Honestly don’t know what to say to my Trumper parents; brother likely losing job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly if you haven’t confronted them about the fact that they voted for this and caused it, you are a better person than me.

OP here. I have confronted them. My dad and I have had two big fights over it. But honestly I don’t want our family to be divided in part because I know that is what Donald Trump and MAGA *want.* I know they want us to stop talking, understanding, caring for and respecting each other. I’ve made the case many times that this is not about Democrat vs. Republican, that this is about Trump/MAGA, which I consider to be a different entity from the Republican Party. But anyway, we’ve fought, and it doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t make either of us change our minds.

I don’t want to fight more, especially since my aunt—my Dad’s only sibling—died very recently, and I know that life is very short. But he and my mom know I’m angry and hold them accountable. I just don’t want all this to take over the limited time we have left.

Sounds like you have your answer. OP.

[Anonymous]

Same. Both DH and I are feds. One of our DCs i an SN. Thank you, "loving grandparents" for voting for this POS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They were duped. However, until they own up to it and make an effort to show that they want to work to unravel the mess they contributed to, I’d cut them off.

How exactly would OP’s elderly parents do that, pls give specifics. In similar boat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad is going on and on about how worried he is; my brother is a fed and will likely be fired soon. Mom and Dad call and Dad especially goes on and on about how worried he is and how unfair it is and how HE is on pins and needles over this. I want to scream at them to keep their “worries” to themselves since they brought this on themselves. They voted for this! They went into a booth and chose this. And the only reason why they care at all is because it’s their son; they don’t care about the thousands upon thousands of other people who have been or will be unjustly fired. I honestly want nothing to do with them right now. I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t think I can get through one more phone call. I certainly am not inviting them to visit.

Just tell them you are glad Trump is reducing the government! All those lazy Feds and contractors have been stealing from us for all these years. Say you saw on Fox that musk is saving billions!

I like you! Yes. Your father won't know what to say back and will likely shut the eff up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You say, "This is YOUR fault because you voted for Trump." That's what you say. Don't scream. But say that, over and over.

This. Don't bite your tongue, OP. Be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad is going on and on about how worried he is; my brother is a fed and will likely be fired soon. Mom and Dad call and Dad especially goes on and on about how worried he is and how unfair it is and how HE is on pins and needles over this. I want to scream at them to keep their “worries” to themselves since they brought this on themselves. They voted for this! They went into a booth and chose this. And the only reason why they care at all is because it’s their son; they don’t care about the thousands upon thousands of other people who have been or will be unjustly fired. I honestly want nothing to do with them right now. I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t think I can get through one more phone call. I certainly am not inviting them to visit.

“You voted for this. You voted for this to happen to your own son, to thousands of other people, and to cause immeasurable harm to the nation. You voted for this, and until you are ready to actively do something about it, I don’t ever want to hear a word from you again.”

[Anonymous]

At least your parents seem concerned. My (Fed) coworker’s MAGA parents keep sending him articles about DOGE telling him that Muskrat is doing God’s work. He has blocked them now for his own sanity.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if you could say, I wish you would call your congressperson and tell them you expect more oversight and to stop dismantling the government.

I get not wanting to fight. So maybe trying to channel them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your parents voted for what they perceived to be the good of the country.

They are now worried it may lead to their son's job loss because he was doing work that paid well, but the taxpayers really do not need it.
Many people / families are in the same boat.
Many of the federal jobs are not really necessary unfortunately.
It's hard for me to dis-respect the people who voted against their own self-interest.

I would try to make contingency plans with them about supporting him financially while he looks for other work or makes plan to move out of the region.

Are billions of dollars in contracts for Musk needed? I’d rather have NPS workers maintaining parks and USFS putting out fires than pay for $400m in cybertrucks, just sayin’.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if you could say, I wish you would call your congressperson and tell them you expect more oversight and to stop dismantling the government.

I get not wanting to fight. So maybe trying to channel them?

Newsflash: Congress doesn’t care

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"But Dad, this is what Trump said he would do. And you voted for him. I assumed you wanted brother to lose his job. You're prepared to support him financially, right? For the good of the country?"

That would at least give them something to do. Or ask them to help find your brother a job.

[Anonymous]

Make them say it. Make them say that they thought he'd leave the WHITE people alone and only go after the BROWN and BLACK people. Make. Them. Admit. It.

And then wash your hands of them. You can't reason with them. You can't convince them that what they believe is wrong. You can't provide proof to refute their claims because to them it's Fake News.

That's what I've done with my Maga family members. Sorry you're struggling. This is a good lesson that actions have consequences. That's all I've been saying when they text asking for money because FK THAT NONSENSE. You don't get to vote for Trump and then ask me for a handout.

[Anonymous]

You’ve told them you blame them. So you now just have to say “I’m not discussing this with you” and then you talk about other stuff (or don’t talk). You can also suggest your dad get a therapist or discuss anxiety meds with his doctor. But you have to make clear you are not his emotional support on this topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly if you haven’t confronted them about the fact that they voted for this and caused it, you are a better person than me.

OP here. I have confronted them. My dad and I have had two big fights over it. But honestly I don’t want our family to be divided in part because I know that is what Donald Trump and MAGA *want.* I know they want us to stop talking, understanding, caring for and respecting each other. I’ve made the case many times that this is not about Democrat vs. Republican, that this is about Trump/MAGA, which I consider to be a different entity from the Republican Party. But anyway, we’ve fought, and it doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t make either of us change our minds.

I don’t want to fight more, especially since my aunt—my Dad’s only sibling—died very recently, and I know that life is very short. But he and my mom know I’m angry and hold them accountable. I just don’t want all this to take over the limited time we have left.

You don’t have to let it take over, but you also don’t have to brush it away, either. Nor would it work even if you tried. Your parents did a thing that had life altering consequences for your brother. Presumably it wasn’t done with malice toward him directly, but it was certainly done with reckless indifference. Your brother’s career may never recover and he may be on a lower trajectory permanently. Not to be catastrophic, but this is just reality. You are right to be mad and disappointed in them.

If you want a relationship, you need to accept that your parents are flawed people, and your feelings are valid and justified. The relationship isn’t going to be the same. But it can still be loving and rewarding if you keep your expectations low for them and follow your gut on what feels right to you. No doubt your parents will be asking for forgiveness or absolution. You just say “I’m not prepared to give you that right now” and you want to move on to another subject.

[Anonymous]

My best friend ended up cutting off her parents. She tried redirecting but they wanted to talk a out their Tru.p worship all the time. It really is a cult.