Parents, I’m sorry but you’ve got to teach your boys some manners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last night DS (7th grade) had a friend over after school, and he stayed for dinner. During dinner, I’m sorry, but this kid was just behaving in a way that was completely unacceptable. It wasn’t just bad table manners. He also said a lot of unkind things to me and DH, including saying my earrings were ugly and other things of that nature. This isn’t the only time something like this has happened with one of DS’s friends, either. I understand that it’s a difficult age, but I would never have dreamed of behaving this way when I was in middle school. I always feel so awkward disciplining someone else’s child, though! Parents of boys, PLEASE teach your sons some GD manners, because this is crossing the line. Completely. Okay, rant over.

Why are you apologizing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds fake and stop with the boy hate.

Fym by boy hate.

[Anonymous]

Simple. I'd never have that kid back to my house. That will also teach your kid to pick better friends.

[Anonymous]

Weird you would lump all boys together as a parent of a boy. DS had a few rude friends when younger but it wasn’t because they were boys. DD had some rude friends too. It is sometimes a parenting issue but also some of the kids I have known to behave this way had poor social skills due to being on the spectrum. These kids weren’t trying to be rude but don’t have the same filter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Simple. I'd never have that kid back to my house. That will also teach your kid to pick better friends.

So shortsighted. As your kids age, you really want them to hang out at your house as much as possible. That allows you to keep a low key on what type of kids they are and what they are doing. If they forget to say thank you when I put out snacks, I can live with that. If they are hanging out at some other persons house because I’m known as the mom that gets super mad about table manners, I have no idea who they are and what they are doing. My son’s friends are perfect but I know they aren’t doing drugs, drinking, or talking about girls like they are objects.
And really, they do have pretty good manners now at 16-17. They basically always say thanks for letting us hang out here, thanks for the snacks, etc.

[Anonymous]

I would have called the parents and had them pick him up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last night DS (7th grade) had a friend over after school, and he stayed for dinner. During dinner, I’m sorry, but this kid was just behaving in a way that was completely unacceptable. It wasn’t just bad table manners. He also said a lot of unkind things to me and DH, including saying my earrings were ugly and other things of that nature. This isn’t the only time something like this has happened with one of DS’s friends, either. I understand that it’s a difficult age, but I would never have dreamed of behaving this way when I was in middle school. I always feel so awkward disciplining someone else’s child, though! Parents of boys, PLEASE teach your sons some GD manners, because this is crossing the line. Completely. Okay, rant over.

Why are you apologizing?

I think you can safely assume that most people posting long rants online are at least a little drunk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have called the parents and had them pick him up

Damn. Some people are really sensitive about their earring choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a third grade teacher. Other things kids need to be taught and many aren't:

1. Don't ask an adult their age. Ever.
2. Don't tell an adult they "look tired" or "look sick."
3. In general don't ask nosy questions.

I do my best but I still just can't believe what has become of manners and decorum.

No kid ever tells an adult they look sick or tired. They don't care one wit about you. Adults do this to other people. It's an insult and designed to catch you off guard. Kids think you look old and terrible even on your best day. But there seems to be a thing with you that you're getting all these weird age and looks related questions. Why is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last night DS (7th grade) had a friend over after school, and he stayed for dinner. During dinner, I’m sorry, but this kid was just behaving in a way that was completely unacceptable. It wasn’t just bad table manners. He also said a lot of unkind things to me and DH, including saying my earrings were ugly and other things of that nature. This isn’t the only time something like this has happened with one of DS’s friends, either. I understand that it’s a difficult age, but I would never have dreamed of behaving this way when I was in middle school. I always feel so awkward disciplining someone else’s child, though! Parents of boys, PLEASE teach your sons some GD manners, because this is crossing the line. Completely. Okay, rant over.

What’s wrong with your son? What have you done to cause him to choose disrespectful friends?

[Anonymous]

Legends never die

[Anonymous]

Rude kids don't get invited back. Not that complicated.

Some parents seem to not explain that it is important to be on your best manners when with other families. We definitely saw this from both boys and girls when our kids were younger. Not my job to teach these kids how to behave--they might get a "Pardon me?" from me, but the end result would be they are just not coming over for dinner again.

The parents are the ones who created the monsters, so it is not worth discussing it with them. Some parents think it dims a child's light to tell them "no" or insist they behave a certain way. Unfortunately, they don't realize that sort of parenting starts to limit social opportunities by middle school if not before. I just use natural consequences--no more invites.

[Anonymous]

Go away, OP. I have only boys and I’ve never seen this behavior before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a third grade teacher. Other things kids need to be taught and many aren't:

1. Don't ask an adult their age. Ever.
2. Don't tell an adult they "look tired" or "look sick."
3. In general don't ask nosy questions.

I do my best but I still just can't believe what has become of manners and decorum.

All these are a far cry from saying your earrings are ugly. Don't lump merely curious remarks with patently rude and unnecessary ones. OP had a very strange child in her house, and she needs to alert his parents. I've never heard any child that age be so rude.

+1 many are rude to their own parents etc but to a friend's parents is very unusual and not in a gray area.

OP turning this into a gendered PSA is also ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my son's friend's used the f word when I was driving them in elementary school. I stopped at the next parking spot and turned around and said he would no longer be allowed in my car if he spoke like that again. He's 20 now, and still no cursing in front of me!

Jeez, that’s extreme. I want my kids friends to feel like they can talk in front of me without my policing them. You hear the best stuff when they are willing to talk in front of you!

I’m also not offended by the use of that particular f- word. If they use the n word, the r word or the other f word, then I’d have that conversation. I don’t care about off-color language but I do care about hurtful language.

+1

It's not my place to modulate the cursing of other kids. I'm not offended unless they are cursing AT someone or being mean or hurtful. Some kids in the backseat saying "That's f#king awesome!" ? Who GAF.

It’s such a common word I don’t know why anyone would judge a kid using it.