This is not real life - paying for college edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been living inside the DCUM bubble for a long time. My first kid is going to college this fall, and I've joined a few college Facebook groups. I am absolutely gobsmacked by the lack of financial resources and acumen among most people in this country. Many parents seem to be surprised that they can't afford the college their kid got into, or are strategizing about how to take out loans for the entire 4 years.

I recognize that most of us here are privileged in one way or another. Either we are high earners, we've diligently saved for school, or we understand that you shouldn't go somewhere that you can't afford. It's insanity out there.

Our family can full pay for our DS, but even we underestimated the cost because we didn’t think he would be attending an expensive private. Many kids don’t start focusing on the schools they want until sophomore and even junior year (like us!) and, by then, it is too late for their families to financially plan for paying the COA.

Fortunately, we had set aside a fair amount in a 529. It is also worth noting that financial planners don’t always understand the cost, either. We had one tell us to cap the 529 at $200,000.

But he didn't have to go to an expensive private. Of course kids don't generally focus on the schools they want until junior year but parents should be figuring out their budget before that. Nobody just ends up at an expensive private school.

+1

It's our job as parents to tell kid what we are willing to pay for college, and to help them understand what debt actually means. Help them understand the average salary for first 5-10 years after graduation for their career path/major. IMO, taking more than the federal student loan amount of ~$27K total for 4 years is not a good path. With a kid working summers/PT during the year/All breaks, a kid can contribute $10-15K per year. So with student loans that is at $15-20K+ already. If parents cannot help with rest (or wont) then you need to search for merit. Anyone can do it---go down a tier or 2 from your reaches and it will appear. My 1220/3.5UW/no AP kid had 2 options for under $20K (6 years ago) and we were not even searching for aid. Had they needed it, they could have found many for under $20K. My 1500/3.95UW/8AP kid had 3 options that were under $40K (normally $85-90K schools 4 years ago), all ranked in top 80. Had they needed aid, they could have gone in the 80-140 range and attended college for much less.

This. We determined that we could pay up to $40k per year. Kids had plenty of options in budget. DD's cheapest offer was $15k all in (in-state school w/ merit). She opted to go elsewhere but if money had been tight, that was a really good option. It meant they only applied to reach schools that were in-state public Us because we could pay sticker price there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been living inside the DCUM bubble for a long time. My first kid is going to college this fall, and I've joined a few college Facebook groups. I am absolutely gobsmacked by the lack of financial resources and acumen among most people in this country. Many parents seem to be surprised that they can't afford the college their kid got into, or are strategizing about how to take out loans for the entire 4 years.

I recognize that most of us here are privileged in one way or another. Either we are high earners, we've diligently saved for school, or we understand that you shouldn't go somewhere that you can't afford. It's insanity out there.

Our family can full pay for our DS, but even we underestimated the cost because we didn’t think he would be attending an expensive private. Many kids don’t start focusing on the schools they want until sophomore and even junior year (like us!) and, by then, it is too late for their families to financially plan for paying the COA.

Fortunately, we had set aside a fair amount in a 529. It is also worth noting that financial planners don’t always understand the cost, either. We had one tell us to cap the 529 at $200,000.

I wish we had capped our total 529 value at 200,000. Ours just graduated college and we have a little more than 100K available left over between our 2 accounts. Yes, this is plenty for grad school except right now DC doesn't want to go to grad school. Yes, we could convert some to a Roth for the DC, but only $35K total, so still $65K left over.

If we had capped at 200K, we would have been within the $35K limit for the Roth.

I also recognize this is a good problem to have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM area has high proportion of government workers who typically save save save - and are generally pretty fiscally responsible. Here in NYC area you have high earners / high spenders who just plan on covering college from free cash flow, like i’m doing now for two kids enrolled concurrently. Typical ant vs grasshopper lol

We are in DC and pay for 4 kids in college (3 at the same time) from free cash flow. You aren’t special in NYC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been living inside the DCUM bubble for a long time. My first kid is going to college this fall, and I've joined a few college Facebook groups. I am absolutely gobsmacked by the lack of financial resources and acumen among most people in this country. Many parents seem to be surprised that they can't afford the college their kid got into, or are strategizing about how to take out loans for the entire 4 years.

