What to do with a parent that says bad things about your kid on the sidelines during games?

[Anonymous]

Can someone from your club send an email to the entire team, reminding everyone not to speak negatively about other children on the sidelines or at any other time. I have seen this work well.

[Anonymous]

People are entitled to their opinions intent they?

[Anonymous]

I would personally sit next to them every game, put them on the spot without telling them. I can assure you they will not say anything about your kid.

[Anonymous]

I was with you until I got to the part about how the dad is weird and hangs out with the other moms more than dads. That’s irrelevant and makes me wonder about you. Grow up; this isn’t middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:During our last game one of my kids friends sat next to a parent that said multiple bad things outloud to other parents about my kid. Obviously he didn't know the kid sitting next to him was listening to everything he said. Also the parents he spoke to didn't respond.

The irony of it all was that our coach called my kid out at halftime and after as the best player out there and that everyone else should be working as hard as she was. She also had an assist + as a mid was making plays happen left and right.

Complainers kid is coming off a dubious injury and getting very little minutes.

How should I handle this situation? If at all. Also the guy is weird + hangs out with the moms more than the dad's at games and practices.

These things happen. You need to take soccer with the whole package. You think the Pros out there (even worst in Europe ) don't get criticized or even worst (get insulted) every weekend? I would not bother. There are always haters anywhere you go and sometimes they will just pick on you probably because you are better than them.

[Anonymous]

The soccer parent rule is simple: Complaining about your own kid is ok, If talking about another kid on your team, only say “good job”.

You can (quietly) say how the other team’s players are dirty/bad/have no skills, but never loud enough to be unavoidably heard by the other team’s parents. The magic halfway line protects anyone from ever hearing anything said, don’t violate that.

Oh and everyone can complain about the coach/refs!

[Anonymous]

This whole thread is why soccer sucks in DMV. No one is bashing anyones kid, they are not that important, get over yourselves. If you hear something critical being discussed with your sonic hearing its all based in soccer decisions on the field. Not anyone value or self worth.

My advice since day one- find a ball and a wall for your kid and get your feelings out of the way. They simply just need time to get better with the ball not mommy and daddy sleuthing haters out on the bleachers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is why soccer sucks in DMV. No one is bashing anyones kid, they are not that important, get over yourselves. If you hear something critical being discussed with your sonic hearing its all based in soccer decisions on the field. Not anyone value or self worth.

My advice since day one- find a ball and a wall for your kid and get your feelings out of the way. They simply just need time to get better with the ball not mommy and daddy sleuthing haters out on the bleachers

Not in the dc area and it must be nice to have your head burried in the sand so far. There absolutely are parents bashing teammates for either legitimate or jealousy reasons, but your post tells me you haven't been in the club soccer world for long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was with you until I got to the part about how the dad is weird and hangs out with the other moms more than dads. That’s irrelevant and makes me wonder about you. Grow up; this isn’t middle school.

This. Most of what you wrote, OP, makes you sound just as bad. You weren't even there, so who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"KEEP MY KIDS NAME OUT OF YOUR ****ING MOUTH"

This is what i want to say.

My kids friend told her what the dad was saying. My kid is planning to tell her teamate what her dad was saying.

There was one thing kind of funny that came out of the entire situation. My kids friend didn't know who the guy was that was saying negative things. So she described him as "the big fat guy with a beard and really long ears". As soon as she said that everyone know who she was talking about.

Are you 12? You can't be serious with this. Grow up. You're stirring up trouble where there isn't even any. You weren't there, didn't hear anything, and are now trying to make a huge problem. Good Lord.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is why soccer sucks in DMV. No one is bashing anyones kid, they are not that important, get over yourselves. If you hear something critical being discussed with your sonic hearing its all based in soccer decisions on the field. Not anyone value or self worth.

My advice since day one- find a ball and a wall for your kid and get your feelings out of the way. They simply just need time to get better with the ball not mommy and daddy sleuthing haters out on the bleachers

Not in the dc area and it must be nice to have your head burried in the sand so far. There absolutely are parents bashing teammates for either legitimate or jealousy reasons, but your post tells me you haven't been in the club soccer world for long.

Year 10, 2 kids, 2 states. ECNL and GA. Think I know my experience and speaking about this region on DCUM but everyone is so darn polite that few have the gaul to say much of anything that is not positive out loud. PA, NJ, out West the parents I found to be less polite.

Now, I'm curious though tell us what state is this rampant bashing happening in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd want to investigate further because in sports "bad" could be "He needs to get right. GET RIGHT! Guard him!" or it could be "That kid needs to sit out. Get #11 off the field. What a waste of a defender!"

I think the former is OK and the later is obviously beyond the pale.

I'd sit near that dad next time and listen. And if he's being rude I'd say to him at the half or end, "Hey Paul, I'm Larlo's mom, he's #11. I wanna let you know we don't speak negatively about the kids sports as a general rule, so when you say X, Y and Z about my son, I take issue with it. Do you think you can stop?"

I would have to work hard not to punch you if you talked to me like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is why soccer sucks in DMV. No one is bashing anyones kid, they are not that important, get over yourselves. If you hear something critical being discussed with your sonic hearing its all based in soccer decisions on the field. Not anyone value or self worth.

My advice since day one- find a ball and a wall for your kid and get your feelings out of the way. They simply just need time to get better with the ball not mommy and daddy sleuthing haters out on the bleachers

Not in the dc area and it must be nice to have your head burried in the sand so far. There absolutely are parents bashing teammates for either legitimate or jealousy reasons, but your post tells me you haven't been in the club soccer world for long.

Year 10, 2 kids, 2 states. ECNL and GA. Think I know my experience and speaking about this region on DCUM but everyone is so darn polite that few have the gaul to say much of anything that is not positive out loud. PA, NJ, out West the parents I found to be less polite.

Now, I'm curious though tell us what state is this rampant bashing happening in?

Hah, i'll give you credit, I'm in one of those regions I've been lucky to not be personally involved, but I see it ALL the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"KEEP MY KIDS NAME OUT OF YOUR ****ING MOUTH"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is why soccer sucks in DMV. No one is bashing anyones kid, they are not that important, get over yourselves. If you hear something critical being discussed with your sonic hearing its all based in soccer decisions on the field. Not anyone value or self worth.

My advice since day one- find a ball and a wall for your kid and get your feelings out of the way. They simply just need time to get better with the ball not mommy and daddy sleuthing haters out on the bleachers

Not in the dc area and it must be nice to have your head burried in the sand so far. There absolutely are parents bashing teammates for either legitimate or jealousy reasons, but your post tells me you haven't been in the club soccer world for long.

Year 10, 2 kids, 2 states. ECNL and GA. Think I know my experience and speaking about this region on DCUM but everyone is so darn polite that few have the gaul to say much of anything that is not positive out loud. PA, NJ, out West the parents I found to be less polite.

Now, I'm curious though tell us what state is this rampant bashing happening in?

Not talking $hit about 12 year olds has nothing to do with polite. It's basic deceny.
Like in line with supporting human rights.

Nothing that happens on a youth soccer fiels warrants a random parent speaking unkindly to another parent about a child. Not a single thing.

However, I am with the crowd that if you didn't hear it and your kid didn't hear it, then move on. If your kid hears it, you stand up for them by going directly to the parent and telling them to stop. If you hear it you do the same, only in the moment. I've had this happen once. I confronted the parent privately and they were extremely embarrassed and never did it again.