Rant! Making plans with friends in "this town"

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree with what you are saying. I am always up for last minute plans but I find that other people need to schedule way in advance and it's annoying. I'm a married SAHM, but after staying home 12+ hour days with my child I am always up for getting together for a mom's night out or ladies brunch anytime! The problem is it's so hard to find other people who also want to go out a lot. I go out at least twice a week with friends, usually a ladies night out and a brunch on the weekends, or a weekend dinner with friends. I don't mind making plans in advance but am always up for something last minute! We have no family in the area, so we're always free on the weekends, and we spend all our holidays alone so we'd love to find people to get together with on the holidays too. I don't have any social hobbies and find that as a SAHM to a toddler, that I don't get enough socializing for myself. We are in lots of classes, go to playgroups, etc. but it's hard to have meaningful conversation at these kinds of things. I am in a number of social groups but don't have very many friends. I'm lonely a lot. It's hard. I recommend finding other people who are new to the area/don't know many people yet, they are more likely to be interested in getting together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm usually not busy because I'm important, I'm busy because one of my kids is in band and the other is involved in a sport, and there seem to be perpetual things I need to take them to. Not sure this would be different anywhere else.

Agree. Before I had kids I was busy with my super demanding job and worked insane hours. Now I have a pretty normal job, but spend all my free time being a cruise director for my children's social lives and after school activities. The kids's school also has a ton of events.

[Anonymous]

op when you hit a certain point just going out bar hopping gets old. are you just out of college or something? if your friends are in relationships most of their spare time will be devoted to that. if single, they will be actively looking and maybe they dont want to pick up people in bars or be your wingperson.

[Anonymous]

I lived in Denver. It's not a snooze if you like skiing and hiking. People are also a lot friendlier, but I find that to be true pretty much everywhere outside the DC/Ny/philly/Boston corridor.

[Anonymous]

If your friends are always too busy to hang out with you w/out having to plan things out, then it is time to make some new friends.

If your friends are married, have young kids and/or busy careers, then it does make sense that they are always booked. Such is life.

You sound like you are single with no responsibilities OP. Perhaps you should hang out with people of your demographic.

I live on the other side of the country from you in CA. And yes, here people are a little more laid back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the DC/Ny/philly/Boston corridor.

NE Corridor. Save yourself a few keystrokes.

[Anonymous]

There is so much going on in this area that yes people do plan in advance.

There have been some weekends where we have gone to a festival, meetup group, sports game for kids and 5k race all in one day and yes this way a day planned in advance because all those dates for all those events were published and known months in advance.

It's very simple to become very busy in this area very fast if one wants to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry but how is asking people to do something during the weekend during the week make the OP a last minute planner? I guess if your calendar is booked up until February like one of the Previous posters then no time is ever to far out! Perhaps we should all start making our dinner plans for summer 2016.....you know, cause we are all so busy and booked up.

Personally, unless you have kids, I think being busy all the time and always having plans is a bit strange. Everyone needs down time and constantly feeling the need to be out and about can be a sign that you can't be alone with yourself. Or you don't care a lick about finances. Cause dinners, drinks, concerts, shows....they all cost money and that can really add up over time!

We don't have kids, make a lot of money, and are always out. Don't knock it just because you can't do it.

[Anonymous]

OP you are a person that I go out of my way not to make plans with. I'm 26, live with my fiancee, no kids, no financial problems, etc. but I do work long hours and have a dog. I get up at 430 every single morning to run the dog for an hour then go off to work. I'm tired by the time I get home and no, I can't do happy hours because I have a dog and work until 6ish. I also regularly tutor, volunteer, go hiking, and play on a recreational volleyball team. oh, and I'm going to grad school part time.

when people complain about my schedule it really gets on my nerves. it's my life, not yours. I absolutely love everything I am doing and don't want to drop anything - going for a run with my dog and fiancee or tutoring a high school student are way more rewarding than sitting around a table drinking and wasting the money we're trying to put down for a house. people that work 7 hours a day, have no other responsibilities, and nag me to go out more really annoy me. I'm doing what I like with my life, you do what you like with yours

[Anonymous]

It's funny, sometimes when my friends and I try to plan a special dinner it's like a nightmare finding a day we're all free. Then another time, one of us will send out a group text, "Anyone want to grab a bite on Friday?" And we all do. Schedules ebb and flow I find and it's a matter of timing when planning something.

Though there are people who just need to be all planned. My one close friend stops by to visit all time, she'll just text me and I say come on over. Another friends wanted to come too and it was pages of texts to arrange, how about this day? This time? What do I wear? What do I bring? I felt like saying, JUST COME OVER. It's my house not a dinner party.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you op. At the root I think is DC is so damn tough to deal with around esp at rush hour. I work in Foggy Bottom but we are meeting in China town? Ok I gotta deal with the broken escalator and packed metro, then when we get there, there are no tables, so we are all standing around in our work clothes with music blaring. Then I have to take the metro to...I dunno...ballston to get home, but it is after rush hour and the train will be another 14 minutes. Or ... I have to find a place to park, traffic, etc. it's just a hard town at certain hours of the day. The trick is to find a local crowd-either coworkers, so you can go out close to work, or neighborhood people. At a certain point in my life my whole group lived in Arlingron, so brunch, a movie, dinner was much more spontaneous. Also a good friend of mine has a tactic. She just makes her own plan. Then she texts everyone. "On my way to get pho in an hour. Let me know if you are in". There's usually a little contingent that shows up, and sometimes a big group.

[Anonymous]

I just got an email about summer camp registration opening on Monday. Okay so that means this weekend DH and I have to hash out summer vacation plans. By Monday, most of our summer will be accounted for.

It's just the way this area functions. Everyone plans well ahead.

[Anonymous]

Is it location or age of peer group?