13yo sleepover without meeting the parents?
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Anonymous
It’s not full proof and of course people can lie, but it at least gives you some sort of baseline. There’s likely a different vibe from a parent lying (and probably defensive/giving a basic “no” as an answer) vs a parent who comes off as really forthcoming. E.g. someone who says “We do have a firearm in the home because my spouse is a LEO and we make sure to lock it up in a biometric safe” or an empathic “no, we are not a gun household” who seems open to questions is going to give me a better feeling than someone who is vague, seems put off by my questions, etc. It’s not perfect, but it’s helpful to know if this is a parent whose style you click with. |
Anonymous
No Why in The world would you. We teach kids stranger danger and then you shove them over night to a place you have never been. And no one say I’m nuts my kids led very free lives metro by themselves buses freedom on bikes no sleepovers |
Anonymous
| Yes- you can call mom rather than text if you have additional worries. |
Anonymous
| No. And I have boys. Still no. |
Anonymous
This! |
Anonymous
I have a boy who is 7 years older than my DD. She is still young now, but this has crossed my mind as a concern for when she is a bit older and has a teen brother in the home. It sucks that the world works this way, but I also sort of get it if that gives families pause. Especially since in my experience there can be a disconnect in families where family A’s youngest is the same age as family B’s oldest because they may be in different stages of life and if you’ve only ever had young kids then having a teen could seem like a gamble. |
Anonymous
| I feel like a lot of parents here in this thread should be less worried about the what ifs at a sleepover, and more worried about the anxiety disorder they are likely giving their children by treating every mundane activity like a potential death trap. |
Anonymous
DP but it came out many years later that a friend's brother was molesting his sister's friend at sleepovers. My parents did not allow me to do sleepovers, thank god. |
Anonymous
Not knowing the parents is not just a “mundane activity” |
Anonymous
My child will have anxiety because I don’t let her sleep over at a strangers house?!? |
Anonymous
Not OP, but a friend of mine was sexually molested by an older brother at a sleepover. She was eleven and he was 14. |
Anonymous
| No. Pick her up at midnight. |
Anonymous
This is much more common than you think. I was molested during a sleepover when I was 8 by my best friend’s 14-year-old brother. The parents went out shopping, and he made his move trying to make of seem like it was a game. My friend didn’t do or say anything which confused me. I learned 11 years later when we were in our late teens that she was being sexually abused by her dad. This did scar me and made it scary for me to go to my friend’s house. I tried to keep our playdates at my house as much as possible after that but I never told my parents because they would have severed our friendship. |
Anonymous
No it wasn’t a strange thing to mention, PP. You’re being obtuse to feign cluelessness about why it was mentioned About 98% of all sexual assault is perpetrated by males. Assault crimes require opportunity. For a potential predator, Opportunity and vulnerability is created when young girls are sleeping in the next room. Does this mean that a brother is necessarily a predator? No. But don’t be obnoxious by pretending you have no idea why that extraneous detail would be mentioned Some parents simply prefer to eliminate opportunity rather than attempt to assess the nature of the boy in question. |
Anonymous
Would you not allow a sleepover with a kid who was gay/bi, even if they weren't dating each other? It's so common now. |