This is not real life - paying for college edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been living inside the DCUM bubble for a long time. My first kid is going to college this fall, and I've joined a few college Facebook groups. I am absolutely gobsmacked by the lack of financial resources and acumen among most people in this country. Many parents seem to be surprised that they can't afford the college their kid got into, or are strategizing about how to take out loans for the entire 4 years.

I recognize that most of us here are privileged in one way or another. Either we are high earners, we've diligently saved for school, or we understand that you shouldn't go somewhere that you can't afford. It's insanity out there.

Our family can full pay for our DS, but even we underestimated the cost because we didn’t think he would be attending an expensive private. Many kids don’t start focusing on the schools they want until sophomore and even junior year (like us!) and, by then, it is too late for their families to financially plan for paying the COA.

Fortunately, we had set aside a fair amount in a 529. It is also worth noting that financial planners don’t always understand the cost, either. We had one tell us to cap the 529 at $200,000.

But he didn't have to go to an expensive private. Of course kids don't generally focus on the schools they want until junior year but parents should be figuring out their budget before that. Nobody just ends up at an expensive private school.

But a lot of parents don’t do this. I know several friends of my DC here in CA who couldn’t afford to send their kids to a UC or CSU away from home or could barely afford it, and they are middle class.

How can this be??

1. Not everyone in CA is rich
2. Housing is super expensive in CA in most areas, particularly around the desirable schools, and this reflected in the housing cost

-CSU grad from an immigrant family who commuted to school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This might be the most out of touch thread on DCUM. And that’s saying something!

I know. It’s why so few are shocked that the op just figured this out. Instead they’re all patting themselves on the back for saving $300k per kid.

If you live in a small town or suburb in most of America your family home probably cost $350k 10 years ago (except the 10 major metro areas) and your family with 2-4 kids survives on a hhi of around $80k. If mom or dad went to college it was a in state public. There isn’t $500 a month per kid to sock away in a 529. And even if there was, the prevailing culture there is that it’s the parents job to get the kids through high school…after that they’re on their own. The dmv is a weird place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a SAHM for 12 years. We were fine during that time, but we were not able to save much at all for college. We always knew we would have to pay for college as we went and after. In the end, we will have had at least one kid in college for 10 years! They all go to a state college, so nothing fancy. We qualify for PSLF, so by the time we hit 120 payments, we will have paid nowhere near what we would have up front. So this might have ended up being the more financially sound route after all. This is partially luck - because of the covid pause, we have credit for WAY more payments than we’ve actually made. A huge chunk of our loans will be forgiven after only 5 years of payments.

If we had spent those years saving for college, we would not have been able to go on all the vacations and do all the fun things as a family. So basically, we chose to be more liberal with our finances while our kids were young rather than scrimp and save during those years so that we could have better cash flow after they left home.

Was this the smartest decision? Maybe not, especially with the current situation. Keep in mind that we had no idea back then that this country would elect freaking Donald Trump twice and that he would get his kicks by screwing with the finances of every American. Who could have foreseen that? Things are tight right now. But I have no regrets! Kids are only little once, and I am glad we lived our best lives during that time.

? so taxpayers are footing the bill for your fun life in the early years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This might be the most out of touch thread on DCUM. And that’s saying something!

I know. It’s why so few are shocked that the op just figured this out. Instead they’re all patting themselves on the back for saving $300k per kid.

If you live in a small town or suburb in most of America your family home probably cost $350k 10 years ago (except the 10 major metro areas) and your family with 2-4 kids survives on a hhi of around $80k. If mom or dad went to college it was a in state public. There isn’t $500 a month per kid to sock away in a 529. And even if there was, the prevailing culture there is that it’s the parents job to get the kids through high school…after that they’re on their own. The dmv is a weird place.

It's not just the DMV. It's any well educated, UMC area around the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This might be the most out of touch thread on DCUM. And that’s saying something!

I know. It’s why so few are shocked that the op just figured this out. Instead they’re all patting themselves on the back for saving $300k per kid.

If you live in a small town or suburb in most of America your family home probably cost $350k 10 years ago (except the 10 major metro areas) and your family with 2-4 kids survives on a hhi of around $80k. If mom or dad went to college it was a in state public. There isn’t $500 a month per kid to sock away in a 529. And even if there was, the prevailing culture there is that it’s the parents job to get the kids through high school…after that they’re on their own. The dmv is a weird place.

It's not just the DMV. It's any well educated, UMC area around the country.

I feel like the other ones I’ve lived jn (Seattle, San Diego, Dallas) the umc people have a better understanding of the lives of the people around them. The dmv can feel like the capital city in the hunger games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This might be the most out of touch thread on DCUM. And that’s saying something!

I know. It’s why so few are shocked that the op just figured this out. Instead they’re all patting themselves on the back for saving $300k per kid.

If you live in a small town or suburb in most of America your family home probably cost $350k 10 years ago (except the 10 major metro areas) and your family with 2-4 kids survives on a hhi of around $80k. If mom or dad went to college it was a in state public. There isn’t $500 a month per kid to sock away in a 529. And even if there was, the prevailing culture there is that it’s the parents job to get the kids through high school…after that they’re on their own. The dmv is a weird place.

