Old friend (well of 10-15 years) is ghosting me and I don’t know why…

[Anonymous]

Are you sure she got the text?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Block her and let her wonder why you’re mad

She doesn't want to hear from op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There could have been a close death, she could have med issues, maybe she’s very hectic at work, her kids might have incredible issues, etc.

But she had time to go to lunch with a different mutual friend.

This is what I would do: call up this mutual friend and ask if she is ok because you are concerned.

Omg don’t be stalker ish. Leave the person alone! Move on.

This person was a good friend for years. It is not being a stalker to inquire after someone's wellbeing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There could have been a close death, she could have med issues, maybe she’s very hectic at work, her kids might have incredible issues, etc.

But she had time to go to lunch with a different mutual friend.

This is what I would do: call up this mutual friend and ask if she is ok because you are concerned.

Omg don’t be stalker ish. Leave the person alone! Move on.

This person was a good friend for years. It is not being a stalker to inquire after someone's wellbeing.

OP has been reaching out and has been ghosted. OP, have you asked specifically if everything is all right?

[Anonymous]

Your friendship has run its course. The end.

[Anonymous]

There are some very unbalanced people who hang out in this forum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are some very unbalanced people who hang out in this forum

+1. People who have zero social skills. Reaching out and asking if a person is ok hurts no one. If you don't get a response, then you know that person doesn't want to talk with you. If you do, then you can get back to rebuilding the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some very unbalanced people who hang out in this forum

+1. People who have zero social skills. Reaching out and asking if a person is ok hurts no one. If you don't get a response, then you know that person doesn't want to talk with you. If you do, then you can get back to rebuilding the relationship.

op already got no response from her friend -twice! Receive the message. It's weird to repeatedly contact someone who isn't responding. Op has done all they can, now wait for your friend to contact you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are some very unbalanced people who hang out in this forum

Agree. Weirdos. Angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some very unbalanced people who hang out in this forum

Agree. Weirdos. Angry.

You must not live in an environment where people ghost friends. OP has reached out and hasn't heard back. If she has specifically asked if everything is okay and still didn't hear back, especially given a mutual friend has gone out with the friend during this time, I'd say it is pretty clear OP is being ghosted. I'm not sure what is "angry" about this assessment.

Given OP's facts, what are you suggesting she do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There could have been a close death, she could have med issues, maybe she’s very hectic at work, her kids might have incredible issues, etc.

But she had time to go to lunch with a different mutual friend.

This is what I would do: call up this mutual friend and ask if she is ok because you are concerned.

Omg don’t be stalker ish. Leave the person alone! Move on.

This person was a good friend for years. It is not being a stalker to inquire after someone's wellbeing.

Wellbeing? Stop being so dramatic to rationalize double and triple texting and calling. Her friend is fine, as OP knows she went out to lunch with another mutual friend.

OP has to let it go. Maybe the friend will reach out in the future. Maybe not. DEMANDING to know what’s going on and why you’re being ghosted is unhinged.

[Anonymous]

I have ADHD and ghost people all the time on accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have ADHD and ghost people all the time on accident.

I bet you don't ghost anyone you really like and want to spend time with. Adhd notwithstanding, eventually you remember your mother or that hottie you're dating or your closest friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There could have been a close death, she could have med issues, maybe she’s very hectic at work, her kids might have incredible issues, etc.

But she had time to go to lunch with a different mutual friend.

So? Maybe that other friend is closer to her than OP. Maybe that other friend is going through something and the friend felt like she needed to be there for them. Maybe the other friend gives something to OP that she needs. Maybe that date just worked better.

The way I see it, OP can either decide to let the friendship go because she thinks she knows what's going on (i.e. she's being ghosted), she can continue to reach out to the friend and try to figure out what is going on, or she can take a beat and see if she runs into the friend somewhere or just try reaching out to her again in a bit.

I both take people's actions as indications of their feelings and grant them grace and will seek clarification sometimes. There's no right answer - different people are different, different friendships are different, different times of life are different. All OP can do is decide what she wants, and if she's ok letting the friendship die due to a possible miscommunication, that's fine. If she wants to try harder because she truly cares about this friendship, that's fine as well. Or if she wants to take a breath and then decide or see if something happens organically, that's fine as well. There is no reason to make a decision today that will impact the friendship forever (unless she wants to).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would think long and hard about this. Is she your "safe space" to talk about your issues. Do you ask for her help with any regularity? Then this could be about her finally feeling used.

However, if she is the one who is always asking for help, or you are her safe space to discuss her issues, then maybe she has moved beyond her problems and no longer wants to talk about them. Or she has moved beyond the time in life that you were a part of and she feels she no longer has anything to talk to you about. If that's the case, then she was just a situational friend.

Basically, if you think deeply about it, you will probably come up with the answer on your own.

+1