I recognize that most of us here are privileged in one way or another. Either we are high earners, we've diligently saved for school, or we understand that you shouldn't go somewhere that you can't afford. It's insanity out there.

Our family can full pay for our DS, but even we underestimated the cost because we didn’t think he would be attending an expensive private. Many kids don’t start focusing on the schools they want until sophomore and even junior year (like us!) and, by then, it is too late for their families to financially plan for paying the COA.

Fortunately, we had set aside a fair amount in a 529. It is also worth noting that financial planners don’t always understand the cost, either. We had one tell us to cap the 529 at $200,000.

But he didn't have to go to an expensive private. Of course kids don't generally focus on the schools they want until junior year but parents should be figuring out their budget before that. Nobody just ends up at an expensive private school.

+1

It's our job as parents to tell kid what we are willing to pay for college, and to help them understand what debt actually means. Help them understand the average salary for first 5-10 years after graduation for their career path/major. IMO, taking more than the federal student loan amount of ~$27K total for 4 years is not a good path. With a kid working summers/PT during the year/All breaks, a kid can contribute $10-15K per year. So with student loans that is at $15-20K+ already. If parents cannot help with rest (or wont) then you need to search for merit. Anyone can do it---go down a tier or 2 from your reaches and it will appear. My 1220/3.5UW/no AP kid had 2 options for under $20K (6 years ago) and we were not even searching for aid. Had they needed it, they could have found many for under $20K. My 1500/3.95UW/8AP kid had 3 options that were under $40K (normally $85-90K schools 4 years ago), all ranked in top 80. Had they needed aid, they could have gone in the 80-140 range and attended college for much less.

This. We determined that we could pay up to $40k per year. Kids had plenty of options in budget. DD's cheapest offer was $15k all in (in-state school w/ merit). She opted to go elsewhere but if money had been tight, that was a really good option. It meant they only applied to reach schools that were in-state public Us because we could pay sticker price there.

Same. That’s what we’ve budgeted. We have solid in-state public options at that range. That’s their budget to work with. Not counting on any type of aid but, if they get aid, they’ll have more options. It’s up to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been living inside the DCUM bubble for a long time. My first kid is going to college this fall, and I've joined a few college Facebook groups. I am absolutely gobsmacked by the lack of financial resources and acumen among most people in this country. Many parents seem to be surprised that they can't afford the college their kid got into, or are strategizing about how to take out loans for the entire 4 years.

I recognize that most of us here are privileged in one way or another. Either we are high earners, we've diligently saved for school, or we understand that you shouldn't go somewhere that you can't afford. It's insanity out there.

Our family can full pay for our DS, but even we underestimated the cost because we didn’t think he would be attending an expensive private. Many kids don’t start focusing on the schools they want until sophomore and even junior year (like us!) and, by then, it is too late for their families to financially plan for paying the COA.

Fortunately, we had set aside a fair amount in a 529. It is also worth noting that financial planners don’t always understand the cost, either. We had one tell us to cap the 529 at $200,000.

But he didn't have to go to an expensive private. Of course kids don't generally focus on the schools they want until junior year but parents should be figuring out their budget before that. Nobody just ends up at an expensive private school.

But a lot of parents don’t do this. I know several friends of my DC here in CA who couldn’t afford to send their kids to a UC or CSU away from home or could barely afford it, and they are middle class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been living inside the DCUM bubble for a long time. My first kid is going to college this fall, and I've joined a few college Facebook groups. I am absolutely gobsmacked by the lack of financial resources and acumen among most people in this country. Many parents seem to be surprised that they can't afford the college their kid got into, or are strategizing about how to take out loans for the entire 4 years.

I recognize that most of us here are privileged in one way or another. Either we are high earners, we've diligently saved for school, or we understand that you shouldn't go somewhere that you can't afford. It's insanity out there.

Our family can full pay for our DS, but even we underestimated the cost because we didn’t think he would be attending an expensive private. Many kids don’t start focusing on the schools they want until sophomore and even junior year (like us!) and, by then, it is too late for their families to financially plan for paying the COA.

Fortunately, we had set aside a fair amount in a 529. It is also worth noting that financial planners don’t always understand the cost, either. We had one tell us to cap the 529 at $200,000.

But he didn't have to go to an expensive private. Of course kids don't generally focus on the schools they want until junior year but parents should be figuring out their budget before that. Nobody just ends up at an expensive private school.

