It’s not prioritizing donuts over physical activity. It’s most importantly the amount of time, and secondly, the purpose of the activity. Getting food for the kids is different than going to the gym for yourself which could be done later in the day when you don’t have another child in the home. |
Your argument that it's OK to leave them alone to get donuts but not OK for the gym is....dumb. It's either OK to leave them or it's not. You could take them along to get donuts if so inclined. You must really like donuts, but hate to break it to you they aren't essential. |
It's OK for moms to prioritize their health. It really is. |
I leave my kids home alone all the time (youngest is now 8, but we started for very short times (less than 10 minutes) at 7. Anyway, I never leave the kids home with friends alone without knowing the kid myself really well, and running it by the parents. This is true of even my oldest who is a teenager. Kids together with friends are WAY less capable of making good decisions.
But…I know I might be an outlier it both leaving my kids home and not leaving friends home without supervision. So I wouldn’t expect another parent to have the same expectations. I think it would be good to have a conversation with this parent about how you were uncomfortable with it and then leave it be |
I have never had any 9 year olds in 5th grade. -former 5th grade teacher |
It’s not about donuts vs the gym; it’s about leaving the kids alone for an hr+ while you’re at the gym vs 10 mins or less while you run to the grocery store a few blocks away to get donuts (I live 3 mins from grocery store where we get donuts and I would definitely be back in less than 10 mins—we’ve done it many times running to the store quickly) |
+1 |
I would provide feedback to the mom, like please let me know next time so I can pick up early. Since there's been several sleepovers she would probably wonder why you suddenly are declining. |
It really is ok to prioritize the health and safety of 9 year-olds entrusted in your care. |
+1 But, I would not leave my 9 yr old home alone for more than an hour. And I grew up as a latch key kid since the age of 8. |
dp.. yea, there's a diff. Going to get donuts takes like 30min. Most people go to the gym for 1+ hours. Most people would be ok with leaving your baby to cry for 5min because you were in the shower, or you are driving. But, if you let your baby cry for 5min just because you want to go online shopping and can't be bothered? yea, most people would judge you for it. |
Unless it’s an emergency, it doesn’t really matter why you left. The kids are either mature enough to be home or they’re not. Arguing that donuts is a necessary reason to leave is silly. If something happens while you’re grabbing donuts, people are going to judge that too. I’m not certain when purchasing donuts became a necessity like showering. |
I was nine going into 5th grade - fall birthday. |
Depends on how mature they are. Some kids are mature and responsible by that age and it's fine. |
Why did you even have kids then? |