminal records. My mother also stayed home and me and all of my siblings turned out well, no records, college educated, etc. Obviously it takes more than just having a SAHM for a child to turn out right.

Well...obviously. But whoever seriously argues that being in daycare at 6 moths old for 8 hours a day (or even younger, or even longer...) is better for a child than being home with Mom or Dad is just delusional. Sure...some don't think they have any other option than to go back to work with their baby barely being born and that's what people argue here. You do NOT have to go back to work when your child is 3 months old. If you choose to, fine. But stop justifying your choice with made up reasoning. We all know you could have stayed home but chose not to.

How wonderful for you that you are so knowledgeable about the financial situation of all working parents. Of course we can all take off as much time as we want! Why didn't I know that? Thank you for enlightening me!

Putting my student loans in forebearance (while they continue to accrue interest) and giving up the awesome healthcare that my job provides sounds like a great option for my family.

My 22 year old cousin without any real work experience who got knocked up by a married man is going to be moving back in with her parents. She'll be able to spend as much time as she wants taking care of her infant. I guess that would be a preferable situation than having a dual income family with job stability, flexible hours, and parents with graduate defrees.

Oh PP, what would I have ever done without you to tell me what I can and cannot do!

Work from home if you need the money...I know you hadn't thought of that so you're welcome.

I work from home, and I know you hadn't thought of this so you're welcome in advance - most employers require that you show you have childcare if you work from home. Working from home requires actual working, not subsidized, extended maternity leave. It's working. I had to sign a contract that shows that my child is taken care of by someone else during work hours. I know the feds do this too. So your flip solution means nothing.

But your child would be so much better off being plopped in front of the TV while you work rather than spending time with an engaged childcare provider doing language activites, crafts, etc. Children must be with their mothers (not even fathers count according to some PPs) ALL THE TIME during the FORMATIVE years or else you are having someone else raise them. There are no other options that count.

Don't forget that it is also better to spend their days in the carseat, strapped into a gross Target cart, staring glassy-eyed at Mommy drinking her Starbucks etc than engaged with an experienced childcare provider who's an expert in development of kids that age.

Again - hilarious. Why is it that I see plenty of "glassy-eyed" babies and toddlers strapped into their Target (or Wal-Mart) seats while accompanied by their non-English speaking nannies, who are usually on the phone while aimlessly walking the aisles? Why is it that most childcare providers aren't "experts in development of kids," but rather extremely poorly paid, immigrant women with little to no English language skills? Do you really think your child is somehow being stimulated in these situations?

Ahh, the racist bitch again? My kids not with a nanny, btw. High quality childcare centers absolutely do the things pp described. Or do you believe classes are pointless too?

How is pointing out that the vast majority of childcare providers don't speak English as their first language in any way "racist"? You're so ridiculous it's painful.

Not so much racist as untrue. I haven't met a single non-English speaker working at a daycare. Probably more common among nannies, but I thought we were busy laying on the histrionics about the Hell of Daycare, not the Nightmare of Nannies.

Different poster here, but I can vouch that most DC area daycare workers speak broken English.