But a lot of parents don’t do this. I know several friends of my DC here in CA who couldn’t afford to send their kids to a UC or CSU away from home or could barely afford it, and they are middle class.

How can this be??

[Anonymous]

I was a SAHM for 12 years. We were fine during that time, but we were not able to save much at all for college. We always knew we would have to pay for college as we went and after. In the end, we will have had at least one kid in college for 10 years! They all go to a state college, so nothing fancy. We qualify for PSLF, so by the time we hit 120 payments, we will have paid nowhere near what we would have up front. So this might have ended up being the more financially sound route after all. This is partially luck - because of the covid pause, we have credit for WAY more payments than we’ve actually made. A huge chunk of our loans will be forgiven after only 5 years of payments.

If we had spent those years saving for college, we would not have been able to go on all the vacations and do all the fun things as a family. So basically, we chose to be more liberal with our finances while our kids were young rather than scrimp and save during those years so that we could have better cash flow after they left home.

Was this the smartest decision? Maybe not, especially with the current situation. Keep in mind that we had no idea back then that this country would elect freaking Donald Trump twice and that he would get his kicks by screwing with the finances of every American. Who could have foreseen that? Things are tight right now. But I have no regrets! Kids are only little once, and I am glad we lived our best lives during that time.

[Anonymous]

This might be the most out of touch thread on DCUM. And that’s saying something!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM area has high proportion of government workers who typically save save save - and are generally pretty fiscally responsible. Here in NYC area you have high earners / high spenders who just plan on covering college from free cash flow, like i’m doing now for two kids enrolled concurrently. Typical ant vs grasshopper lol

I'm the DC saver. Also a widow with a relatively low income - low enough that it was below the "dream" school's advertised "full tuition waiver." Guess what - no FA offered, and when I appealed, I was told that I have more non-retirement money than most parents of incoming freshman. And this is a school with lots of rich kids. I actually said to the FA counselor, "I find that really hard to believe" and I do. Plus, that money has to supplement my income until I retire because I can't meet my monthly expenses on my income alone. My appeal was rejected, and DS is not attending that school.

Sour grapes all around. I have done everything right. But at least I can easily pay for 4 years at the school where DS landed. And he's being great about it; he told me I should never apologize for saving money.

They aren't just looking at current income, but savings, and housing costs. I'm sorry our spouse pased, but if that happened to me, I'd have to drastically change my lifestyle to make it work. And, relatively low income, is subjective as many people have an HHI of $40-80K vs. on here people consider low income $120K-500K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a SAHM for 12 years. We were fine during that time, but we were not able to save much at all for college. We always knew we would have to pay for college as we went and after. In the end, we will have had at least one kid in college for 10 years! They all go to a state college, so nothing fancy. We qualify for PSLF, so by the time we hit 120 payments, we will have paid nowhere near what we would have up front. So this might have ended up being the more financially sound route after all. This is partially luck - because of the covid pause, we have credit for WAY more payments than we’ve actually made. A huge chunk of our loans will be forgiven after only 5 years of payments.

If we had spent those years saving for college, we would not have been able to go on all the vacations and do all the fun things as a family. So basically, we chose to be more liberal with our finances while our kids were young rather than scrimp and save during those years so that we could have better cash flow after they left home.

Was this the smartest decision? Maybe not, especially with the current situation. Keep in mind that we had no idea back then that this country would elect freaking Donald Trump twice and that he would get his kicks by screwing with the finances of every American. Who could have foreseen that? Things are tight right now. But I have no regrets! Kids are only little once, and I am glad we lived our best lives during that time.

SAHM has nothing to do with it. I am a SAHM. We don't have a very high income. We bought a cheap very small house in a "less desirable" neighborhood and don't vacation. Life is about choices. Kids will not remember all the vacations so we prioritized savings over vacations. I cannot remember the last time we were on vacation. We do spend on activities and sports only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been living inside the DCUM bubble for a long time. My first kid is going to college this fall, and I've joined a few college Facebook groups. I am absolutely gobsmacked by the lack of financial resources and acumen among most people in this country. Many parents seem to be surprised that they can't afford the college their kid got into, or are strategizing about how to take out loans for the entire 4 years.