It's not just the DMV. It's any well educated, UMC area around the country.

I feel like the other ones I’ve lived jn (Seattle, San Diego, Dallas) the umc people have a better understanding of the lives of the people around them. The dmv can feel like the capital city in the hunger games.

That's because the DMV has a lot more old money. But, it also has a lot of transplants. Obviously, I don't know the breakdown, but I'm willing to be that a lot of transplants not from NYC were unaware of the cost but may have gotten the info because of the parents in the know in this are.

I include myself in that list. I'm originally from CA.

[Anonymous]

DCUM is a self-selected group of people who know enough about these things to realize they should login to learn and ask questions.

There might be aspects of posters' backgrounds that drive this. But there's also just a general trait that we all have personalities (or schedules) to want to figure this stuff well in advance.

So yes, I think what you are seeing *is* real life. Not because of differences in income or education, necessarily, but based on tendency to seek out this info in anticipation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM area has high proportion of government workers who typically save save save - and are generally pretty fiscally responsible. Here in NYC area you have high earners / high spenders who just plan on covering college from free cash flow, like i’m doing now for two kids enrolled concurrently. Typical ant vs grasshopper lol

We are in DC and pay for 4 kids in college (3 at the same time) from free cash flow. You aren’t special in NYC.

wouldn’t be proud of this friend - don’t think the OP here was bragging about it. Read the room..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are DC going? I have 3 DC in/ heading to college this year and have seen none of this nonsense. In fact, zero questions regarding financial aid or assistance anywhere. Notably, DC are in three very different types of schools, a Southern state school, a T25 private, and a SLAC.
We are in 2+ FB threads per school.

These aren’t the school college FB groups but a general class of 2030 FB group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is a self-selected group of people who know enough about these things to realize they should login to learn and ask questions.

There might be aspects of posters' backgrounds that drive this. But there's also just a general trait that we all have personalities (or schedules) to want to figure this stuff well in advance.

So yes, I think what you are seeing *is* real life. Not because of differences in income or education, necessarily, but based on tendency to seek out this info in anticipation.

+1

Life also comes after families fast and saving for college can fall into the background even if they can do it.

[Anonymous]

People with hundreds of thousands saved for college are the ones not really living in the real world. Congratulations, you are very wealthy my mediocre student? No name State University hopefully.

[Anonymous]

Thank you! I completely understand how most people are caught out on those FB groups - lower incomes, no cushion, etc - but with some of those posts I have wanted to scream “how on earth did you think it would be paid for?”. Especially when they have a COA of $5k with aid, and they are crying about not being able to send their kid to a dream school. I honestly understand why, but I still scratch my head.

I do think one of the reasons we’re seeing more comebacks from waitlists with more aid this year is because many people were caught out by the new loan rules. If you did save, I think that your kids will have better chances at schools than they did a few years ago.

[Anonymous]

What surprises me is how in the Awesomely Average Kids FB group there are seemingly a lot of families with kids who have B / C+ averages and lower SATs and they are going to colleges with merit (?) or just fully paid. So it makes me wonder what the parents do for a living everywhere around the US that they can afford to drop that amount for school. I'm a 1st Gen college graduate in my family and I have had a great career, but even I was gobsmacked when I started realizing the true cost of college compared to the 90s when I was in school. I literally had no idea how fast the costs had outpaced COL. Fortunately we have funds via cash flow to pay for kids to go to school, but not crazy money for a private. It's worrisome to see how kids are saddled with debt. How will the next generation get to go on to a higher education?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This might be the most out of touch thread on DCUM. And that’s saying something!

I know. It’s why so few are shocked that the op just figured this out. Instead they’re all patting themselves on the back for saving $300k per kid.

If you live in a small town or suburb in most of America your family home probably cost $350k 10 years ago (except the 10 major metro areas) and your family with 2-4 kids survives on a hhi of around $80k. If mom or dad went to college it was a in state public. There isn’t $500 a month per kid to sock away in a 529. And even if there was, the prevailing culture there is that it’s the parents job to get the kids through high school…after that they’re on their own. The dmv is a weird place.

These people go to school for free, almost anywhere in the T30 and up. They qualify for full aid. No need to save. These are the ones the ivies and such are chasing: rural areas especially in less-popular states, high-enough scoring 1480+ smart kids who maxed out their high school's rigor. And yet this group is the least likely to know about ivies or what benefits they can have on a smart kid from a middle class background.

[Anonymous]

That was me 20 years ago. My parents were highly educated and went to Ivy league schools. Except Ivy league was 3K per year all in the 1970s. My Dad's car was about the same cost. So it wasn't a stretch.

According to Google my Grandfather likely made 500K-2 million / year as an engineer. Which is the same or more than I make as a business owner.

In other words my Dad had no idea he had to save for the 60K/year in tuition other than in bonds. Those bonds were 10K 🤣