dp.. yea, there's a diff. Going to get donuts takes like 30min. Most people go to the gym for 1+ hours. Most people would be ok with leaving your baby to cry for 5min because you were in the shower, or you are driving. But, if you let your baby cry for 5min just because you want to go online shopping and can't be bothered? yea, most people would judge you for it. |
Unless it’s an emergency, it doesn’t really matter why you left. The kids are either mature enough to be home or they’re not. Arguing that donuts is a necessary reason to leave is silly. If something happens while you’re grabbing donuts, people are going to judge that too. I’m not certain when purchasing donuts became a necessity like showering. |
I was nine going into 5th grade - fall birthday. |
Depends on how mature they are. Some kids are mature and responsible by that age and it's fine. |
Why did you even have kids then? |
Of course you say something. Its bad she did this but so much worse she didn't even run it by you or say she might head out to gym. You need to say something. Also did you ask your kid if they have been left home alone before? |
Yes, I would say something. I would say that I was surprised not to see her when I came for pick up and to be told that she wasn’t home. I would say that at nine, my preference is for my daughter, not to be without an adult in the house and next time you’re happy to host if she or another adult can’t be at home when your daughter is there. |
Gmab. Different poster but this is why parenting has become miserable and kids helpless and insecure. Most 8 year olds are fine with unsupervised time and in fact it’s very important for their development! And yes, it’s legal. Many of us roamed the neighborhood at that age (without cellphones!)It’s entirely appropriate. I agree the host mom should have checked with mom first but this is a tempest in a teapot imo. |
OP I think you're really overreacting here. You don't actually know what happened. My 7 year old tells everyone that I leave her every morning before school to go to my office. She leaves out that my office is in the hallway across from our kitchen, and I get an hour of work done before I wake the kids. She also tells people that I have left her to go to the gym since she was a baby. Ummm our gym is in our basement, and yes, i used to work out (w/ a baby monitor in there) when she was napping as an infant. Anyways, I'd see what the actual story is.
I wouldn't have an issue leaving my own 9/10 year old home alone to go to the gym, but I have alwasy been much stricter about not leaving guests in our house without an adult there. |
I’m pretty shocked by the responses -I think of myself as a bit of a helicopter mom, but I think it’s totally fine for two 9 year olds to be home alone at 10am! Is your daughter especially immature? Do either of the girls have special needs? What were you afraid would happen? I thought this post was going to be about leaving them alone at night! I would be more comfortable leaving kids with friends vs alone at that age - they can hang out together and one could call me for help or call 911 or whatever if there was an emergency. They were probably watching TV in their pajamas and barely noticed the mom was gone. I do think the mom should have let you know when coordinating pick up time, but it probably never occurred to her that you would have a problem!
9 year old boys on the other hand…my son was a total handful at that age, but it probably depends on the kid. |
+1 |
This is a great advice and way to approach this issue. |
How can they call 911? Do they have a landline at home? I don’t know a single person who does, not even my relatives in their 70s-90s do. |
They don’t have have do it when 9 year old guests are visiting. She could have waited an hour and gone to the gym after pick up. Really, you don’t think it’s weird at all to invite a 9 year old for a sleepover and then run off to the gym in the morning? |
9 is 3rd grade! |