Parents, I’m sorry but you’ve got to teach your boys some manners

[Anonymous]

Last night DS (7th grade) had a friend over after school, and he stayed for dinner. During dinner, I’m sorry, but this kid was just behaving in a way that was completely unacceptable. It wasn’t just bad table manners. He also said a lot of unkind things to me and DH, including saying my earrings were ugly and other things of that nature. This isn’t the only time something like this has happened with one of DS’s friends, either. I understand that it’s a difficult age, but I would never have dreamed of behaving this way when I was in middle school. I always feel so awkward disciplining someone else’s child, though! Parents of boys, PLEASE teach your sons some GD manners, because this is crossing the line. Completely. Okay, rant over.

[Anonymous]

Cultural issues? I just can’t imagine anyone raising a kid like this.

[Anonymous]

Whiney whiney whiney. This behavior wouldn't fly at my W school.

[Anonymous]

Why would a 12/13 year old boy say your earrings are ugly?

[Anonymous]

So you feel the need to lecture all parents of boys in a random forum instead of talking to the boy's parents who you had over at your house?

Got it.

[Anonymous]

I'm a third grade teacher. Other things kids need to be taught and many aren't:

1. Don't ask an adult their age. Ever.
2. Don't tell an adult they "look tired" or "look sick."
3. In general don't ask nosy questions.

I do my best but I still just can't believe what has become of manners and decorum.

[Anonymous]

Girls too, though. I've been told a lot of really rude things by girls coming over for play dates. At certain ages I think it's normal for the age, they are testing to see what they can get away with. By 13 I expect them to say please and thank you, not insult me to my face, and be pleasant to my DD and the rest of the family. Otherwise no repeat invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a third grade teacher. Other things kids need to be taught and many aren't:

1. Don't ask an adult their age. Ever.
2. Don't tell an adult they "look tired" or "look sick."
3. In general don't ask nosy questions.

I do my best but I still just can't believe what has become of manners and decorum.

Yes, so many rude children.

What gets me is when they do this stuff right in front of parents and there is no reaction. I get waiting until you get home to have a larger conversation about manners, but you can correct in the moment, too. And yes, it might embarrass them a bit, and yes that is the point. They should be embarrassed by poor manners, that's how they learn to have better manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last night DS (7th grade) had a friend over after school, and he stayed for dinner. During dinner, I’m sorry, but this kid was just behaving in a way that was completely unacceptable. It wasn’t just bad table manners. He also said a lot of unkind things to me and DH, including saying my earrings were ugly and other things of that nature. This isn’t the only time something like this has happened with one of DS’s friends, either. I understand that it’s a difficult age, but I would never have dreamed of behaving this way when I was in middle school. I always feel so awkward disciplining someone else’s child, though! Parents of boys, PLEASE teach your sons some GD manners, because this is crossing the line. Completely. Okay, rant over.

Sounds like you’re raising a kid who gravitates to rude kids. What does that tell you?

[Anonymous]

I've had my share of ADHD, ASD, or simply rambunctious boys and girls in my house over the years, and I have NEVER had any child who said such things, OP.

I do not appreciate that you are haranguing an entire group of parents when your guest's behavior was clearly highly unusual. If this isn't the only friend of your son's who said rude things to you, guess who the common factor is?

Address this with the guest's parents and figure out why your son socializes with such kids.

Goodness.

[Anonymous]

I’ve had a lot of tweens/teens over to my house over the years and they’re generally really sweet and polite! I don’t think it’s fair of you to generalize and make this PSA from this one incident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a third grade teacher. Other things kids need to be taught and many aren't:

1. Don't ask an adult their age. Ever.
2. Don't tell an adult they "look tired" or "look sick."
3. In general don't ask nosy questions.

I do my best but I still just can't believe what has become of manners and decorum.

All these are a far cry from saying your earrings are ugly. Don't lump merely curious remarks with patently rude and unnecessary ones. OP had a very strange child in her house, and she needs to alert his parents. I've never heard any child that age be so rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last night DS (7th grade) had a friend over after school, and he stayed for dinner. During dinner, I’m sorry, but this kid was just behaving in a way that was completely unacceptable. It wasn’t just bad table manners. He also said a lot of unkind things to me and DH, including saying my earrings were ugly and other things of that nature. This isn’t the only time something like this has happened with one of DS’s friends, either. I understand that it’s a difficult age, but I would never have dreamed of behaving this way when I was in middle school. I always feel so awkward disciplining someone else’s child, though! Parents of boys, PLEASE teach your sons some GD manners, because this is crossing the line. Completely. Okay, rant over.

Sounds like you’re raising a kid who gravitates to rude kids. What does that tell you?

It's this. Nice kids have nice friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whiney whiney whiney. This behavior wouldn't fly at my W school.

😂

[Anonymous]

Sounds fake and stop with the boy hate.