Old friend (well of 10-15 years) is ghosting me and I don’t know why…

[Anonymous]

She said she’s been busy at work and usually I’m pretty easy going about response time bc I know everyone is busy, but it still feels strange and like I’m being ‘slow faded’ as DCUM calls it.

She simply doesn’t respond to my texts for days and even weeks at a time. I don’t quite know what I’ve done.

As one example of many, last week I texted her about something- no response- and I also asked if she wanted to have lunch. No response.

But then I heard through a former colleague that we have both known for a few years that she met him for lunch last week. (Def not romantic).

Would you ask? Let it go?

[Anonymous]

Just call her and see what she’s been up to. If you value the friendship and are feeling slighted, you should let her know.

[Anonymous]

It's impossible for us to give insight based on the limited info. Why does she owe you her free time?

[Anonymous]

I would reach out and ask if everything is ok. Maybe she’s been going through a tough time and can’t keep up. Not everything is about you.

[Anonymous]

My close friend of longer than that ghosted me suddenly during an illness. When I reached out to say I was hurt, she got defensive and ghosted me again. This time forever. Still hurts years later.

[Anonymous]

Let her make the next contact. Maybe she's slow fading or maybe she doesn't have time/bandwidth for socializing right now. Give her space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would reach out and ask if everything is ok. Maybe she’s been going through a tough time and can’t keep up. Not everything is about you.

Yes, that may be it. In the past, she’s reached out for support during rough patches, so I don’t know why this has been different, if that’s it, that is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's impossible for us to give insight based on the limited info. Why does she owe you her free time?

Are you always this weird and angry?

[Anonymous]

Reach out. And then just give her time. And reach out again.

I have what is likely chronic fatigue syndrome and so I have slow faded pretty much every friend without intending to do so. So grateful for those who haven't assumed I didn't want to be their friend anymore and stuck with me for months or even years when I made excuse after excuse to not meet up. It was never about them.

[Anonymous]

Right now I'm ghosting friends who are taking more than they are giving.

[Anonymous]

Im sorry OP. Cant advise on her reasoning but you aren’t alone in your experience.

I feel like everyone I know is slow fading. I’m returning the lack of effort and letting things die because the ambiguity is too stressful. I’d rather have no friends than constantly worrying about where I stand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right now I'm ghosting friends who are taking more than they are giving.

This!

[Anonymous]

Why are you posting here instead of picking up the phone and asking her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you posting here instead of picking up the phone and asking her?

She already said she's getting no response. The correct thing to do is let it go, not stalk and harass by phone. That doesn't mean one can't notice a friendship died.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you posting here instead of picking up the phone and asking her?

She already said she's getting no response. The correct thing to do is let it go, not stalk and harass by phone. That doesn't mean one can't notice a friendship died.

Can you read? She texted. Not nearly the same as a phone call.