Rant! Making plans with friends in "this town"

[Anonymous]

Busy schedules aside, some people are just not "spur of the moment" people. Planners get their days mapped out, and when something goes awry, it stresses them out.

[Anonymous]

I don't think everyone is as busy as they say. Busy-ness is an epidemic in our society. The Ny times did a good piece on this a while back. It makes people feel good about themselves, because, you know, they are super important and all! After all, they live here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people insist on referring to a city with almost 700,000 residents as a "town?"

This town is a nickname for DC. The OP obviously knows this and you do not. It's also the title of a book about the city by Mark Liebovich. Anyone who has lived here a while should know this.

Except, you're wrong. "This town" refers to the tight community around national politics, not to the city at large.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but some of us actually are busy. It's not just for Facebook. I've lived here since 1990, so I have a big network of friends, with kids and without, so I'm usually booked up. That said, there are also weekends where there isn't stuff going on and my friends and I come up with something low-key a couple days in advance, like just "hey, whoever is in town, come meet at Bar X."

I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who had such a low opinion of people, though. If you're sharing this view in real life and acting like a bitter, jealous Debbie Downer, people may have decided that they would rather hang out with others than with you. Not trying to be harsh, but if you dislike it here so much, you might fit better elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

People in DC don't just sit around aimlessly and have lots of idle time. It's a town filled with Type A's who "make shit happen."

If you want to have friends that don't make plans and just drop by on a whim, move to San Diego or Florida or Denver. People are way more laid back and less driven.

[Anonymous]

OP you need a mix of people. Def now that I have a kid it feels harder to make time with other people. I find that maintaining my friendship with child free women helps a lot. They are able to meet up the day of for a quick drink after work etc. But I do think there is somethign about DC people that makes everyone obsessed with being busy. all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People in DC don't just sit around aimlessly and have lots of idle time. It's a town filled with Type A's who "make shit happen."

If you want to have friends that don't make plans and just drop by on a whim, move to San Diego or Florida or Denver. People are way more laid back and less driven.

Or more driven to have better lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people insist on referring to a city with almost 700,000 residents as a "town?"

This town is a nickname for DC. The OP obviously knows this and you do not. It's also the title of a book about the city by Mark Liebovich. Anyone who has lived here a while should know this.

Except, you're wrong. "This town" refers to the tight community around national politics, not to the city at large.

[Anonymous]

I think people in Denver would argue they have much better lives. Depends on your priorities. Climbing the career ladder or shredding powder.

[Anonymous]

OP, where in "this town" do you live?

[Anonymous]

I have 4 kids. Everyday after school someone has something going on. I have to drive at least one kid. Then there is dinner and homework.

On the weekends, those same kids have parties, sports, scouts.

Currently, our weekends are planned through mid Jan and I have 2 weekends booked for Feb-June.

[Anonymous]

I'm usually not busy because I'm important, I'm busy because one of my kids is in band and the other is involved in a sport, and there seem to be perpetual things I need to take them to. Not sure this would be different anywhere else.

[Anonymous]

I'm a mix of last-minute and planning a couple of weeks in advance--which I think is pretty normal for "this town." During the week, there is usually at least one person who will be available for a last-minute dinner or happy hour, but I generally get to work early and leave late so unless the weather is absolutely gorgeous, I just want to go home and decompress. For me crowded bars are not relaxing. I can sip wine at home.

Plus I travel a fair amount, whether it's quick getaways--which are really easy in this area--or longer vacations, so the weekends do get booked in advance. And there are so many little get togethers and activities that it is rare to have a weekend with absolutely nothing planned. When they do occur, I either relish staying in my PJs all day or if I get antsy, I check out Meetup and go meet a bunch of strangers who I at least know share that one interest.

I think you just need to expand your circle. In my closest group of friends, if we want to get everyone together we throw out dates a month out and choose one that works for everyone. Some people have families, weird schedules, week on/off with the kid, yada yada, so I'm not going to pitch a fit if it means I get to have my best girls all together at the same time, but if a couple of us just want to grab a bite, it's usually easy enough to plan within a week.

But yeah, stay off FB. SO not reality...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People in DC don't just sit around aimlessly and have lots of idle time. It's a town filled with Type A's who "make shit happen."

If you want to have friends that don't make plans and just drop by on a whim, move to San Diego or Florida or Denver. People are way more laid back and less driven.

It's not a town. It's a city. Just FYI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but some of us actually are busy. It's not just for Facebook. I've lived here since 1990, so I have a big network of friends, with kids and without, so I'm usually booked up. That said, there are also weekends where there isn't stuff going on and my friends and I come up with something low-key a couple days in advance, like just "hey, whoever is in town, come meet at Bar X."

I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who had such a low opinion of people, though. If you're sharing this view in real life and acting like a bitter, jealous Debbie Downer, people may have decided that they would rather hang out with others than with you. Not trying to be harsh, but if you dislike it here so much, you might fit better elsewhere.

y

NP here. Do you reach out to people who are newer to DC? For those of us who arrived after having kids, it's really hard to break into groups of friends especially where people are so booked up.

I feel you, OP.