STEM female vent

[Anonymous]

Granted, I am male, but I am in the hard sciences. We generally are a bunch of introverts. We only care about the work. STEM covers everything from tech support to nuclear physics.

[Anonymous]

OP back. I'm in tech. 20 years. It's brutally competitive. I'm competitive too and love my job.

I work with many great male supportive peers, but working in an industry that's 90% male is challenging as a female. It was a vent.

Finance PP, wish we could grab a coffee and share bad hair days.

[Anonymous]

I'm a STEM male. I get OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20 years of STEM, pretty happy to now be working for the government. Left my last industry job after I was told to both "lead more" and "be less direct and more respectful" in the same review.

Haha, I got this one too one time!

In stem. Software. Yes. I got that too.

[Anonymous]

They're really much tougher on older males, from my experience, in IT or tech. If you are "old" and male you are not respected. Older women can play the nice office mom and bake cookies and everyone loves them.

OP, you won't like this, but the women who usually succeed with men in STEM fields are the ones who are themselves. You can be one of the guys, or a girly girl or the office mom. Most women have much better communication skills. Maybe use that to your advantage.

Bake some cookies or pumpkin bread for them.

[Anonymous]

STEM IS MORE THAN TECH.

In my experience, computer techs are hostile to women. These are, however, the lowest level STEM jobs. Before computer repair, these would be the guys catcalling at the construction sites.

The engineers and scientists -- the ones that discover new things, the ones that design the systems. They are much more concerned about getting it right and capabilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not STEM but in the financial world with 90% males around me and it is exhausting. They throw out all these phrases at me "oh you must be having a bad hair day" or all kinds of reasons why I beat them, "oh you must have help from so-in-so". Whatever makes your ego feel a little better buddy.

Seriously? I worked on wall street and never experienced anything like this. If anything the challenge of being a woman is that you can never fit into their little club given you most likely have different interests and mannerisms.

OP needs to get over it. You're focusing way too much on your gender.

[Anonymous]

30 years of affirmative action for white women in the sciences and still, there are problems?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's tiresome. Yes, I know more than you and I'm better. Yes, you hate that. Get over it and believe me that constantly having to prove my pecking order in the intellectual chain with male egos as a female peer outsider in a male dominated industry is exhausting.

I doubt you have to cook dinner too.

Vent over.

I'm a male mechanical engineer and have to cook dinner every night. In STEM fields, you'll frequently find people who are direct, introverted, hate being proven wrong, and question everything...if you think your treatment is due to your gender, you're mistaken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:30 years of affirmative action for white women in the sciences and still, there are problems?

Your trolling is too obvious. If you're not sure what I mean, just climb up out of your parents' basement and ask your mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. Female engineer here, the only woman on my team of >20. I've risen through the ranks from an entry-level engineer to a team lead, and have received nothing but encouragement from my peers and superiors. I'm not discounting your experience, I know people like that exist (I've dealt with them more in non-STEM fields, oddly enough), but not all workplaces are like that. If it's that bad, move on to another place.

+1 That's been my experience too.

+2 My experience also. Everyone's a victim these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. Female engineer here, the only woman on my team of >20. I've risen through the ranks from an entry-level engineer to a team lead, and have received nothing but encouragement from my peers and superiors. I'm not discounting your experience, I know people like that exist (I've dealt with them more in non-STEM fields, oddly enough), but not all workplaces are like that. If it's that bad, move on to another place.

+1 That's been my experience too.

+2 My experience also. Everyone's a victim these days.

My observation has been if a female engineer is pretty and plays a little bit of the Ingenue, men will bend over backward to help them and encourage them. It's honestly a little condescending; if a guy was acting the same way they would dismiss him out of hand. Women that are competent and competitive but not cute are considered beeachy, it's horrible. And once you throw kids in the equation its all downhill (they are never here always off taking care of kids).

[Anonymous]

OP, it starts early:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/women-men-engineers-arent-equal-jared-mauldin-letter_561699b9e4b0e66ad4c6bee5

Maybe it will get better in the next generation:

http://www.engadget.com/2015/10/09/computer-science-is-the-most-popular-major-for-women-at-stanford/

"Women constitute 49 percent of the school's total student body and Computer Science accounts for 20 percent of the university's total enrollment. Computer Science did just barely eke out the previous title-holder, human biology, for the top spot by a mere six students."

I'm in IT, software development, and the condescension does happen now and again, even in Silicon Valley.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're really much tougher on older males, from my experience, in IT or tech. If you are "old" and male you are not respected. Older women can play the nice office mom and bake cookies and everyone loves them.

OP, you won't like this, but the women who usually succeed with men in STEM fields are the ones who are themselves. You can be one of the guys, or a girly girl or the office mom. Most women have much better communication skills. Maybe use that to your advantage.

Bake some cookies or pumpkin bread for them.

That is terrible advice. Please don't bake them cookies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're really much tougher on older males, from my experience, in IT or tech. If you are "old" and male you are not respected. Older women can play the nice office mom and bake cookies and everyone loves them.

OP, you won't like this, but the women who usually succeed with men in STEM fields are the ones who are themselves. You can be one of the guys, or a girly girl or the office mom. Most women have much better communication skills. Maybe use that to your advantage.

Bake some cookies or pumpkin bread for them.

The baking suggestion is good. It got a complete moron promoted rapidly.