I recognize that most of us here are privileged in one way or another. Either we are high earners, we've diligently saved for school, or we understand that you shouldn't go somewhere that you can't afford. It's insanity out there.

Our family can full pay for our DS, but even we underestimated the cost because we didn’t think he would be attending an expensive private. Many kids don’t start focusing on the schools they want until sophomore and even junior year (like us!) and, by then, it is too late for their families to financially plan for paying the COA.

Fortunately, we had set aside a fair amount in a 529. It is also worth noting that financial planners don’t always understand the cost, either. We had one tell us to cap the 529 at $200,000.

But he didn't have to go to an expensive private. Of course kids don't generally focus on the schools they want until junior year but parents should be figuring out their budget before that. Nobody just ends up at an expensive private school.

But a lot of parents don’t do this. I know several friends of my DC here in CA who couldn’t afford to send their kids to a UC or CSU away from home or could barely afford it, and they are middle class.

How can this be??

1. Not everyone in CA is rich
2. Housing is super expensive in CA in most areas, particularly around the desirable schools, and this reflected in the housing cost

-CSU grad from an immigrant family who commuted to school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This might be the most out of touch thread on DCUM. And that’s saying something!

I know. It’s why so few are shocked that the op just figured this out. Instead they’re all patting themselves on the back for saving $300k per kid.

If you live in a small town or suburb in most of America your family home probably cost $350k 10 years ago (except the 10 major metro areas) and your family with 2-4 kids survives on a hhi of around $80k. If mom or dad went to college it was a in state public. There isn’t $500 a month per kid to sock away in a 529. And even if there was, the prevailing culture there is that it’s the parents job to get the kids through high school…after that they’re on their own. The dmv is a weird place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a SAHM for 12 years. We were fine during that time, but we were not able to save much at all for college. We always knew we would have to pay for college as we went and after. In the end, we will have had at least one kid in college for 10 years! They all go to a state college, so nothing fancy. We qualify for PSLF, so by the time we hit 120 payments, we will have paid nowhere near what we would have up front. So this might have ended up being the more financially sound route after all. This is partially luck - because of the covid pause, we have credit for WAY more payments than we’ve actually made. A huge chunk of our loans will be forgiven after only 5 years of payments.

If we had spent those years saving for college, we would not have been able to go on all the vacations and do all the fun things as a family. So basically, we chose to be more liberal with our finances while our kids were young rather than scrimp and save during those years so that we could have better cash flow after they left home.

Was this the smartest decision? Maybe not, especially with the current situation. Keep in mind that we had no idea back then that this country would elect freaking Donald Trump twice and that he would get his kicks by screwing with the finances of every American. Who could have foreseen that? Things are tight right now. But I have no regrets! Kids are only little once, and I am glad we lived our best lives during that time.

? so taxpayers are footing the bill for your fun life in the early years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This might be the most out of touch thread on DCUM. And that’s saying something!

I know. It’s why so few are shocked that the op just figured this out. Instead they’re all patting themselves on the back for saving $300k per kid.

If you live in a small town or suburb in most of America your family home probably cost $350k 10 years ago (except the 10 major metro areas) and your family with 2-4 kids survives on a hhi of around $80k. If mom or dad went to college it was a in state public. There isn’t $500 a month per kid to sock away in a 529. And even if there was, the prevailing culture there is that it’s the parents job to get the kids through high school…after that they’re on their own. The dmv is a weird place.

It's not just the DMV. It's any well educated, UMC area around the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This might be the most out of touch thread on DCUM. And that’s saying something!

I know. It’s why so few are shocked that the op just figured this out. Instead they’re all patting themselves on the back for saving $300k per kid.

If you live in a small town or suburb in most of America your family home probably cost $350k 10 years ago (except the 10 major metro areas) and your family with 2-4 kids survives on a hhi of around $80k. If mom or dad went to college it was a in state public. There isn’t $500 a month per kid to sock away in a 529. And even if there was, the prevailing culture there is that it’s the parents job to get the kids through high school…after that they’re on their own. The dmv is a weird place.

It's not just the DMV. It's any well educated, UMC area around the country.

I feel like the other ones I’ve lived jn (Seattle, San Diego, Dallas) the umc people have a better understanding of the lives of the people around them. The dmv can feel like the capital city in the hunger games.