STEM female vent

[Anonymous]

It's tiresome. Yes, I know more than you and I'm better. Yes, you hate that. Get over it and believe me that constantly having to prove my pecking order in the intellectual chain with male egos as a female peer outsider in a male dominated industry is exhausting.

I doubt you have to cook dinner too.

Vent over.

[Anonymous]

I think you need a vacation.

[Anonymous]

I agree. I've been working in a male-dominated STEM field for almost 14 years.

This is not how it is with all male co-workers. Try not to stereotype them with things like "I doubt you have to cook dinner, too", even in your head, unless you know that they actually probably do not do things like that because they are such sexists they never would

You might just need a new job. Or a new area of your field.

I work in software. I find hardware jobs to have more competitive people, and that makes them also somewhat sexist (because they're competitive they use everything). So, I stay away from those jobs whenever possible. Don't worry. Better groups are out there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree. I've been working in a male-dominated STEM field for almost 14 years.

This is not how it is with all male co-workers. Try not to stereotype them with things like "I doubt you have to cook dinner, too", even in your head, unless you know that they actually probably do not do things like that because they are such sexists they never would

You might just need a new job. Or a new area of your field.

I work in software. I find hardware jobs to have more competitive people, and that makes them also somewhat sexist (because they're competitive they use everything). So, I stay away from those jobs whenever possible. Don't worry. Better groups are out there!

interesting. I noticed the same thing about software versus hardware.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I work in software. I find hardware jobs to have more competitive people, and that makes them also somewhat sexist (because they're competitive they use everything). So, I stay away from those jobs whenever possible. Don't worry. Better groups are out there!

interesting. I noticed the same thing about software versus hardware.

Glad that I'm not the only one. I'd never say that's just what "they're" like, because I have had some very good male co-workers working in hardware support and networking, but I feel like there's always just some jerk.

[Anonymous]

Oh OP, Do I feel you.

May I add: dear coworker, I'm very sorry that you feel the need to still discount any opinion I have on the vapours or hysteria. That being said, I don't make "opinions" so much as I make a point to, you know, understand actual data and utilize it.

I'm also glad that you have 12 letters after your name, but still defer to me daily for basic information and analysis. Don't think for a moment that clients and the higher ups don't know where the real decisions come from. I'm enjoying the bonus that quietly came my way.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you've done an amazing job being a douche. Everyone knows it but you apparently.

P.S. Got the "secret" bonus too. Out of funds you aren't privy too in fact.

[Anonymous]

Eh. Female engineer here, the only woman on my team of >20. I've risen through the ranks from an entry-level engineer to a team lead, and have received nothing but encouragement from my peers and superiors. I'm not discounting your experience, I know people like that exist (I've dealt with them more in non-STEM fields, oddly enough), but not all workplaces are like that. If it's that bad, move on to another place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh. Female engineer here, the only woman on my team of >20. I've risen through the ranks from an entry-level engineer to a team lead, and have received nothing but encouragement from my peers and superiors. I'm not discounting your experience, I know people like that exist (I've dealt with them more in non-STEM fields, oddly enough), but not all workplaces are like that. If it's that bad, move on to another place.

+1 That's been my experience too.

[Anonymous]

20 years of STEM, pretty happy to now be working for the government. Left my last industry job after I was told to both "lead more" and "be less direct and more respectful" in the same review.

[Anonymous]

Also in a male dominated field here. OP, don't they peck at each other and play the proving game too? It is always worthwhile to consider that your gender might not be a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. Female engineer here, the only woman on my team of >20. I've risen through the ranks from an entry-level engineer to a team lead, and have received nothing but encouragement from my peers and superiors. I'm not discounting your experience, I know people like that exist (I've dealt with them more in non-STEM fields, oddly enough), but not all workplaces are like that. If it's that bad, move on to another place.

+1 That's been my experience too.

+2

Life is too short to be in a miserable place, be it perceived or actual. Time to take some time off and reevaluate where you want to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:20 years of STEM, pretty happy to now be working for the government. Left my last industry job after I was told to both "lead more" and "be less direct and more respectful" in the same review.

Haha, I got this one too one time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. Female engineer here, the only woman on my team of >20. I've risen through the ranks from an entry-level engineer to a team lead, and have received nothing but encouragement from my peers and superiors. I'm not discounting your experience, I know people like that exist (I've dealt with them more in non-STEM fields, oddly enough), but not all workplaces are like that. If it's that bad, move on to another place.

+1 That's been my experience too.

+2

Life is too short to be in a miserable place, be it perceived or actual. Time to take some time off and reevaluate where you want to be.

+3

[Anonymous]

I am not STEM but in the financial world with 90% males around me and it is exhausting. They throw out all these phrases at me "oh you must be having a bad hair day" or all kinds of reasons why I beat them, "oh you must have help from so-in-so". Whatever makes your ego feel a little better buddy.