Rant! Making plans with friends in "this town"

[Anonymous]

What is it about "this town" that makes it so hard to just get people together at the spur of the moment? It seems like every time I extend an invite for something "last minute" (ie not a month or more in advance) to friends, everyone always "has plans." The only way I can get friends together is by vetting dates weeks and weeks in advance, which is so annoying! I know people here like to feel important and like they are "so busy" all the time, but part of me just wonders if it's an act.

And why do I get the feeling that asking friends if they want to get together this weekend somehow makes me a loser, since I don't have anything scheduled yet? Am I the only person in the district that can admit I sometimes spend the weekend loafing around my apartment, watching Netflix, and sometimes feeling slightly sad while looking at Facebook when I see what other people are spending their weekends doing? I guess I just don't feel the need to keep up with the fake image that my life is perfect and I have something fun to do with friends at all times! Which I guess means I'm not a very good Washingtonian.

I seriously feel like this is unique to DC. I have lived in other cities and people just, you know, hang out! They even (gasp!!) invite friends who might not know each other to things, rather than keeping all their friend groups siloed except until the awkward birthday dinner where you all are expected to interact.

Seriously, why are people here so weird about this? It's infuriating!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you need to plan ahead more and make some more friends.

[Anonymous]

Why do people insist on referring to a city with almost 700,000 residents as a "town?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is it about "this town" that makes it so hard to just get people together at the spur of the moment? It seems like every time I extend an invite for something "last minute" (ie not a month or more in advance) to friends, everyone always "has plans." The only way I can get friends together is by vetting dates weeks and weeks in advance, which is so annoying! I know people here like to feel important and like they are "so busy" all the time, but part of me just wonders if it's an act.

And why do I get the feeling that asking friends if they want to get together this weekend somehow makes me a loser, since I don't have anything scheduled yet? Am I the only person in the district that can admit I sometimes spend the weekend loafing around my apartment, watching Netflix, and sometimes feeling slightly sad while looking at Facebook when I see what other people are spending their weekends doing? I guess I just don't feel the need to keep up with the fake image that my life is perfect and I have something fun to do with friends at all times! Which I guess means I'm not a very good Washingtonian.

I seriously feel like this is unique to DC. I have lived in other cities and people just, you know, hang out! They even (gasp!!) invite friends who might not know each other to things, rather than keeping all their friend groups siloed except until the awkward birthday dinner where you all are expected to interact.

Seriously, why are people here so weird about this? It's infuriating!!!!!!

Did you seriously move to DC and not expect people to be busy?

Or maybe they just don't like you that much; you sound uptight and unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

Facebook life is a fraud life.

[Anonymous]

I hear ya OP. Planning months ahead just to grab a drink is annoying to me too. I'm lucky to have found some friends who don't require this.

[Anonymous]

There's a certain person in my immediate family that has a Facebook life yet I know for a fact that life does not exist.

Don't ever think a Facebook life is real. It's not.

[Anonymous]

Nah I know what you mean OP. Except that now I'm kind of one of the busy ones. It's weird. However I have finally found a few friends I can text with and get together spur of the moment. It really has made a world of difference for my quality of life. Keep looking OP!

[Anonymous]

There are two parts to your post OP. The first is that people here are very busy and don't usually hang out spur of the moment. The second part is that looking at social media when you aren't busy makes you feel bad.

To the first part, I say this. We are very busy, with several events a weekend, planned at least a week in advance but usually several weeks/months. I don't remember the last time someone just dropped by to hang out with nothing specific planned.

Secondly, get off facebook! Don't look at things you know will make you feel bad. EVERYONE has downtime where they sit around their apartments. Just because your downtime falls while other people are out does not make you a loser.

Keep reaching out to people, with advance notice next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do people insist on referring to a city with almost 700,000 residents as a "town?"

This town is a nickname for DC. The OP obviously knows this and you do not. It's also the title of a book about the city by Mark Liebovich. Anyone who has lived here a while should know this.

[Anonymous]

Why does everyone here feel the need to make plans weeks and weeks in advance? Just wondering....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear ya OP. Planning months ahead just to grab a drink is annoying to me too. I'm lucky to have found some friends who don't require this.

It is really annoying. I was so happy when I met some people who were able to hang out more spontaneously. Just keep going out, and keep reaching out to people you like.

[Anonymous]

I'm not even going to read the OP's message or this thread. Just wanted to chime in that I'm so sick of people who bash DC. If you don't like living here, please leave. Now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does everyone here feel the need to make plans weeks and weeks in advance? Just wondering....

Because if you don't you'll end up not doing anything. Most people here are busy with work and family and the schedules get filled up with social and work obligations which doesn't leave much room for last minute get togethers.

[Anonymous]

For me, being busy is what makes most of my get togethers last minute. Something opens up, I send out a mass text to my buddies asking if any of them want to grab a beer. Can usually shake a couple of them loose.