9yr old girls left home alone at sleepover

[Anonymous]

The mom shouldn't have done that without asking you. But here's some perspective: when I was 10 I got paid to babysit an infant (1980s). I don't recommend doing that, but I wouldn't be bothered leaving my 9 year old alone for an hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised by the replies in here actually. 9yo are 4th/5th grade absolutely capable of being home alone.

I have never had any 9 year olds in 5th grade.

-former 5th grade teacher

I was nine going into 5th grade - fall birthday.

Same. I was briefly 9 going into fifth grade as well.

When school cutoffs are set after the first day of school, there will be a few kids that are 9 at the start of the year. They won't be 9 for long, but it does happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised by the replies in here actually. 9yo are 4th/5th grade absolutely capable of being home alone.

They’re not old enough to be able to handle emergencies. Kids do stuff like fall off playgrounds / climbing trees and break an arm and they’re more likely to do that stuff when they’re playing and not zoned out in front of a tv. A gym visit is an hour not a 5 minute milk run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you're really overreacting here. You don't actually know what happened. My 7 year old tells everyone that I leave her every morning before school to go to my office. She leaves out that my office is in the hallway across from our kitchen, and I get an hour of work done before I wake the kids. She also tells people that I have left her to go to the gym since she was a baby. Ummm our gym is in our basement, and yes, i used to work out (w/ a baby monitor in there) when she was napping as an infant. Anyways, I'd see what the actual story is.
I wouldn't have an issue leaving my own 9/10 year old home alone to go to the gym, but I have alwasy been much stricter about not leaving guests in our house without an adult there.

Op went to the house to pick up her daughter and the girls were alone. That’s the actual story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty shocked by the responses -I think of myself as a bit of a helicopter mom, but I think it’s totally fine for two 9 year olds to be home alone at 10am! Is your daughter especially immature? Do either of the girls have special needs? What were you afraid would happen? I thought this post was going to be about leaving them alone at night! I would be more comfortable leaving kids with friends vs alone at that age - they can hang out together and one could call me for help or call 911 or whatever if there was an emergency. They were probably watching TV in their pajamas and barely noticed the mom was gone. I do think the mom should have let you know when coordinating pick up time, but it probably never occurred to her that you would have a problem!

9 year old boys on the other hand…my son was a total handful at that age, but it probably depends on the kid.

How can they call 911? Do they have a landline at home? I don’t know a single person who does, not even my relatives in their 70s-90s do.

iPads? Watches? Every 9yo in my daughter’s social circle has some sort of watch with the ability to call home. The kids walk themselves to/from school and around the neighborhood to see friends starting around age 8. My oldest won’t get a phone till HS, but even my 6 year old could call 911 from one of many devices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty shocked by the responses -I think of myself as a bit of a helicopter mom, but I think it’s totally fine for two 9 year olds to be home alone at 10am! Is your daughter especially immature? Do either of the girls have special needs? What were you afraid would happen? I thought this post was going to be about leaving them alone at night! I would be more comfortable leaving kids with friends vs alone at that age - they can hang out together and one could call me for help or call 911 or whatever if there was an emergency. They were probably watching TV in their pajamas and barely noticed the mom was gone. I do think the mom should have let you know when coordinating pick up time, but it probably never occurred to her that you would have a problem!

9 year old boys on the other hand…my son was a total handful at that age, but it probably depends on the kid.

How can they call 911? Do they have a landline at home? I don’t know a single person who does, not even my relatives in their 70s-90s do.

iPads? Watches? Every 9yo in my daughter’s social circle has some sort of watch with the ability to call home. The kids walk themselves to/from school and around the neighborhood to see friends starting around age 8. My oldest won’t get a phone till HS, but even my 6 year old could call 911 from one of many devices.

I know 9 year olds who bike or walk to school, but none of them have phones or smart watches, and I doubt they could call from an iPad unless that feature is set up somehow. Mine is on an iPad 5x/week but doesn’t know how to call out from an iPad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would ask the mother why the girls were left alone and remind her that it’s not legal.

It’s legal in Maryland. Not sure where you live.
I leave my 9 year old home alone but I would never do it with another child in the house unless I asked.

+1. I don’t even leave my 13 year old home if there’s another child in the house. You’re responsible if anyone goes wrong. That said, it is legal and leaving two 9 yos home alone for an hour is very unlikely to lead to tragic consequences so I woudn’t hammer the parent who left them. Just don’t do play dates there anymore if you’re uncomfortable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised by the replies in here actually. 9yo are 4th/5th grade absolutely capable of being home alone.

They’re not old enough to be able to handle emergencies. Kids do stuff like fall off playgrounds / climbing trees and break an arm and they’re more likely to do that stuff when they’re playing and not zoned out in front of a tv. A gym visit is an hour not a 5 minute milk run.

If your kid falls off their bike while riding to a neighborhood friend’s house (something my 9 yo does), it’s not like an adult will always be magically in the street hovering to take care of the situation. we let kids live life anyway to our definition of acceptable risk.

I don’t agree with what the mom did because it’s not nice to leave kids that aren’t your own alone without permission of that kid’s parent. But leaving a kid at home at 10 am isn’t that risky.

[Anonymous]

Surprised by these responses. I’ve totally left 8-9 year olds at my house while I walk the dog or grab my grocery order. They can always call me from their watches or iPads or Alexa…the mom probably wanted to get to a class and left a few minutes early.

[Anonymous]

My kid wouldn't be going back.