What to do with a parent that says bad things about your kid on the sidelines during games?

[Anonymous]

"The irony of it all was that our coach called my kid out at halftime and after as the best player out there and that everyone else should be working as hard as she was." My kids play soccer at high levels and have played many other sports. We've seen a variety of coaches and I've coached and played many sports as well. Here's a tip: Coaches usually praise the kids that NEED praising; otherwise, they know that kid will shut down because they aren't mentally tough. Did that happen here? Maybe. May be not. But you seemed to try to create this vision of your child being a star based on some hearsay praise from the coach, when possibly, she really isn't a star. Coach is just trying to help her get through the game. In other words, the best player USUALLY doesn't need praise, the weaker ones do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"The irony of it all was that our coach called my kid out at halftime and after as the best player out there and that everyone else should be working as hard as she was." My kids play soccer at high levels and have played many other sports. We've seen a variety of coaches and I've coached and played many sports as well. Here's a tip: Coaches usually praise the kids that NEED praising; otherwise, they know that kid will shut down because they aren't mentally tough. Did that happen here? Maybe. May be not. But you seemed to try to create this vision of your child being a star based on some hearsay praise from the coach, when possibly, she really isn't a star. Coach is just trying to help her get through the game. In other words, the best player USUALLY doesn't need praise, the weaker ones do.

Love this response. Fellow Coach here, I have had 1 or 2 super insecure parents before... I can see something like this driving them crazy. OP, you know what they say, is you ASSUME something, you make an ASS out of U and ME. Stop assuming, get the facts or get help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"The irony of it all was that our coach called my kid out at halftime and after as the best player out there and that everyone else should be working as hard as she was." My kids play soccer at high levels and have played many other sports. We've seen a variety of coaches and I've coached and played many sports as well. Here's a tip: Coaches usually praise the kids that NEED praising; otherwise, they know that kid will shut down because they aren't mentally tough. Did that happen here? Maybe. May be not. But you seemed to try to create this vision of your child being a star based on some hearsay praise from the coach, when possibly, she really isn't a star. Coach is just trying to help her get through the game. In other words, the best player USUALLY doesn't need praise, the weaker ones do.

No, this was not the case. They were playing the top opponent in league + my kid (a mid) was dishing to forwards left and right + had an assist. She played 80% of the game. Big ears kid played 15% of the game as a defender when the score was 3-0.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd want to investigate further because in sports "bad" could be "He needs to get right. GET RIGHT! Guard him!" or it could be "That kid needs to sit out. Get #11 off the field. What a waste of a defender!"

I think the former is OK and the later is obviously beyond the pale.

I'd sit near that dad next time and listen. And if he's being rude I'd say to him at the half or end, "Hey Paul, I'm Larlo's mom, he's #11. I wanna let you know we don't speak negatively about the kids sports as a general rule, so when you say X, Y and Z about my son, I take issue with it. Do you think you can stop?"

So obnoxious. He doesn’t care that you “take issue with it,” Karen.
If you want to let him know you know, that’s fine. But telling him you are offended is dumb and invites an argument. And don’t ask questions like “do you think you can stop?”
Just tell him “Larlo overheard you speaking about my DD when she was out in the field. Please be mindful not to criticize the players when you’re in the stands. They are just kids out here and they don’t need to hear parents speaking poorly about their teammates.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd want to investigate further because in sports "bad" could be "He needs to get right. GET RIGHT! Guard him!" or it could be "That kid needs to sit out. Get #11 off the field. What a waste of a defender!"

I think the former is OK and the later is obviously beyond the pale.

I'd sit near that dad next time and listen. And if he's being rude I'd say to him at the half or end, "Hey Paul, I'm Larlo's mom, he's #11. I wanna let you know we don't speak negatively about the kids sports as a general rule, so when you say X, Y and Z about my son, I take issue with it. Do you think you can stop?"

So obnoxious. He doesn’t care that you “take issue with it,” Karen.
If you want to let him know you know, that’s fine. But telling him you are offended is dumb and invites an argument. And don’t ask questions like “do you think you can stop?”
Just tell him “Larlo overheard you speaking about my DD when she was out in the field. Please be mindful not to criticize the players when you’re in the stands. They are just kids out here and they don’t need to hear parents speaking poorly about their teammates.”

I'm thinking about sitting next to the guy next game and say things like "wow, amazing consistency" at my kid (since this seemed to be his major call out last game).

The irony is big ears kid lost one of our only games this season in the last minute dorking around with the ball in front of the goal, losing it, + allowing the other team to score + win. This seems like the definition of inconsistency to me. Nobody called his kid out after or during the game.

I don't know. It's been a couple of days and I'm less heated. I still think the guy is major loser but it's not likely he's going to change when called out. More likely he'll just say nasty things behind my back to whoever will listen.

[Anonymous]

You have the moral high ground now that you posted this last message. Luck favors the bold and anonymous so no losers here

[Anonymous]

Sounds more like the original poster is delusional about his kid if he needs to come here for justification. The post also seems very judgmental of someone he doesn’t even know. Are you the guy who watches every practice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have the moral high ground now that you posted this last message. Luck favors the bold and anonymous so no losers here

Yep, the OP is clearly toxic, mocking some poor kid's appearance on the internet. This thread is a trainwreck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have the moral high ground now that you posted this last message. Luck favors the bold and anonymous so no losers here

What throws me off about the guy is that he hangs out with the mom's (not the dad's) during practice and games. It's just weird. I'm not sure what to make of him outside of being a loser. What man buddies up with the mom's?

[Anonymous]

LOL. It’s kind of rich that you’re mad at a kid for trash talking your DD and now you’re trash talking him online (and I assume to others). Who cares?! Find something more worthy of your time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have the moral high ground now that you posted this last message. Luck favors the bold and anonymous so no losers here

What throws me off about the guy is that he hangs out with the mom's (not the dad's) during practice and games. It's just weird. I'm not sure what to make of him outside of being a loser. What man buddies up with the mom's?

I’m pp and didn’t read the thread but it’s hilarious that you’re doubling down on trash talking a child in the pp. Never change DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have the moral high ground now that you posted this last message. Luck favors the bold and anonymous so no losers here

Yep, the OP is clearly toxic, mocking some poor kid's appearance on the internet. This thread is a trainwreck.

The dad that was saying negative things about my kid has big ears. It's how my kids friend was able to point him out. Do we have to ignore Dumbos ears just to be socially acceptable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have the moral high ground now that you posted this last message. Luck favors the bold and anonymous so no losers here

What throws me off about the guy is that he hangs out with the mom's (not the dad's) during practice and games. It's just weird. I'm not sure what to make of him outside of being a loser. What man buddies up with the mom's?

I’m pp and didn’t read the thread but it’s hilarious that you’re doubling down on trash talking a child in the pp. Never change DCUM!

I'm talking about a parent not a child numbbuts.

[Anonymous]

OP proceeds to heckle the dad as weird because he talks to women? Brags about his players success on the field? That’s very weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP proceeds to heckle the dad as weird because he talks to women? Brags about his players success on the field? That’s very weird.

Yeah, huge misogynist. Toxic guy I’d stay away from.